The more time I spend in Derby the easier I think it would be if I never came home. I've started to try and distance myself so that I don't feel so lonely here and I'm worried that it's starting to work.

I feel like everytime I manage to sort out one thing that's bringing me down something else rushes in to fill it's place. I don't really want to go back up to Derby today even though I don't want to stay here and I know it'll stop all of the worries and panic associated with being down here. I alternate between happiness and depression when up in ( Read more... )

I've been in a mire of depression recently and just can't seem to drag myself out of it. Today was especially bad, I couldn't hold on to any kind of positive thought and everything that's been bothering me kept cycling round my brain until it was all I could focus on. I don't really know what I'm going to do about this, with any luck it'll just go ( Read more... )

I'm going to change hairdressers after the awful colouring I got done today. I just hope that it washes out quickly. I really didn't want orange streaks :(

I've been thinking that the only time I seem to get to know people is when I'm depressed.

• The first I talked to Sacha that wasn't about anime happened because I was depressed.
• The same ( Read more... )

Things haven't improved much since the last time I updated this. In fact I've been actively avoiding thinking about things. I just find that I can't articulate how I'm feeling at the moment. I'm at that point where stupid, self-destructive things seem logical and positive and wishing that I had just dropped out of uni last year because it would ( Read more... )

I really can't be bothered to comment on everyone's post or reply to people but I'm still reading everything ( Read more... )

Meh. I broke down again today, not for long but still, this really has to stop. Thankfully no one was here at the time and I'd gotten myself back under control by the time Hilary came round. I'm hoping that the reason I've been a lot more emotional recently is due to illness and stress from exams. If it isn't then I'm f*cked ( Read more... )

Life has become one big unending mundane piece of sh*t. Actually change that to life has always been and I only just realized and that's probably more accurate. And what caused this mood change? Abso-f*cking-lutely nothing. And why is that? Because this has been happening for a while now. It's just easier to smile and say 'fine' than answer any f ( Read more... )

Reaching out doesn't work as you're only ignored anyway. Bury it away coz nobody wants to know. It's disappointing after being asked to try, that's all I suppose. Plus today has sucked muchly.

I think I'll become 71 tonight.

Gomen nasai.

Why, hello there strangers. I do believe that I've neglected y'all (read it with a southern accent...you know you wanna ( Read more... )