don't touch me I'm a real live wire
I've been meaning to update this bloody thing for several hours now. As usual, I got caught up in the vortex of the internet. It started harmlessly enough, with the desire to listen to music and check out what's going on online. I was reading the news, and before I knew it, I had spiraled from music into movies and listening to the Talking Heads. I wish I was more familiar with their work. I only own their debut, but I am somewhat familiar with some of their subsequent work, if only the singles. Sigh.
The internet is becoming a lonely place again. I've been contemplating changing my phone number, my email, and possibly moving to another livejournal account. I know if I were to do all that, then I would be permanently walled off from large aspects of my past, something that is both tempting and frightening. It would be the ultimate purge, short of taking my life. Incidentally, while I know I won't go down that route, I do toy around with the idea of erasing my existence, however possible (or impossible) the internet may make that. Nowadays, we leave such a vast paper trail, and by writing these paranoid thoughts, I'm only contributing to the case against me as a rational human being.
These are pretty heavy thoughts for a Saturday afternoon. I do feel better than I did yesterday. I haven't overloaded on carbohydrates today, nor have I spent it passively in bed (instead, choosing to sit passively in front of a computer. ha! so much better ;) ).
I don't know. I'm clearly going through some major, tectonic changes. A true political and social revolution is taking place (does one ever happen without the other?) I'm afraid that aside from my nieces and nephew, I spend most of my time around people who are 5 to 10 years my senior, at least. I know that is not necessarily good for cognitive development, as (as far as I understand) my brain can still develop, it is not stagnating or slipping away like the minds of so many I know. There is a real and tangible worry about dementia, expressed by my mother and (possibly) occurring in my father.
I don't know. It is definitely a time for a period of inward reflection. I know that once I go back to school in August, but things will change again. For now, I am experiencing my own, long, hot summer. I just hope that rather than writing about the possibility of seizing the moment that I do actually do something, but I fear that might not happen.
I've spent my life building weak bridges and destroying them. I guess it's time to grow up, act like a mensch, and build lasting foundations. If for nothing else, to bridge the chasm between my thoughts (i.e. political beliefs) and my actions. Yeah, no pressure for big, insurmountable change, right? ;)
The internet is becoming a lonely place again. I've been contemplating changing my phone number, my email, and possibly moving to another livejournal account. I know if I were to do all that, then I would be permanently walled off from large aspects of my past, something that is both tempting and frightening. It would be the ultimate purge, short of taking my life. Incidentally, while I know I won't go down that route, I do toy around with the idea of erasing my existence, however possible (or impossible) the internet may make that. Nowadays, we leave such a vast paper trail, and by writing these paranoid thoughts, I'm only contributing to the case against me as a rational human being.
These are pretty heavy thoughts for a Saturday afternoon. I do feel better than I did yesterday. I haven't overloaded on carbohydrates today, nor have I spent it passively in bed (instead, choosing to sit passively in front of a computer. ha! so much better ;) ).
I don't know. I'm clearly going through some major, tectonic changes. A true political and social revolution is taking place (does one ever happen without the other?) I'm afraid that aside from my nieces and nephew, I spend most of my time around people who are 5 to 10 years my senior, at least. I know that is not necessarily good for cognitive development, as (as far as I understand) my brain can still develop, it is not stagnating or slipping away like the minds of so many I know. There is a real and tangible worry about dementia, expressed by my mother and (possibly) occurring in my father.
I don't know. It is definitely a time for a period of inward reflection. I know that once I go back to school in August, but things will change again. For now, I am experiencing my own, long, hot summer. I just hope that rather than writing about the possibility of seizing the moment that I do actually do something, but I fear that might not happen.
I've spent my life building weak bridges and destroying them. I guess it's time to grow up, act like a mensch, and build lasting foundations. If for nothing else, to bridge the chasm between my thoughts (i.e. political beliefs) and my actions. Yeah, no pressure for big, insurmountable change, right? ;)