What.
Well Lexshay is my Org. XIII name and I wrote this at like 11:00 last night so it's crappy XigbarxOc DISCLAIMER I DO NOT OWN KINGDOM HEARTS If I did there wouldn't be Sora and Riku and Kairi!
Wouldn't you all love to play a game starring no one, who battles heartless while searching for his non-existent friends no one and no one? My favorite part is when no one storms into Hollow Bastion in an attempt to get nobody to snap out of his being controlled by Xehanort. And when no one stabs himself with a Keyblade, releasing nothing from his heart? Genius! But that scene where Demyx gets the crap beat out of him by thin air...so tragic. And Castle Oblivion! Empty space manipulates the memories of nothing, while Vexen dies just before revealing to a random bush about the existance of-yeah, you get the picture. But let's get to the fic.
Which, by the way, is a solid wall of text. A solid wall of text that begins thusly:
''They're dying!" a stiffled cry emmited from the blonde who was kneeling next to his fishtank. A short, medium length brown haired girl with cat ears and tail put her arms around the blonde, hushing his crys. "Demyx, they'll be alright. Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Go to sleep.'' she whispered. After an hour of this he had cryed himself to sleep, the girl hoisted him into bed and left wiping tears from her cheek. She was stopped near the balcony by the newest member, a pink haired man called Marluxia. He cornered her and threatened her untill she slumped to the ground yelling for help weakly. The erie glow of Kingdom Hearts shown down on the silver haired Superior, Xemnas, looking extremely angry.
1. You made your Sue a catgirl. Not only did you provide no justification for that, but making your sue a catgirl is so unoriginal that most Suthors don't do it anymore.
2. What are "wiping tears", and why did she give them to Demyx?
3. "Hushing his crys"?
4. We know Marluxia's hair is pink. Saying it seems a bit redundant.
5. I know Lake Erie isn't exactly pristine, but it doesn't glow.
6. Do you describe everyone solely by hair color?
The fic continues with Xemnas telling off Marluxia, Xigbar showing her around TWTNW the next day, and...
He had learned that her true name was Ashley and that she, like Zexion, loved books. She also had a fear of semataries and dogs. She had recieved her weeapon, a large pistol. Simple but powerful. Over the last couple of weeks his liking turned to love, but he had no idea how to tell her. How would she react? Should he just kiss her? Xigbar had no idea...untill she walked into the room. "Hey Xigba-...!!'' Lexshay was cut off by Xigbar who had grabbed her and kissed her. ''How does that make you feel? ...Lexshay ...I love you...'' The girl growled and chased him around untill she caught him (which wasn't long) She laughed for a while and said happily "I love ya too Xiggy'
FIN.
FIN.
Since "British Tea" is only in the 6th grade, there's a chance she'll improve over time. But she has a ton of work to do to become a decent author.
And yeah, sorry this isn't funny.