Is it love or is it Stockholm syndrome? Who really knows anymore ....
I shouldn't start my day with episodes of "I Didn't know I was Pregnant" .
I know , you thought I didn't watch TV?
I don't .
It's on in the background , I don't even face it .
I stare at this monitor ,at least 6 hours a day .Endless listing after endless vauge listing ,until I am crosseyed from eye fatigue and contorted from my not even close to ergonomically correct desk chair yet no where closer to my goal.
Yipee , this is so much better than a cubicle job with an unwavering paycheck and health beni's. Cough cough ,moan in discomfort. I don't answer to some Big Faceless Company. I may have no car , and a non existant bank account , but damn it I am no sell out.
I am so ready to sell out.
I wanna have to get dressed to go to work. I want to anticipate a lunch hour and pick up a cashable check at the end of the week. I want to have to wear long sleeves, and yes ma'am people 10 years younger than I am . Fuck this "own my own business" whooha, I need to see a dentist.
Anyway , back to my choice in background noise
."I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" isn't working. The agonized screams of women in surprise labor , concerned narration and suspenseful music is nerve wracking . Mostly the screaming and denial. I am pretty sure a heathy dose of screaming and denial is not the best way to kick off a day.
I know , change the channel , but I have a routine and it includes TLC from 9am and 11am. So , yeah , thats where we are with that.
So I wait here patiently , for TLC to switch up the programming ( they do it often enough, thats how I ended up with the screaming in the background in the first place; I was listening to the Duggars every morning, talk about calm.) , trying to focus on my " work" and not on the audible discomfort of a woman in denial.......