race-related: two things
1. Since wearing my hair in dreadlocks I get noticeably more attention from black men. None of it negative, though some of it dubious.
Today, as I was walking home from the library, with the Smallest in the stroller, a very black man with a light accent leaned out his van window and said, "Good afternoon, Empress! How are you today?" and drove on after I nodded with a hint of smile. Empress? o_O That's a new one. I'll try not to let it go to my head.
Most of the rest of the men think I'm a Rasta and mention something about Jah, which is to be expected, given the neighbourhood I live in (just south of Caribbean Town).
2. I have always liked Erykah Badu. If I had to pinpoint why, I would say that it's because I feel she does her own thing and doesn't back down. A rarity in this world, and apparently, even more so for black women.
Recently, I was scanning this incredibly awesome blog that outcastspice pointed me to weeks ago, for which I never thanked her. This is my thank you!
The blog is called Anti-Racist Parent, and the entry that really made an impact is titled Black Motherhood: The Womb of the World.
It begins with this: One of the least valuable people on the planet is a black mother. Her gender and her race make her invisible unless an opportunity exists to exploit or marginalize her for gain. She is perceived as little more than a brood mare and often constructed as reproducing for the sake of either profiting from the system or trapping a man into subservience to her. Each generation she passes this legacy from her womb to her offspring and no matter her love or investment in her children, she is forever understood as lacking the wherewithal to raise responsible and successful citizens.
And goes on to discuss the Mammy/Jezebel dichotomy (rather similar to the Madonna/Whore dichotomy but with significant, ongoing repercussions in the black community). The author mentions the world reaction to unmarried Angelina Jolie versus the reaction to unmarried Erykah Badu:
When we place Jolie next to Erykah Badu; the black white binary reveals whose motherhood is valued. Badu as a successful artist is more than capable of caring financially for her children and yet her unmarried status is understood as problematic. She has been slut shamed in the court of public opinion with some going as far as to suggest that she needs to close her legs and take care of the children that she already has. How does her continued reproduction suggest that she is an unfit mother? The issue is never maternity, the issue is the race of the mother.
I clicked on the link to the 'court of public opinion' and was absolutely dumbfounded by what I read. If you have a chance, read the whole thing. I'm just astounded. I have far greater respect for Badu now than I ever did. If she were white, she would Never Ever Ever have to deal with this sort of community-based reaction to what she does and how she lives her life.
It makes me think of a woman I met last summer. Black, dreadlocked hair, into natural parenting, co-sleeping, extended breastfeeding, veganism, the whole bit. She told me the reaction she got from her friends when she said she was 'locking up' (putting her hair in dreadlocks) and wouldn't be straightening her hair anymore. She said they FLIPPED OUT on her and went absolutely CRAZY! I couldn't understand that sort of reaction but I sympathized. And she told me things just got worse when she stopped eating meat and started losing weight. Her women friends and relatives told her she'd never get a man looking like that (she did). After reading the commentary regarding Erykah Badu's letter, I understand So Much More about what my friend went through. And I just don't get that sort of response.
Today, as I was walking home from the library, with the Smallest in the stroller, a very black man with a light accent leaned out his van window and said, "Good afternoon, Empress! How are you today?" and drove on after I nodded with a hint of smile. Empress? o_O That's a new one. I'll try not to let it go to my head.
Most of the rest of the men think I'm a Rasta and mention something about Jah, which is to be expected, given the neighbourhood I live in (just south of Caribbean Town).
2. I have always liked Erykah Badu. If I had to pinpoint why, I would say that it's because I feel she does her own thing and doesn't back down. A rarity in this world, and apparently, even more so for black women.
Recently, I was scanning this incredibly awesome blog that outcastspice pointed me to weeks ago, for which I never thanked her. This is my thank you!
The blog is called Anti-Racist Parent, and the entry that really made an impact is titled Black Motherhood: The Womb of the World.
It begins with this: One of the least valuable people on the planet is a black mother. Her gender and her race make her invisible unless an opportunity exists to exploit or marginalize her for gain. She is perceived as little more than a brood mare and often constructed as reproducing for the sake of either profiting from the system or trapping a man into subservience to her. Each generation she passes this legacy from her womb to her offspring and no matter her love or investment in her children, she is forever understood as lacking the wherewithal to raise responsible and successful citizens.
And goes on to discuss the Mammy/Jezebel dichotomy (rather similar to the Madonna/Whore dichotomy but with significant, ongoing repercussions in the black community). The author mentions the world reaction to unmarried Angelina Jolie versus the reaction to unmarried Erykah Badu:
When we place Jolie next to Erykah Badu; the black white binary reveals whose motherhood is valued. Badu as a successful artist is more than capable of caring financially for her children and yet her unmarried status is understood as problematic. She has been slut shamed in the court of public opinion with some going as far as to suggest that she needs to close her legs and take care of the children that she already has. How does her continued reproduction suggest that she is an unfit mother? The issue is never maternity, the issue is the race of the mother.
I clicked on the link to the 'court of public opinion' and was absolutely dumbfounded by what I read. If you have a chance, read the whole thing. I'm just astounded. I have far greater respect for Badu now than I ever did. If she were white, she would Never Ever Ever have to deal with this sort of community-based reaction to what she does and how she lives her life.
It makes me think of a woman I met last summer. Black, dreadlocked hair, into natural parenting, co-sleeping, extended breastfeeding, veganism, the whole bit. She told me the reaction she got from her friends when she said she was 'locking up' (putting her hair in dreadlocks) and wouldn't be straightening her hair anymore. She said they FLIPPED OUT on her and went absolutely CRAZY! I couldn't understand that sort of reaction but I sympathized. And she told me things just got worse when she stopped eating meat and started losing weight. Her women friends and relatives told her she'd never get a man looking like that (she did). After reading the commentary regarding Erykah Badu's letter, I understand So Much More about what my friend went through. And I just don't get that sort of response.