Plot fail.
Dear Author,
I'm reading your HPxKH fic! Yes, yours! There's lots about it I like. It's Cleon (stfu it's my crack pairing), for example. You make lots of Merlin jokes. (Specifically, the "Merlin's Beard!" "....We live with Merlin" joke.) And you set it during Order of the Phoenix, and made Cloud and Leon the DADA professors, thus getting rid of Umbridge. Your characterization is nice, and the Leon/Cloud development is...Well, believe-able, for lack of a better word.
You even put Riku in Gryffindor! I've seen it happen too much where they put him in Slytherin. And he'd be in Gryffindor, because, well, if I remember it correctly, he went through all he did TO FIND SORA AND KAIRI. Right? Thus LOYALTY and BRAVERY for his FRIENDS, RISKING HIS LIFE. Now, how many Slytherins do you know would do that? HUH?
.....But I have four problems with your fanfic:
1) Professors McGonagall and Sprout would ABSOLUTLY NOT fangirl over Leon and Cloud. The thought of it is just......It makes me keyboard smash. Also, you wrote about them having a conversation about who would top, and make the first move. o___o I don't know enough about Sprout, but McGonagall would definitely not talk about that. AND NEITHER WOULD DUMBLEDORE. Look, I know he's gay, but seriously?
2) You ripped a few lines from the books. Word for word. Don't think I didn't notice. I've read them all ATLEAST 5 times each. PLAGERISM IS NOT COOL. JKR would not approve.
3) You haven't included The Order yet! This saddens me. Most of the events you write about are somewhat canonical to the HP5 plot, but the main events of it haven't occurred yet...That kinda worries me. Have you actually READ the books?
4) You had Sephiroth and Voldemort team up. ....Somehow I doubt that Sephiroth would take Voldemort's orders....
A bit of love,
Me
Hey guys? Was that too..oh, gosh, what's the word..clear as to what fic I'm ranting about? Isn't there a rule about that somewhere? Thaanks~~
I'm reading your HPxKH fic! Yes, yours! There's lots about it I like. It's Cleon (stfu it's my crack pairing), for example. You make lots of Merlin jokes. (Specifically, the "Merlin's Beard!" "....We live with Merlin" joke.) And you set it during Order of the Phoenix, and made Cloud and Leon the DADA professors, thus getting rid of Umbridge. Your characterization is nice, and the Leon/Cloud development is...Well, believe-able, for lack of a better word.
You even put Riku in Gryffindor! I've seen it happen too much where they put him in Slytherin. And he'd be in Gryffindor, because, well, if I remember it correctly, he went through all he did TO FIND SORA AND KAIRI. Right? Thus LOYALTY and BRAVERY for his FRIENDS, RISKING HIS LIFE. Now, how many Slytherins do you know would do that? HUH?
.....But I have four problems with your fanfic:
1) Professors McGonagall and Sprout would ABSOLUTLY NOT fangirl over Leon and Cloud. The thought of it is just......It makes me keyboard smash. Also, you wrote about them having a conversation about who would top, and make the first move. o___o I don't know enough about Sprout, but McGonagall would definitely not talk about that. AND NEITHER WOULD DUMBLEDORE. Look, I know he's gay, but seriously?
2) You ripped a few lines from the books. Word for word. Don't think I didn't notice. I've read them all ATLEAST 5 times each. PLAGERISM IS NOT COOL. JKR would not approve.
3) You haven't included The Order yet! This saddens me. Most of the events you write about are somewhat canonical to the HP5 plot, but the main events of it haven't occurred yet...That kinda worries me. Have you actually READ the books?
4) You had Sephiroth and Voldemort team up. ....Somehow I doubt that Sephiroth would take Voldemort's orders....
A bit of love,
Me
Hey guys? Was that too..oh, gosh, what's the word..clear as to what fic I'm ranting about? Isn't there a rule about that somewhere? Thaanks~~