Myriad Announcements
1. Yes, I'm still alive.
2. Yes, all I do is work. But, my first project is now available as a free download both on the AppStore and Google Play: My Forged Wedding: PARTY. So if you're into romance sim type stuff and want to try it out, I would appreciate it! (There are in-app purchases for extra illustrations and whatnot, but I don't expect anyone to actually buy anything unless you get into it and you want to.)
I personally find it kind of ironic that I am working on these kinds of games that I personally wouldn't play on my own time...and because I do so much of the shitty behind the scenes stuff that makes it "work" and not "playing games all day", I can say that for what it is I think it's a good game, but beyond that I can only be thankful that I don't work on games that I would normally enjoy, because frankly, I don't need help taking the enjoyment out of things I used to like--I'm doing that very well on my own currently.
3. I watched Sailor Moon Crystal, and...I'm disappointed. I don't like the lack of expressiveness in the faces (the exaggerated lower lip looks really fucking strange too), which is what bothers me the most. Usagi deserves more than just being able to make "ooh I'm so pretty" face, "vaguely surprised" face, and "happy" face. It's even stranger because Mitsuishi Kotono is a very expressive voice actress when she does Usagi, and to have the faces/movements not match that is really, really jarring.
Her transformation looks like utter shit, too, thanks to them trying to use that 3D animation bullshit. The transitions between ribbon to clothes looks really choppy (that pause where the computer is like HRRRRNGGGG MUST CHANGE TEXTURESSSS feels like it takes for-fucking EVER), I don't even know what arm movements they were trying to make her do there...just damn. Honestly, I will take the sparkly transformations with gratuitous panty shots that actually had GRACE over whatever the fuck that was. (But I like the stained glass effects they seem to have decided upon, those are pretty.)
I don't know why they basically just copied the origin episode from the anime and went out of their way to change vital parts of the characters on the way (like now, Usagi "meets" Luna by stepping on her, rather than saving her from the group of thugs that put the bandaids on her crescent moon in the first place).
But, from what little we see of Jadeite, he sounds like a badass, so that's good. Give us more of that please.
Though honestly at this point I don't know if I'm being so harsh because I'm so in love with the original, that had a huge part to play in the person I am today, if I'm just seriously depressed and my stupid brain is hell-bent on making it so I enjoy nothing in my life ever again, if I'm just old and jaded and remember when I used to honestly believe that being a good and just person and giving of myself would be enough to give me lasting friendships with people who would offer the same sacrifices to me (I still think it's the right way to live, but going into it believing that people aren't just going to use you for all you're willing to give and then throw you away is not the way to do it--having faith in people is essentially bullshit, as I have learned), or if my critiques are actually warranted and I'm not just talking out my ass as I wave my walkin' stick from my porch and tell these kids to get off my lawn.
I still haven't given up on it though, and I am really hoping they're not going to pussy out and just copy the origin episodes from the anime, because that kind of defeats the purpose of the whole "let's make it closer to the manga" thing that they've been talking about this whole damn time. Hopefully by being able to get comments back in real time (the Japanese fans on NicoNico also seemed pretty incensed that they just copied the first episode of the anime as well, from what I saw) and having two weeks between episodes, they'll be able to go back and at least clean some things up--though sadly, the transformation will always be a disaster because I doubt they will scrap the whole thing and redo it.
I guess my life at this point is still generally just one massive sigh...but I guess it's better than my previous situation where I hated Sundays because I had to go to work the next day as opposed to hating Sundays because I know that all I need is just one or two more days of REST and then I would be fine, and it's really frustrating to almost get there but ending up feeling like shit again.
Though, admittedly, working in Tokyo has made me loathe people more than I already do--they're so rude, they never watch where they're going, and then they give YOU the glare when you dare to just barely dodge out of their way, or when you dare to take offense to getting kicked in the shins on the train or having your seat stolen from you from some asshole who just got on the train (by shoving you into someone else) when you and your weak ankle have been waiting for that shit for the last hour (*). You know that you are a very tired introvert when just the presence of other human beings makes you unspeakably ANGRY for no reason, and that's been happening to me a lot. Especially the fucking tourists who don't keep a leash on their goddamn kids and then they nearly run the fuck into you and have the GALL to glare at YOU like you're the one who doesn't know how to walk.
I just need one more day to be left the fuck ALONE, or at least a day where I get to choose my company.
It's strange, you would think IT work would be filled to the brim with people just like me who want to be left the fuck alone to work, but this doesn't seem to be the case (I hate the fucking Japanese office mind games, too--nothing pisses me off more than the 'give all the work to someone else so you have a fall guy if it fails, take all the credit if it doesn't' gambit that gets passed around. Probably because I am the victim of it a lot, and I am too goddamn honest to play that game and not only feel like utter shit in the attempt, but also not be really transparent about it). It gets really frustrating to always feel like you're two seconds from getting fucked around.
But it's still better than the fuckery they used to try and pull on me when I was teaching, I want to point this out.
Maybe it's just that now my job is actually important, it's more terrifying and galling to be set up for failure...yeah, that's probably what it is. At least people acknowledge that my time is valuable, and when they do ask me to do things in a hurry, I usually do get the person who asked, even if I have never met them (we do most of our communications over IM), coming over to my desk to thank me...so that's nice.
But it's still very, very stressful and extremely draining for someone like me in particular, and sometimes I need to get this stuff out so I don't freak out and regret it later.
Keep on keepin' on, kids.
(*) All this shit happened to me with passengers getting on or off at Shinjuku, Home Station of the Utter Douchebags.
If you want me to go to Shinjuku for some reason and I actually go, I must really fucking like you, because I will literally do anything in my power to avoid that station. If I could avoid going through it in the morning, I would, but I can't.
FUCKING SHINJUKU I HATE YOU.
2. Yes, all I do is work. But, my first project is now available as a free download both on the AppStore and Google Play: My Forged Wedding: PARTY. So if you're into romance sim type stuff and want to try it out, I would appreciate it! (There are in-app purchases for extra illustrations and whatnot, but I don't expect anyone to actually buy anything unless you get into it and you want to.)
I personally find it kind of ironic that I am working on these kinds of games that I personally wouldn't play on my own time...and because I do so much of the shitty behind the scenes stuff that makes it "work" and not "playing games all day", I can say that for what it is I think it's a good game, but beyond that I can only be thankful that I don't work on games that I would normally enjoy, because frankly, I don't need help taking the enjoyment out of things I used to like--I'm doing that very well on my own currently.
3. I watched Sailor Moon Crystal, and...I'm disappointed. I don't like the lack of expressiveness in the faces (the exaggerated lower lip looks really fucking strange too), which is what bothers me the most. Usagi deserves more than just being able to make "ooh I'm so pretty" face, "vaguely surprised" face, and "happy" face. It's even stranger because Mitsuishi Kotono is a very expressive voice actress when she does Usagi, and to have the faces/movements not match that is really, really jarring.
Her transformation looks like utter shit, too, thanks to them trying to use that 3D animation bullshit. The transitions between ribbon to clothes looks really choppy (that pause where the computer is like HRRRRNGGGG MUST CHANGE TEXTURESSSS feels like it takes for-fucking EVER), I don't even know what arm movements they were trying to make her do there...just damn. Honestly, I will take the sparkly transformations with gratuitous panty shots that actually had GRACE over whatever the fuck that was. (But I like the stained glass effects they seem to have decided upon, those are pretty.)
I don't know why they basically just copied the origin episode from the anime and went out of their way to change vital parts of the characters on the way (like now, Usagi "meets" Luna by stepping on her, rather than saving her from the group of thugs that put the bandaids on her crescent moon in the first place).
But, from what little we see of Jadeite, he sounds like a badass, so that's good. Give us more of that please.
Though honestly at this point I don't know if I'm being so harsh because I'm so in love with the original, that had a huge part to play in the person I am today, if I'm just seriously depressed and my stupid brain is hell-bent on making it so I enjoy nothing in my life ever again, if I'm just old and jaded and remember when I used to honestly believe that being a good and just person and giving of myself would be enough to give me lasting friendships with people who would offer the same sacrifices to me (I still think it's the right way to live, but going into it believing that people aren't just going to use you for all you're willing to give and then throw you away is not the way to do it--having faith in people is essentially bullshit, as I have learned), or if my critiques are actually warranted and I'm not just talking out my ass as I wave my walkin' stick from my porch and tell these kids to get off my lawn.
I still haven't given up on it though, and I am really hoping they're not going to pussy out and just copy the origin episodes from the anime, because that kind of defeats the purpose of the whole "let's make it closer to the manga" thing that they've been talking about this whole damn time. Hopefully by being able to get comments back in real time (the Japanese fans on NicoNico also seemed pretty incensed that they just copied the first episode of the anime as well, from what I saw) and having two weeks between episodes, they'll be able to go back and at least clean some things up--though sadly, the transformation will always be a disaster because I doubt they will scrap the whole thing and redo it.
I guess my life at this point is still generally just one massive sigh...but I guess it's better than my previous situation where I hated Sundays because I had to go to work the next day as opposed to hating Sundays because I know that all I need is just one or two more days of REST and then I would be fine, and it's really frustrating to almost get there but ending up feeling like shit again.
Though, admittedly, working in Tokyo has made me loathe people more than I already do--they're so rude, they never watch where they're going, and then they give YOU the glare when you dare to just barely dodge out of their way, or when you dare to take offense to getting kicked in the shins on the train or having your seat stolen from you from some asshole who just got on the train (by shoving you into someone else) when you and your weak ankle have been waiting for that shit for the last hour (*). You know that you are a very tired introvert when just the presence of other human beings makes you unspeakably ANGRY for no reason, and that's been happening to me a lot. Especially the fucking tourists who don't keep a leash on their goddamn kids and then they nearly run the fuck into you and have the GALL to glare at YOU like you're the one who doesn't know how to walk.
I just need one more day to be left the fuck ALONE, or at least a day where I get to choose my company.
It's strange, you would think IT work would be filled to the brim with people just like me who want to be left the fuck alone to work, but this doesn't seem to be the case (I hate the fucking Japanese office mind games, too--nothing pisses me off more than the 'give all the work to someone else so you have a fall guy if it fails, take all the credit if it doesn't' gambit that gets passed around. Probably because I am the victim of it a lot, and I am too goddamn honest to play that game and not only feel like utter shit in the attempt, but also not be really transparent about it). It gets really frustrating to always feel like you're two seconds from getting fucked around.
But it's still better than the fuckery they used to try and pull on me when I was teaching, I want to point this out.
Maybe it's just that now my job is actually important, it's more terrifying and galling to be set up for failure...yeah, that's probably what it is. At least people acknowledge that my time is valuable, and when they do ask me to do things in a hurry, I usually do get the person who asked, even if I have never met them (we do most of our communications over IM), coming over to my desk to thank me...so that's nice.
But it's still very, very stressful and extremely draining for someone like me in particular, and sometimes I need to get this stuff out so I don't freak out and regret it later.
Keep on keepin' on, kids.
(*) All this shit happened to me with passengers getting on or off at Shinjuku, Home Station of the Utter Douchebags.
If you want me to go to Shinjuku for some reason and I actually go, I must really fucking like you, because I will literally do anything in my power to avoid that station. If I could avoid going through it in the morning, I would, but I can't.
FUCKING SHINJUKU I HATE YOU.