I'm finally ready to move on

[kiss_of_velvet]

After being rejected from being teased, I am ready to move on and have another relationship. I know it's going to be a long long time before I meet anyone. I met Chris again for the first time in years... but jus like every guy he became distant the moment I started getting more comfortable with him. I don't know... Maybe there is something wrong with me. I mean, I kind of rushed into my last relationship, I don't want to rush into this one. So I figured by letting him have his space and not talking to him or hanging out with him that much was a good thing. But I guess I was wrong. When I try to talk with him he signs off almost automatically. He's a great guy, he probably found someone more interesting. I mean, I don't really like to go out, I don't like to be around a lot of people I don't know. I go to work and then I come home and take care of my family. That's right, I live with my parents and my brother. That's jus the kind of person I am. I guess it's not on guys top list of sexy woman lol. I'm not really a sexy person as it is though. When it comes to sex, whatever you want, no problem. But its not a priority anymore. I'd rather clean, make experimental dinner and cuddle up on the couch and watch a movie. Going out is fun but not all the time. Going to parties is fun but not all the time. I guess, I'm ready to settle down and take care of my own family. I mean, I have my problems. I have mother issues, I can be controlling, I can be needy at times, sometimes I'm depressed for days into weeks... Problems can be solved and resolved but the one thing I probably cannot give up is my love for woman. But than I never gave men a chance to begin with. I jus want to give men a chance before I know as to weather I want to settle with a woman or with a man. But like I said in the beginning... It's going to be a long time before I find anyone. I plan on getting a license so I can go out and attempt to meet people. I'm not very good at meeting new people. I'm horribly shy. Before I can start thinking about a license and getting a car I need to pay my bills off first. Once that happens I need to update my wardrobe. I've been wearing the same cloths for almost 3 years. Once I get all that done and taken care of, I can start looking for my own place. Once accomplished I then know I will be ready for anything.

Future goals:
- get bills paid off in full (one or two years)
- driver's license (I'll start start studying now I guess)
- car and car insurance
- update wardrobe
- become familiar with the club and bar scene
- find either a house or apartment, most likely apartment.
- hopefully have a life for the first time scene high school
- settle down

But like most plans made there will be alterations as life goes on. When I was in school I always thought I'd be married or settled with one child at my age of 25. or at least single with an accident. But I guess I'm more conservative than I thought. I guess I'll jus keep on living, see what challenges the fates throw at me and live with it. We shall see.