Interesting Survey.
Now THIS is a survey...
1. Would you rather kill a puppy with your bare hands or make out with your father?
It depends... do I know he's my father? Is the puppy dying from illness already? I'd kill the dog if it were one of those annoying chiuauas, but if it were a lab... I'd have to make out with my father. But it would have to be my real father, cause I probably wouldnt know the difference.
2. What would be worse for the world: One giant (approx. 30 feet tall), cybernetic Hitler, or if all food screamed when you ate it.
Hahaha... who wrote this? I think food would be worse... Hitler was just a coke-addicted, butthurt man with a small penis, and nowadays, what with KingKong and all, really big hairy things aren't all that scary and a guy that big would have a hard time getting enough cocaine on the sly..... but if food actually SCREAMED when you ate it... a lot of people would die and only the sick fucks would keep eating.
3. Zombies become a very harsh reality. Sensing the ethical code society has instilled in you slipping away, you decide to start killing everything that moves with what weapon?
Sniper gun. Something tells me that would be fun.
4. When charging into battle, your war cry is?
Something with "motherfuckers" or "fuckaaaaaa" in it... but nothing I could type out cause I'd probably make it up on the spot, then Kristen would be next to me, screaming with laughter.
5. A temporal rift has opened up while you were in the bathroom and sucked you into the distant, distant past. Where do you pray to fucking God that you don't end up?
With Lepers. Especially if my pants are down.
6. Ninjas vs. Pirates: Who wins? Defend your answer.
Ninjas. Both groups are badass, but come on... ninjas have historical mysticalities in them and their shiny swords, while pirates are really more known for terrorizing civilians. And getting their drink on. (Hey Kristen! Does that make us pirates!?)
7. It's your wedding day. However, the night before ants crawled into your head and drove you insane.what song is stuck in your head?
OMG... this really happened to me this morning, except I wasn't getting married today and there were no ants. It was the Rent song from Rent... last year's rent... this year's rent... next year's rent.... holyhellshutthefuckupalready.
8. You're driving around and you see an Asian dude on a Kawasaki Ninja motorcycle with a sword strapped to his back. The first thought that comes to your mind is:
Sweet. I wonder if he ever pokes himself.
9. The Battle: A Pit Bull vs. A Pit Bull's body weight in ill-tempered weasels.
Are the weasels in a sack that looks like a pit bull? Cause that's what I first thought of... I'm going to go with pit bull... cause they're not all THAT big (it's not like a great dane's weight in weasels...) and though like, 5 weasels could hurt the pit bull, the pit bull would tear the shit out of them.
10. A serious Dance-Dance Revolution accident leaves you with special powers. Unfortunately the powers aren't all that super. It seems that all you can do is:
Look like an idiot while stepping on blue and red arrows... repeatedly.
11. What alcohol do you drink when you absolutely want the whole world to know how much you hate everyone?
Jagermeister. Or a whole bottle of Jack. But then again, I drink Jack when I love everyone... so maybe some cheap cheap vodka.
12. You have sinned grossly against God and your country. Your punishment is to be eaten alive by one of God's creatures. Luckily, you get to pick what creature that is:
I'mma go with a lion. I wouldn't want to stay alive inside some reptile's body... or be swallowed by a whale... it's been done. Just give me good old Mufasa. King of the Jungle.
13. In your most humble opinion, what do you feel is the most vile and savage swearword you can spew forth unto another person:
Cumsuckingslutbag. Or, republican. Ugh... vile.
14. You get to change the name of the state you are living in. You choose:
Hahahahaha... I'd change Massachusetts to "Landofstuckupoldmoneyuglies" haha. Or something comparible.
15. Which animal would totally eat you if it could?
Snails. They'd add salt.
16. Sexiest number between 1 and 10:
Seven... seven... seven..seven..seven SEVEN!!!
17. You are carrying your drink back from the bar when you accidentally run into this girl, spilling your drink on her. She's being a total bitch about it but, c'mon, it was totally just an accident. Her boyfriend subsequently challenges you to fisticuffs. Name two friends you'd want on your side in a fight:
Hrmm... Lets see. I'm going to make a list before I decide...
Kristen: would totally throw down, and call them nasty names as well.
Tiffany: would run away screaming.
Melissa: would try to play peacemaker and offer weed in exchange for friendship.
My sister: has recently proven that she'd hit an old biker dude to get him to stop just LOOKING at me...
Rachael: would probably find a way to get out of it.
Jen F: would definitely throw down, then get hurt in the first 5 seconds
Alicia: wouldn't want to get hurt.
Stevie: might throw down... she'd probably talk all kinds of shit before actually hitting anyone.
Stuart: would run away screaming with Tiffany.
Renee: would throw down and fight dirty.
Tim: would probably quote some movie to throw the guys off guard.
Melissa Clarady: would definitely get into the mix.
I'm going to say Kristen and Mel Clarady... but if they weren't there, Jen Fortin and Renee would be my backups, and Anna (sister) would definitely protect me at all costs... but only with like 5 beers in her. Otherwise, she's got too much to live for, haha.
18. If you could, what historical figure would you totally like to peg in the junk with a brick? Don't say Hitler, you uncreative fuck:
can I say Jesus? I know that's all kinds of controversial, but Christianity doesn't think he used it anyway... and something tells me he was all kinds of cocky going around saying he was the son of the father... regardless if it were true. (sorry stevie, don't be mad!)
19. What would it cost to make you willingly and knowingly contract pubic lice?
Honestly... it's fucking gross, but a few million dollars would have me cleaned out and paid off in no time. Ew.
20. Think of the grossest name a strip club could possibly have:
Cottage Cheese Creamery ... haha I'm sticking with this one.
1. Would you rather kill a puppy with your bare hands or make out with your father?
It depends... do I know he's my father? Is the puppy dying from illness already? I'd kill the dog if it were one of those annoying chiuauas, but if it were a lab... I'd have to make out with my father. But it would have to be my real father, cause I probably wouldnt know the difference.
2. What would be worse for the world: One giant (approx. 30 feet tall), cybernetic Hitler, or if all food screamed when you ate it.
Hahaha... who wrote this? I think food would be worse... Hitler was just a coke-addicted, butthurt man with a small penis, and nowadays, what with KingKong and all, really big hairy things aren't all that scary and a guy that big would have a hard time getting enough cocaine on the sly..... but if food actually SCREAMED when you ate it... a lot of people would die and only the sick fucks would keep eating.
3. Zombies become a very harsh reality. Sensing the ethical code society has instilled in you slipping away, you decide to start killing everything that moves with what weapon?
Sniper gun. Something tells me that would be fun.
4. When charging into battle, your war cry is?
Something with "motherfuckers" or "fuckaaaaaa" in it... but nothing I could type out cause I'd probably make it up on the spot, then Kristen would be next to me, screaming with laughter.
5. A temporal rift has opened up while you were in the bathroom and sucked you into the distant, distant past. Where do you pray to fucking God that you don't end up?
With Lepers. Especially if my pants are down.
6. Ninjas vs. Pirates: Who wins? Defend your answer.
Ninjas. Both groups are badass, but come on... ninjas have historical mysticalities in them and their shiny swords, while pirates are really more known for terrorizing civilians. And getting their drink on. (Hey Kristen! Does that make us pirates!?)
7. It's your wedding day. However, the night before ants crawled into your head and drove you insane.what song is stuck in your head?
OMG... this really happened to me this morning, except I wasn't getting married today and there were no ants. It was the Rent song from Rent... last year's rent... this year's rent... next year's rent.... holyhellshutthefuckupalready.
8. You're driving around and you see an Asian dude on a Kawasaki Ninja motorcycle with a sword strapped to his back. The first thought that comes to your mind is:
Sweet. I wonder if he ever pokes himself.
9. The Battle: A Pit Bull vs. A Pit Bull's body weight in ill-tempered weasels.
Are the weasels in a sack that looks like a pit bull? Cause that's what I first thought of... I'm going to go with pit bull... cause they're not all THAT big (it's not like a great dane's weight in weasels...) and though like, 5 weasels could hurt the pit bull, the pit bull would tear the shit out of them.
10. A serious Dance-Dance Revolution accident leaves you with special powers. Unfortunately the powers aren't all that super. It seems that all you can do is:
Look like an idiot while stepping on blue and red arrows... repeatedly.
11. What alcohol do you drink when you absolutely want the whole world to know how much you hate everyone?
Jagermeister. Or a whole bottle of Jack. But then again, I drink Jack when I love everyone... so maybe some cheap cheap vodka.
12. You have sinned grossly against God and your country. Your punishment is to be eaten alive by one of God's creatures. Luckily, you get to pick what creature that is:
I'mma go with a lion. I wouldn't want to stay alive inside some reptile's body... or be swallowed by a whale... it's been done. Just give me good old Mufasa. King of the Jungle.
13. In your most humble opinion, what do you feel is the most vile and savage swearword you can spew forth unto another person:
Cumsuckingslutbag. Or, republican. Ugh... vile.
14. You get to change the name of the state you are living in. You choose:
Hahahahaha... I'd change Massachusetts to "Landofstuckupoldmoneyuglies" haha. Or something comparible.
15. Which animal would totally eat you if it could?
Snails. They'd add salt.
16. Sexiest number between 1 and 10:
Seven... seven... seven..seven..seven SEVEN!!!
17. You are carrying your drink back from the bar when you accidentally run into this girl, spilling your drink on her. She's being a total bitch about it but, c'mon, it was totally just an accident. Her boyfriend subsequently challenges you to fisticuffs. Name two friends you'd want on your side in a fight:
Hrmm... Lets see. I'm going to make a list before I decide...
Kristen: would totally throw down, and call them nasty names as well.
Tiffany: would run away screaming.
Melissa: would try to play peacemaker and offer weed in exchange for friendship.
My sister: has recently proven that she'd hit an old biker dude to get him to stop just LOOKING at me...
Rachael: would probably find a way to get out of it.
Jen F: would definitely throw down, then get hurt in the first 5 seconds
Alicia: wouldn't want to get hurt.
Stevie: might throw down... she'd probably talk all kinds of shit before actually hitting anyone.
Stuart: would run away screaming with Tiffany.
Renee: would throw down and fight dirty.
Tim: would probably quote some movie to throw the guys off guard.
Melissa Clarady: would definitely get into the mix.
I'm going to say Kristen and Mel Clarady... but if they weren't there, Jen Fortin and Renee would be my backups, and Anna (sister) would definitely protect me at all costs... but only with like 5 beers in her. Otherwise, she's got too much to live for, haha.
18. If you could, what historical figure would you totally like to peg in the junk with a brick? Don't say Hitler, you uncreative fuck:
can I say Jesus? I know that's all kinds of controversial, but Christianity doesn't think he used it anyway... and something tells me he was all kinds of cocky going around saying he was the son of the father... regardless if it were true. (sorry stevie, don't be mad!)
19. What would it cost to make you willingly and knowingly contract pubic lice?
Honestly... it's fucking gross, but a few million dollars would have me cleaned out and paid off in no time. Ew.
20. Think of the grossest name a strip club could possibly have:
Cottage Cheese Creamery ... haha I'm sticking with this one.