On Friday last week I got fired from my job - the job I've been trying to quit for about a month. My supervisor said that because they knew I was looking for a new job anyway, they might as well let me go now; and I can't say I was overly disappointed. I made my Donald Trump face and did the 'you're fired' python thing with my hand to try to ( Read more... )

Things I can't do at my desk when I'm sharing my office with the Commercial Manager for the day:

• Look at porn
• Shut the door and eat copious amounts of donuts
• Talk to myself
• Give myself a manicure
• Use the phone to place follow-up calls for jobs I've applied for
  

"People" who have sent spam to my work email address:

• Heinwise Coole
• Books Tricks
• IraqPM York
• CD Johnathan
• Porntip

An Open Letter to: Myself

Dear Self,

I don't know if it's because the weather is really nice, or because you've just bought Bridget Jones's Diary on DVD, or even because you have a two-week break from everything beginning tomorrow; but I need you to acknowledge that it is still Friday, it is only three o'clock and you will not be done with work of ( Read more... )

Things People Could Do To Make My Life A Lot Easier

• Answer their phone
• Check their email
• Respond to text messages
• Realise that by not doing any of the above, they are slowly moving to the bottom of my 'never speak to again' list

Last night I had a dream that Nicole Richie and Lindsay Lohan worked at Burger King, along with Mr. P and another girl I work with at the theatre. Insert your own joke here ( Read more... )

Titles of emails sent between three people on the 24th of January:

• [none]
• RE:
• a list
• OH&S
• Fw:

Whee, I got the job. My title is officially Artistic Director.

Quite a while ago, I told you about my uncle whose wife left him without warning and took their two children. Well, only recently the children came back in to his life (minus the wife, who nobody really misses). The girl, whose name is Trashy Sluttington, had a baby about a year ago. She's a charming little girl, we all love her, etcetera (the ( Read more... )

Phrases found in online job ads that make me question whether or not I actually want the job:

• "Have some faith."
• "This is not a position for a long copy writer."
• "This full-time position includes...endless coffee-making."
• "Please send your resume to [emailaddress] RIGHT NOW!! please."
• "Be truely valued? & work in a fun, relaxed but ( Read more... )