If You Give a Spider a Cookie...
Summary: ...it will probably end in buttsex.
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Flash Thompson/Peter Parker (Amazing Spider-Man movie-verse)
Warnings: filthy porn based on a beloved children's picture book
A/N: I disappear for months, and this is how I return. You're all going to hell with me. Written for spiderkink.
If you leave a half-finished plate of cookies on the desk under your window, someone will knock on the glass.
If someone knocks on the glass, you will have to drag yourself out of bed in a threadbare undershirt and briefs. You will curse the lack of heating in your apartment as you stumble over to the window and pull the curtains back, revealing a familiar figure crouching on the fire escape.
If you curse the lack of heating in your apartment, you will realize that your nipples are stiff from the cold.
If your nipples are stiff, the mask will be pulled off. The eyes behind it will be big and liquid and far too innocent for the smirk curling around his mouth.
"Aren't you going to offer me a bite?" he asks.
If you hand him a cookie, crumbs will stick to the luscious curve of his lips. He will ask you for a napkin. You do not have napkins in your bedroom and you wouldn't give him one if you did.
If you decline his request for a napkin, he will lean over and press his lips to yours. He will taste like night rain and adrenaline, although you're fairly sure those things don't have a taste and you wouldn't recognize it if they did. You will plunge your tongue into his mouth anyway because he tastes like him, and that's the important thing.
If you plunge your tongue into his mouth, he will moan. This is because he is a filthy slut who loves to have any part of him filled with any part of you. You will grab his hand and place it against the front of your briefs, pressing into him until he palms your cock.
If he palms your cock, it will twitch and throb. If he feels it, he will moan again. This is because he's still a filthy slut and he knows what your cock can do to him.
If he thinks about what your cock can do to him, he will get so hard it warps the spandex. He will peel the suit off to avoid stretching it out of shape.
If he peels the suit off, you will be able to see his ass in glorious detail. You can see it in glorious detail when he has the suit on, but no one has invented fabric that can withstand a rough fingering.
If you shove two spit-slick fingers into him, he will whine and arch off the bed. His muscles will tighten around you, promising things to come.
If you spread your fingers to stretch him wider, he will start muttering for you to come on and put your cock in him already, fuck him hard, he's not made of glass and he fingers himself every night when he jerks off.
If he mutters that he's not made of glass, you will bury yourself in his tight hole with a single, vicious thrust and as much spit as you can work up. Because he is such an unbelievably filthy slut, this will only make him moan louder.
If he tightens around you, you will pin his legs against his chest and thrust faster. You will praise his freakish flexibility and he will praise your freakish size.
If you fuck him hard and deep enough, he will come without anyone touching his cock.
If he comes, biting your pillow and squeezing so hard it actually hurts for a moment, orgasm will hit you like a truck. You will collapse on top of him and possibly lose consciousness for a couple seconds.
If you lie on top of him for too long, he will wiggle out of your bed and start pulling the suit back on.
If he pulls the suit back on, he's no longer your boyfriend.
But that's okay, because if he leaves, you just have to set out another plate of cookies.
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Flash Thompson/Peter Parker (Amazing Spider-Man movie-verse)
Warnings: filthy porn based on a beloved children's picture book
A/N: I disappear for months, and this is how I return. You're all going to hell with me. Written for spiderkink.
If you leave a half-finished plate of cookies on the desk under your window, someone will knock on the glass.
If someone knocks on the glass, you will have to drag yourself out of bed in a threadbare undershirt and briefs. You will curse the lack of heating in your apartment as you stumble over to the window and pull the curtains back, revealing a familiar figure crouching on the fire escape.
If you curse the lack of heating in your apartment, you will realize that your nipples are stiff from the cold.
If your nipples are stiff, the mask will be pulled off. The eyes behind it will be big and liquid and far too innocent for the smirk curling around his mouth.
"Aren't you going to offer me a bite?" he asks.
If you hand him a cookie, crumbs will stick to the luscious curve of his lips. He will ask you for a napkin. You do not have napkins in your bedroom and you wouldn't give him one if you did.
If you decline his request for a napkin, he will lean over and press his lips to yours. He will taste like night rain and adrenaline, although you're fairly sure those things don't have a taste and you wouldn't recognize it if they did. You will plunge your tongue into his mouth anyway because he tastes like him, and that's the important thing.
If you plunge your tongue into his mouth, he will moan. This is because he is a filthy slut who loves to have any part of him filled with any part of you. You will grab his hand and place it against the front of your briefs, pressing into him until he palms your cock.
If he palms your cock, it will twitch and throb. If he feels it, he will moan again. This is because he's still a filthy slut and he knows what your cock can do to him.
If he thinks about what your cock can do to him, he will get so hard it warps the spandex. He will peel the suit off to avoid stretching it out of shape.
If he peels the suit off, you will be able to see his ass in glorious detail. You can see it in glorious detail when he has the suit on, but no one has invented fabric that can withstand a rough fingering.
If you shove two spit-slick fingers into him, he will whine and arch off the bed. His muscles will tighten around you, promising things to come.
If you spread your fingers to stretch him wider, he will start muttering for you to come on and put your cock in him already, fuck him hard, he's not made of glass and he fingers himself every night when he jerks off.
If he mutters that he's not made of glass, you will bury yourself in his tight hole with a single, vicious thrust and as much spit as you can work up. Because he is such an unbelievably filthy slut, this will only make him moan louder.
If he tightens around you, you will pin his legs against his chest and thrust faster. You will praise his freakish flexibility and he will praise your freakish size.
If you fuck him hard and deep enough, he will come without anyone touching his cock.
If he comes, biting your pillow and squeezing so hard it actually hurts for a moment, orgasm will hit you like a truck. You will collapse on top of him and possibly lose consciousness for a couple seconds.
If you lie on top of him for too long, he will wiggle out of your bed and start pulling the suit back on.
If he pulls the suit back on, he's no longer your boyfriend.
But that's okay, because if he leaves, you just have to set out another plate of cookies.