They can't get enough of that doomsday song
this is me venting and processing emotions, in a dark space, and also in one of the harsher places of my hormonal cycle. please do not take this personally, and feel free to skip if you are feeling vulnerable right now.
In the run-up to our mailing out a new years card [time is very fuzzy], I've been contacting a fair number of folks I have not spoken to in too long. It's been great to touch base with them, but i notice a fair many seem surprised when i answer the how have things been going with awful, and reference the regression and ruin our world seems to be dancing with.
how is this not relevant? how can people compartmentalize to such a degree that this does not color their day to day life? I'm not offended by it [well, most of me is not], but genuinely shocked and confused.
and, yes, angry, i suppose, as well. perhaps i'm just trying to not be angry, as these are people i value. but this IS our life. literally, our lifeblood. i can't close my eyes, hope no one i love personally suffers and/or dies because of this, and ignore the rest. but it appears many people's coping mechanisms allow for that. and maybe that's good, somehow, but it's hard for me to see it.
perhaps i'm being too harsh, but it's hard not to see this as part of why we are where we are. if more people forced themselves to have empathy; to at least once a day, look at the hard things, the depressing, scary things, maybe there would have been more activity, more knowledge forced down others's throats. but likely not. i know there are so many factors at play. our brains, how they work, how easy it is to be manipulated, and only see a narrow tunnel of your life's problems.
i also find escape in fiction and fashion and creativity and dreams. i do not only stare at the dark spots, but i also make sure i am, at least some of the time.
meh. i'm sure i'm being simplistic and judgmental, and i'm working on that, but it's where i am right now, and i think it's helpful to sometimes write through that
/vent
in happier news: Mark keeps trying to tempt me over into the fancy notebook and fountain pen crowd. i keep running out of excuses to say not now. so that might be a thing that happens when we have more stability in income [hopefully soon], and our moratorium on spending money is lifted a bit.
been spending more time processing photos again. i need to stop pausing on that for months at a time. it's no good on many levels. expect some photos with new years card. do not expect much in the way of a year end letter because doom. art and photos, more of. depressing words, less of.
looking forward to making enchiladas this afternoon, and canning a ridiculous number of sprouted beans in a new, larger pressure canner my chosen family/in laws gifted me for Giftmas.
likely going to make dhal tomorrow. even though it was so warm yesterday, Im still craving comfort winter type foods [in my schema, i realize enchiladas and dhal are warm weather food too :P but stir fries and salads are usually my warm weather go tos].
I may try to post some of the 'recipe' for what i cook here. i'm never sure how helpful that is to others, as mostly my habits are: looking ~5 recipes of the thing im interested in, see what i have on hand, or what i'm feeling, then throw things together. but still happy to share, could be fun.
This entry was originally posted at http://kailing.dreamwidth.org/9133.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
In the run-up to our mailing out a new years card [time is very fuzzy], I've been contacting a fair number of folks I have not spoken to in too long. It's been great to touch base with them, but i notice a fair many seem surprised when i answer the how have things been going with awful, and reference the regression and ruin our world seems to be dancing with.
how is this not relevant? how can people compartmentalize to such a degree that this does not color their day to day life? I'm not offended by it [well, most of me is not], but genuinely shocked and confused.
and, yes, angry, i suppose, as well. perhaps i'm just trying to not be angry, as these are people i value. but this IS our life. literally, our lifeblood. i can't close my eyes, hope no one i love personally suffers and/or dies because of this, and ignore the rest. but it appears many people's coping mechanisms allow for that. and maybe that's good, somehow, but it's hard for me to see it.
perhaps i'm being too harsh, but it's hard not to see this as part of why we are where we are. if more people forced themselves to have empathy; to at least once a day, look at the hard things, the depressing, scary things, maybe there would have been more activity, more knowledge forced down others's throats. but likely not. i know there are so many factors at play. our brains, how they work, how easy it is to be manipulated, and only see a narrow tunnel of your life's problems.
i also find escape in fiction and fashion and creativity and dreams. i do not only stare at the dark spots, but i also make sure i am, at least some of the time.
meh. i'm sure i'm being simplistic and judgmental, and i'm working on that, but it's where i am right now, and i think it's helpful to sometimes write through that
/vent
in happier news: Mark keeps trying to tempt me over into the fancy notebook and fountain pen crowd. i keep running out of excuses to say not now. so that might be a thing that happens when we have more stability in income [hopefully soon], and our moratorium on spending money is lifted a bit.
been spending more time processing photos again. i need to stop pausing on that for months at a time. it's no good on many levels. expect some photos with new years card. do not expect much in the way of a year end letter because doom. art and photos, more of. depressing words, less of.
looking forward to making enchiladas this afternoon, and canning a ridiculous number of sprouted beans in a new, larger pressure canner my chosen family/in laws gifted me for Giftmas.
likely going to make dhal tomorrow. even though it was so warm yesterday, Im still craving comfort winter type foods [in my schema, i realize enchiladas and dhal are warm weather food too :P but stir fries and salads are usually my warm weather go tos].
I may try to post some of the 'recipe' for what i cook here. i'm never sure how helpful that is to others, as mostly my habits are: looking ~5 recipes of the thing im interested in, see what i have on hand, or what i'm feeling, then throw things together. but still happy to share, could be fun.
This entry was originally posted at http://kailing.dreamwidth.org/9133.html. Please comment there using OpenID.