Taffy-K
I have been busy lately and yes, I will update on those events at another time. It's been rough the last few days though. I will not hide it anymore. To be honest, I dont know just how much I can take.
I have my job, but cannot seem to catch up on the essential areas of my life that need attention. Like friends, debt, and family. I have found out in the last three days that my grandmother is dying and my niece is also. My grandmother, was in remission with breast cancer and is now 80+ yrs old and it's returned. However, in her age - her mind is not functioning as well as it used to. She has messed up all the family's finances (mostly hers)in her forgetfulness, and ultimately has had herself dropped from her insurance carier due to none payment. My dad and aunt have gotten her back taxes and other living situation settled and up to date, and now this. Know the kicker? Her insurance company will not renew her because of her "pre-condition". This is coming from the company that was with her when she first found out, helped treated her while going through it the first time, etc and now... they cant do anything about it?? All because she let her policy lapse two months?
So now she is at home, waiting to die (80+ = too old for treatments) and my father is going crazy. Literally. He called me the other day and thought I was my sister. Then proceded to call me by my full first name (not his pet one) and go on about this recent situation with the cancer very business-like. Yes, my father is stressed... this is not like him at all - especially when dealing/talking with me on things. I feel helpless in that he has shut himself off to 'do what needs to be done' and that I cant be there for him... I know his new girlfriend understands our relationship and the closeness it has. I hope she doest get pissed like the Step-Monster did when my grandfather died (Dad cried on my shoulder the whole time, "ignoring" her) And yet, worried about him... I am ignoring the fact that she is going to be gone soon. And havent even started thinking about this from my end yet. Until now.
I called Al to wish her a happy 16th birthday today, to which I was met with the news of my neice. She is 2 days younger then Al and found out Friday that she has cancer, but they dont know what type just yet. It has spread to about 30% of her body, including her heart/lung area and kidneys (one failed this morning prompting emergency surgery), her neck, face, and other important areas. And once again, I cannot be there for my daughter who has grown up with her cousin from 'day one'. Ive already been stressed about another situation with them, then to find out that this is going on and she cant enjoy a "sweet 16", or that it will be over-looked due to recent news. Oh, then there is the feelings I have to deal with myself on this...
And my sister has been around lately too. How many more ways can I be stretched at one time?
Yeah. So, if I seem a bit distant there is reason. I know I havent really been keeping this journal going over the past few months, but serves me right to try and do it on my own.
Thought sorting will commence... you have been warned.
I have my job, but cannot seem to catch up on the essential areas of my life that need attention. Like friends, debt, and family. I have found out in the last three days that my grandmother is dying and my niece is also. My grandmother, was in remission with breast cancer and is now 80+ yrs old and it's returned. However, in her age - her mind is not functioning as well as it used to. She has messed up all the family's finances (mostly hers)in her forgetfulness, and ultimately has had herself dropped from her insurance carier due to none payment. My dad and aunt have gotten her back taxes and other living situation settled and up to date, and now this. Know the kicker? Her insurance company will not renew her because of her "pre-condition". This is coming from the company that was with her when she first found out, helped treated her while going through it the first time, etc and now... they cant do anything about it?? All because she let her policy lapse two months?
So now she is at home, waiting to die (80+ = too old for treatments) and my father is going crazy. Literally. He called me the other day and thought I was my sister. Then proceded to call me by my full first name (not his pet one) and go on about this recent situation with the cancer very business-like. Yes, my father is stressed... this is not like him at all - especially when dealing/talking with me on things. I feel helpless in that he has shut himself off to 'do what needs to be done' and that I cant be there for him... I know his new girlfriend understands our relationship and the closeness it has. I hope she doest get pissed like the Step-Monster did when my grandfather died (Dad cried on my shoulder the whole time, "ignoring" her) And yet, worried about him... I am ignoring the fact that she is going to be gone soon. And havent even started thinking about this from my end yet. Until now.
I called Al to wish her a happy 16th birthday today, to which I was met with the news of my neice. She is 2 days younger then Al and found out Friday that she has cancer, but they dont know what type just yet. It has spread to about 30% of her body, including her heart/lung area and kidneys (one failed this morning prompting emergency surgery), her neck, face, and other important areas. And once again, I cannot be there for my daughter who has grown up with her cousin from 'day one'. Ive already been stressed about another situation with them, then to find out that this is going on and she cant enjoy a "sweet 16", or that it will be over-looked due to recent news. Oh, then there is the feelings I have to deal with myself on this...
And my sister has been around lately too. How many more ways can I be stretched at one time?
Yeah. So, if I seem a bit distant there is reason. I know I havent really been keeping this journal going over the past few months, but serves me right to try and do it on my own.
Thought sorting will commence... you have been warned.