( About SI... )

This discussion is interesting. I dislike the term "service user" very much. And i've been scolded for referring to my problems as "mental illness" about as many times as professionals have called it that. Some people call it "your demons" or "your difficulties", but i'm not sure about those either. I have a feeling that "mental illness" as a term ( Read more... )

Fuck ( Read more... )

What IS it about self-harm that people find so incredibly difficult to deal with??
There's lots of coping mechanisms people use. Drinking, smoking, drugs, shopping, sex, eating, not eating... you name it. None of those seem to be reacted to quite in the same way as SI. I wonder if it's because SI can't be mistaken for anything other than evidence of ( Read more... )

I've spent almost the entirity of my waking day reading Where Does it Hurt? by Max Pemberton. I first came across the authors first book when i was admitted to hospital after an OD, and dad brought Trust Me, I'm a Junior Doctor for me to read as a laugh. I then found out that he'd written a followup because an extract was in The Big Issue.
Both ( Read more... )

I'm 'home', aka in Ciren with dad and Emmy.
Emmy has changed a bit. She seems less self-centred (well, a little bit!), more energetic (she's so damn busy! At the moment her main thing is getting work at all the nearest festivals), and just... different. As she's sortof a child i guess i'm seeing her grow up a chunk each time i see her every few ( Read more... )

Depression:

Potential causes of onset:
- stress
- fear of growing up and of entering the 'outside world' (partly taken from my mums view of the world as being threatening which caused her to be over-protective and see the danger in everything)
- feelings of hopelessness regarding anxiety disorder and ED
- not talking through my feelings with others
- ( Read more... )

I am going fucking crazy.

Being on my own so much is bad. I'm so self-absorbed i'm practically inside-out.
There's the depression. I spent the whole day in bed dozing to escape it. There's nothing i want to do. I'm not interested in or enthusiastic about anything. 
Suicide seems like a damn good idea which is a clear indication that i'm in trouble. ( Read more... )

My SI from two nights ago is possibly the worst i've ever done. It's not deep, at all, but the pain, awkwardness, messiness and difficulty of it displaces that.
The area of my leg is rather big. And it's not drying - it's bleeding and oozing. So if i bandage it it sticks, and removing the dressings is agony and makes it bleed like fuck. Ideally it ( Read more... )

I'm low.
Not entirely surprising because i've been in this depression-breeding-ground for the last 4 days - loneliness, boredom, lack of exercise. It actually makes me feel better seeing that written down because there's a solid reason why i feel shit. Maybe that's why depression has been so unbearable recently because i haven't been able to pin a ( Read more... )