I want more.
I always feel kind of stupid writting in my livejournal. It's not private, its just who wants to read this stuff really?
Every song that comes on makes me feel so nostalgic and sad. I wish it was 2004. I miss playing in an exciting group so much. I am trying to keep it up, but all I am playing right now are scales and techniques exercies. I need to play in a good group to really keep my chops in shape. I joined the Beaverton community band, and that'll be ok I guess. Everyone is over 50, which wouldnt be a problem but they treated me like some strange novelty at the first rehearsal I went to. It was like hey look, a young tuba player, now our section is twice as attractive. I always forget how wierd tubists are when I haven't been around any for a while. Really I am just trying not to miss corps too much. I can't deal with the staff and their stupid mind games and personality problems though. And I have two jobs. That. I start training next week in the lab at the hospital. I was supposed to start today but there was an orientation screw up. So now I'll still be training when I am doing my other job running the summer karate camps. I get to either work two jobs per day or weekends. Oh fun. But I'll have money. I want to get nice furniture for my apartment or house next year and put a bunch away in the bank if possible. I also really want a cat, there was an add in the paper for siamese/himalayan/ragdoll kitties. But I'll wait till the school year so I can be around it, I can't have one at home. I know it isnt wierd being at home in the summer in college but I feel kind of stupid. I was shopping with my mom and ran into some guy from swing dancing. It was a bit awkward, like hey, I shop with my mom and I'm almost 21. Yay for me! I've been feeling something hanging over me lately, but I guess its just that I don't have anything to really work at lately. I feel like everything I need in life comes to me too easily. Most people wouldn't complain, but I just feel like I want more. More what I don't know. A worthy challange I guess. I have everything I really need, but it feels like it comes too easily so I am settling for less somehow. It will be better when I'm not just killing time. At least I am going to Salem tommorow to hang out with Howard, so that should be fun.
Every song that comes on makes me feel so nostalgic and sad. I wish it was 2004. I miss playing in an exciting group so much. I am trying to keep it up, but all I am playing right now are scales and techniques exercies. I need to play in a good group to really keep my chops in shape. I joined the Beaverton community band, and that'll be ok I guess. Everyone is over 50, which wouldnt be a problem but they treated me like some strange novelty at the first rehearsal I went to. It was like hey look, a young tuba player, now our section is twice as attractive. I always forget how wierd tubists are when I haven't been around any for a while. Really I am just trying not to miss corps too much. I can't deal with the staff and their stupid mind games and personality problems though. And I have two jobs. That. I start training next week in the lab at the hospital. I was supposed to start today but there was an orientation screw up. So now I'll still be training when I am doing my other job running the summer karate camps. I get to either work two jobs per day or weekends. Oh fun. But I'll have money. I want to get nice furniture for my apartment or house next year and put a bunch away in the bank if possible. I also really want a cat, there was an add in the paper for siamese/himalayan/ragdoll kitties. But I'll wait till the school year so I can be around it, I can't have one at home. I know it isnt wierd being at home in the summer in college but I feel kind of stupid. I was shopping with my mom and ran into some guy from swing dancing. It was a bit awkward, like hey, I shop with my mom and I'm almost 21. Yay for me! I've been feeling something hanging over me lately, but I guess its just that I don't have anything to really work at lately. I feel like everything I need in life comes to me too easily. Most people wouldn't complain, but I just feel like I want more. More what I don't know. A worthy challange I guess. I have everything I really need, but it feels like it comes too easily so I am settling for less somehow. It will be better when I'm not just killing time. At least I am going to Salem tommorow to hang out with Howard, so that should be fun.