(no subject)
I dont know where to begin. I had thought I would have sorted out some things by now, or at least have written more about them, but it seems as though I have been busy, or allowing myself not to 'think' about recent events lately. Could be a good thing, moreso not.
My grandmother has passed on to another journey as of Saturday morning. I knew something was up as I kept waking throughout the early part of it. When Dman told me there was a call on the phone from my father, I already knew what it was and spoke to him just like he had with me - as if we were talking about a distant friend, and not someone close. This appears to be a family thing, automatic mode.
Tried to call my mother... she was still asleep. Called my sister, her phone was disconnected and then same with my daughters. I can tell Dman is uncertain on what to say/do so honestly, I feel like there is no one to really speak to. At least family wise.
I was heading into work, and decided to work to get my mind off what had just happened. Yet, I found myself calling Dman all day long asking if he had "heard anything yet" or to tell him the random things I was thinking of that needed to be done. Im fairly certain he is annoyed at times with my randomness, but honestly - I dont care.
So now I am waiting on what the flight plans will be and looking over flowers to send and a great sadness has come over me.
Is it a bad thing that I havent shed a tear yet? I have caught myself at times welling up like some are to flow, but they cant seem to get to the point of coming out.
Perhaps the tears will come... soon.
My grandmother has passed on to another journey as of Saturday morning. I knew something was up as I kept waking throughout the early part of it. When Dman told me there was a call on the phone from my father, I already knew what it was and spoke to him just like he had with me - as if we were talking about a distant friend, and not someone close. This appears to be a family thing, automatic mode.
Tried to call my mother... she was still asleep. Called my sister, her phone was disconnected and then same with my daughters. I can tell Dman is uncertain on what to say/do so honestly, I feel like there is no one to really speak to. At least family wise.
I was heading into work, and decided to work to get my mind off what had just happened. Yet, I found myself calling Dman all day long asking if he had "heard anything yet" or to tell him the random things I was thinking of that needed to be done. Im fairly certain he is annoyed at times with my randomness, but honestly - I dont care.
So now I am waiting on what the flight plans will be and looking over flowers to send and a great sadness has come over me.
Is it a bad thing that I havent shed a tear yet? I have caught myself at times welling up like some are to flow, but they cant seem to get to the point of coming out.
Perhaps the tears will come... soon.