Countdown to Destruction
Pairing: Yoochun-centric, OT5
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst, Drama, Tragedy
Summary: He countdowns the moments to his demise
Disclaimer: I do not own these boys
three.
the smoke in the mirror barely clouds the reflection you hate to see. no matter how hard you try to runaway you can never try to runaway from yourself. you try to be another you- something new and improved and maybe you can be happy with yourself. you try and try but nothing seems to happen, you end up sinking faster than you expect. you may change your hair, the way you dress, the concept or whatever but the fact remains that you are still you-and that's what you hate most of all. you can never be anyone else no matter how hard you try- you keep trying none the less hope that maybe this is the time where in you get to break free from who you are. and you know that it's a lie.
two.
looking around you, you just think how out of place you are. everyone is wonderful except you- you are always the exception and never in a good way. you know you don't belong here, sometimes you feel as if they know it too (they're just too nice to make you go away) they try to reassure you, that you're part of the team but really it seems that it's them that's reassuring themselves. you make music in your room, maybe if you make something nice they'd welcome you- then you'd be part of the team but even you know that's not true. you always feel more alone when you're with them then when you are anywhere else.
one.
providing for your mom and brother has been your top priority but it seems that now you are not needed anymore. they've established themselves, they have their own lives, you've done your part, what now? there really is nothing you can do anymore for them-face it they don't need you anymore. they've moved on with their lives and yet you're still stuck in the past, you're just bringing them down with you and you don't want that. you've given them enough and now you should do them a favor, this is the last thing you can do for them. they're okay, they're okay but you're not-and that's just unfair.
zero.
let's all do them a favor and get rid of yourself, do yourself a favor and get rid of yourself. it's half past two and yet you're still here- everything is slowly fading away though. you hear each second tick, it's so loud and deafening. then you think you hear the faint voices of your team calling out to you. maybe you're seeing them run towards you, screaming but then you're not so sure (you're not so sure of anything anymore). you see red- it's everywhere you wonder where it came from though you probably know already- it is coming from your wrists. you look at all their faces but you can't seem to make it out- they're just splashes of colors and figures moving around. everything around you is going too fast, but you feel as if you're the only one moving in a slow pace-you can never catch up. then the colors begin to mend together, they're mixing, they're changing- everything becomes colorful, too colorful you can't help but close your eyes.
it's dark, it's black, it's death.
here comes nothing.
now is gone.