Rise and Snarl
A couple of weeks ago, as the sun broke through the bamboo blinds and nudged me awake , I reached across my king sized bed in search of my partner.I came off empty handed as usual. This bed is so big I actually have to search for him. I caught a glimpse of the alarm clock as I traversed the expanse of quilted comfort . My bleary sight registered 8am ish .It was still early , thank goodness. I had high hope for how my day was going to go.
I hadn't overslept ,I was happy to be awake, almost eager to start my day, if only I could cuddle for a minute.
As I lazily drape my arm across a continents broadness of chest, I angle my arm up at the elbow and reach up to ruffle his beard.
I touch baby soft skin, a firm square chin, and bare jaw.... bare jaw ? HUH?!?
Some small self defense mechanism of my slumber slowed brain clicked on auto pilot.
"There is no beard here?"
My inner narrator sounds mildly panicked.
Who the hell is this?!”
I sit bolt upright , my breath caught in my throat and there he is smiling sweetly.
This is exactly who I went to sleep with, but different. I am sleep dazed and freaked out and not thinking too clearly yet. I think my eyes are crossing a little….
He has his thumb hooked under his eyeshade, one swampy green eye twinkling playfully. He sees the look on my face and before he can help himself, he smirks...
He shaved his goatee while I was asleep..
Not only did he shave his goatee while I was asleep, he thinks it's funny.
That’s not funny, it’s traumatic!! It would be about the same if he woke up and I had “trimmed” ten inches off my hair while he slept. I cultivated that goatee. Begged for it!! I got him to grow it kinda long. It wasn’t sloppy though, just mildly unruly .Unlike most beards, his was silky and still full. Nice to touch .Shot with silver in a few places and highlighted with rich gold. Very macho, a little dangerous, trendy even. I loved it .
He still has that Magnum PI ‘stache goin on, I think he thinks that’s a good compromise. It’s not.
I feel my lower lip tremble like a three year old , and my eyes well up with water and before I know what is happening a great big tear rolled down my cheek and I sobbed ( just for a second before I buried my face in my Hello Kitty head pillow ) then shrieked , as clearly as possible through six inches of poly fill and fake fur sculpture, "WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR!!!"
I could feel him shift and lean close to me. "Awwwww Baby” as he rubbed my back, ” You knew I had this important something, something la, la, la, some good reason for maiming myself , blah , blah , blah….." But I didn't listen, I was too busy seething.
I mumble things that sounded like agreement (but certainly were not) into my now damp character plushy.
Instead of listening I was rowing over my woes:
“What was he thinking? Was he thinking? Am I really using ‘he’ and ‘thinking’ in the same sentence?”
” Why am I crying? And all over Hello Kitty? “
“How will I re- fluff her silky acrylic fur after prying snot balls from it ? “
Fuss! I hoped I had taken my mascara off the night before,.…
Now I am pissed that the guerilla goatee shaving has not only dragged me shrieking (and nearly kicking) into another day , instead of letting me glide into it in the arms of my loved one, but possibly ruined my “Disembodied Head of Hello Kitty “ with copious tearing and Mega Lash boogers.
As I contemplate the soppy mass destruction which is my pillow and the idea of living with someone who resembles a manly version of his own pretty younger sister, wearing a fake mustache for the next week, I hear him laugh. He laughs, not at me (maybe a little at me) but with me ,at the situation. At the absolute silliness of it.
There are no words for what that sound means to me.
His melodic, throaty chuckle.
A rare sound after the way the past couple of months have played out. I smile big because I know he can’t see me.
“You look like Rocky” I say. He knows who I am talking about and laughs again. The bed rumbles with his lightheartedness. Soon he is squeezing me around the ribs the way I like and rubbing his bald chin against my shoulders, until I am laughing too.
My heart soars and my day brightens just a little (okay a lot) and I realize just how important him shaving his beard off really was....