He's growing distant.

[kiss_of_velvet]

This is why I said no when he asked me to be his girlfriend. In the past, I'd see them all the time. Than when they asked and I said yes I'd never really see them again. I jus don't know how to really feel anymore. I mean, I would love to be his girlfriend. He is the only guy I have ever felt anything for and even thought about moving on to the next level. I'm jus afraid, I'm going to hurt him. I jus can't help to think... What would change? Would he go away? Would he make more effort to be around me? Would we hang out more? I mean, I want to be around him and get to know him more but it seems we keep pushing each other away. Are we even ready to take the next level? Are we both too depressed for relationships? Will I make him happy? I mean, can I make him happy? Can we make each other happy?

I feel sad when he's gone and fuzzy when he's around. I don't know what the hell is going on with me.

Maybe I really don't deserve to be happy. Or be happy with someone. I feel sad, isolated and lonely. I hate emotional roller coasters.

I miss him.