(no subject)
Ok, so I'm guessing that you are all aware that me and Dave have now split. The two year relationship that resulted in being engaged got washed down the pan in a matter of a week. I will not give full details here because I don't want to look like I'm slagging Dave off, if you want more information then contact me somehow. Basically, a quick run down is that he says he's not been happy for a year and that everything has got on top of him, we didn't argue as such but we talked and was trying to get back on track...but he didn't want to eventually and decided that he didn't know whether he wanted to be with me or not.
I have been hanging around with Kev a lot since this all kicked off so Dave had it into his head that something was going off while we were together with me and Kev...the truth is that there was nothing while me and Dave were together. I loved Dave with all my heart and intended to spend the rest of my life with him, get married, have kids and grow old together - but during the last week of his 'thinking' period he made me doubt my own thoughts, I was coming around to the thinking that what had happened the week before was making me lose those feelings. I tried desperatly to hold on to them but Dave gave me the impression that we weren't going to get back together at all. So, I had to let those feelings go in order to move on.
I wasn't going to move out because we were going to stay friends, but after the mutual split and saying that yes we will stay friends, things have gone pear shaped there too. It's getting unbearable in the house, mainly because for two weeks we've had his friend from work, Amy, staying with us. She's had some problems with her bloke so needed time out from him...then ended up splitting with him. And seeing them two together doing stuff that me and Dave should have been doing for the last few months hurt me a lot.
So...I'm moving out into a flat or one beedroom house somewhere and Amy is going to be moving in. But in order for that to happen I still need a sodding job.
I did start one and after a few days left. It was all commission based, fair enough it was like 25 quid per signature. But I had to travel to sheffield, to start at 10. Have a meeting, set off to my territory for the day either in Rotherham or Doncaster. Do 8 hours of walking around knocking on doors trying to sign people up to RSPB, to set off back to the office at 8.30. Do paperwork and a wind-down meeting for the night. Leave the office in the CENTRE (the moor) or Sheffield at 10, have a 15 min walk to the train station and catch a train back to Barnsley...get a bus, get home and sleep to repeat it the next day....for 5.5 days. Not really me, plus after all this (above) happened if I want a flat I cant rely on commission no matter how good the commission is, I'm just going to be thinking 'sign up you cunt so I can pay rent' all the time and get even more stressed.
So, I'm back to looking. There has been quite a few people off me sofa's and beds, Jonaz and Tanya have said that when his mum leaves to go back to Morocco I can have the spare room if I need it, and my mum says she'll store all my stuff until I can sort myself out so I don't have to worry about having to keep my stuff at Royston and still pay rent there. Need boxes though...and theres a problem. I bought a shit load of stuff for our first house together, that we started using when his mum and dad moved out....I bought them and didn't go for cheap stuff either...but if I leave with them, they wont have anything...cos its like, plates, cups, glasses, knives and forks, kettle, toaster, that kind of stuff.
I have to leave my dog, and possibly my hamsters :( but my dog wont come to me anyways now. Which also hurts.
So...thats whats been happening.
In other news, I went out last night with Kev and a few others for Frans birthday. We kinda left early cos I got tired and wasn't the life of the party. Was nice seeing Mike and Kav again....still think that Mike should grow his hair back. And Kav shouldnt have been such a wuss and leave before us...and not drink!
I have been hanging around with Kev a lot since this all kicked off so Dave had it into his head that something was going off while we were together with me and Kev...the truth is that there was nothing while me and Dave were together. I loved Dave with all my heart and intended to spend the rest of my life with him, get married, have kids and grow old together - but during the last week of his 'thinking' period he made me doubt my own thoughts, I was coming around to the thinking that what had happened the week before was making me lose those feelings. I tried desperatly to hold on to them but Dave gave me the impression that we weren't going to get back together at all. So, I had to let those feelings go in order to move on.
I wasn't going to move out because we were going to stay friends, but after the mutual split and saying that yes we will stay friends, things have gone pear shaped there too. It's getting unbearable in the house, mainly because for two weeks we've had his friend from work, Amy, staying with us. She's had some problems with her bloke so needed time out from him...then ended up splitting with him. And seeing them two together doing stuff that me and Dave should have been doing for the last few months hurt me a lot.
So...I'm moving out into a flat or one beedroom house somewhere and Amy is going to be moving in. But in order for that to happen I still need a sodding job.
I did start one and after a few days left. It was all commission based, fair enough it was like 25 quid per signature. But I had to travel to sheffield, to start at 10. Have a meeting, set off to my territory for the day either in Rotherham or Doncaster. Do 8 hours of walking around knocking on doors trying to sign people up to RSPB, to set off back to the office at 8.30. Do paperwork and a wind-down meeting for the night. Leave the office in the CENTRE (the moor) or Sheffield at 10, have a 15 min walk to the train station and catch a train back to Barnsley...get a bus, get home and sleep to repeat it the next day....for 5.5 days. Not really me, plus after all this (above) happened if I want a flat I cant rely on commission no matter how good the commission is, I'm just going to be thinking 'sign up you cunt so I can pay rent' all the time and get even more stressed.
So, I'm back to looking. There has been quite a few people off me sofa's and beds, Jonaz and Tanya have said that when his mum leaves to go back to Morocco I can have the spare room if I need it, and my mum says she'll store all my stuff until I can sort myself out so I don't have to worry about having to keep my stuff at Royston and still pay rent there. Need boxes though...and theres a problem. I bought a shit load of stuff for our first house together, that we started using when his mum and dad moved out....I bought them and didn't go for cheap stuff either...but if I leave with them, they wont have anything...cos its like, plates, cups, glasses, knives and forks, kettle, toaster, that kind of stuff.
I have to leave my dog, and possibly my hamsters :( but my dog wont come to me anyways now. Which also hurts.
So...thats whats been happening.
In other news, I went out last night with Kev and a few others for Frans birthday. We kinda left early cos I got tired and wasn't the life of the party. Was nice seeing Mike and Kav again....still think that Mike should grow his hair back. And Kav shouldnt have been such a wuss and leave before us...and not drink!