I'm feeling better. still pissed at the world though -bleh
I drove around for a good hour and a half today. Driving is like taking a shower -it's therapy. just you and the road, you have to focus on what you're doing even as your mind wanders and you're able to really think about what's going on in your life or things that just wander past your mind's eye. i needed that drive though. Gas prices suck royally, so i'll probably regret that driving in about a week, but hey; i needed it for emotional and spiritual reasons. that and i just needed to get away from my sister >.< GAH!
She's getting all wishy-washy again. She told that if she moved back in she would straighten up her act, not hang around her friends that were screwing her over and all that crap; and she would go to church with us. what's the first thing she does this morning? she blows off church and goes to the jail to visit a friend of hers... -.-` Nice...
and Hailee cried when her dad came to get her. Steve came to the door and she did say "hi!" to him, but then when she saw her coat; looked at her dad; then back to her coat, she then looked right at her dad and said "Bye-bye!" like she wanted him to go away. then Amanda started to get Hailee's coat on and she cried and looked at her dad and was like "bye?" andi could just see her thinking; 'i don't wanna go! go away! go away! nooooo!! i'm not going with HIM!' and i nearly cried myself. she hugged me so tightly when i said bye to her. ;.; at least it's only for an overnight visit. but next week he gets her for four days ;.; i hate this. i wish he'd just die. it'd make life easier. *sighs* wish it was that simple. i want her to know her dad... i want her to have a relationship with the other half of her family.... just so she knows just how screwed up they are and will come to realize they are idiots -.-
hmmm... for the writing group i'm in, this month's assignment is "put the lime in the coconut" .... ^_^ i made it up. teehee, it's my turn this month. i just don't know what i'm going to do with it ;.;
I made my very first beaded necklace a few weeks ago. it has large purple stones with smaller round green beads between them. i really like how it turned out. and the colors compliment each other. it was kinda fun to do and i'd like to learn how to do that. i'd like to learn to do a lot of things. but that's a trait a like about myself. i like learning about things. i don't like to just be content with where i am.
and i like that FullMetal Alchemist song -Undelible Sin (or Unerasable Sin as i've found it's also called) it's fun to dance too, teehee ^_^
hopefully march will be a better month. maybe it's because February is 'Singles Awareness Month' for me. always rather depressing. ... crap. my mom's birthday is next month... so is my sisters.. -.- well.. my mom is definately getting a gift. i'll try to get one for my sis, but it'll probably just be a giftcard cause she'll return anything else anyway.
i think that's it for now. i just really want everything to be a bit more smooth for a while. i know it's not going to be; but i can hope and i'll try.
~Mel
She's getting all wishy-washy again. She told that if she moved back in she would straighten up her act, not hang around her friends that were screwing her over and all that crap; and she would go to church with us. what's the first thing she does this morning? she blows off church and goes to the jail to visit a friend of hers... -.-` Nice...
and Hailee cried when her dad came to get her. Steve came to the door and she did say "hi!" to him, but then when she saw her coat; looked at her dad; then back to her coat, she then looked right at her dad and said "Bye-bye!" like she wanted him to go away. then Amanda started to get Hailee's coat on and she cried and looked at her dad and was like "bye?" andi could just see her thinking; 'i don't wanna go! go away! go away! nooooo!! i'm not going with HIM!' and i nearly cried myself. she hugged me so tightly when i said bye to her. ;.; at least it's only for an overnight visit. but next week he gets her for four days ;.; i hate this. i wish he'd just die. it'd make life easier. *sighs* wish it was that simple. i want her to know her dad... i want her to have a relationship with the other half of her family.... just so she knows just how screwed up they are and will come to realize they are idiots -.-
hmmm... for the writing group i'm in, this month's assignment is "put the lime in the coconut" .... ^_^ i made it up. teehee, it's my turn this month. i just don't know what i'm going to do with it ;.;
I made my very first beaded necklace a few weeks ago. it has large purple stones with smaller round green beads between them. i really like how it turned out. and the colors compliment each other. it was kinda fun to do and i'd like to learn how to do that. i'd like to learn to do a lot of things. but that's a trait a like about myself. i like learning about things. i don't like to just be content with where i am.
and i like that FullMetal Alchemist song -Undelible Sin (or Unerasable Sin as i've found it's also called) it's fun to dance too, teehee ^_^
hopefully march will be a better month. maybe it's because February is 'Singles Awareness Month' for me. always rather depressing. ... crap. my mom's birthday is next month... so is my sisters.. -.- well.. my mom is definately getting a gift. i'll try to get one for my sis, but it'll probably just be a giftcard cause she'll return anything else anyway.
i think that's it for now. i just really want everything to be a bit more smooth for a while. i know it's not going to be; but i can hope and i'll try.
~Mel