updates and a lot of *itching. don't read if you want your soul to survive
okay, so it's official. my sister is pregnant again..... -.- yeah, that's what the cruddy poem... rant... thing was the last poast. I was upset because i found out. But i basically wanted to know for sure so i waited a few weeks to see... and yeah.. it's true.
so needless to say i've felt like crap about her... again... i kept worrying over how she was going to take care of THIS kid and all that... money and her bumping another kid off on us to take care of while she runs off to play. but i found out that she is going to give the baby up for adoption. so i'm starting to feel better about the situation. she's still disowned in my mind; i know it's harsh; and I sometimes like her as a person... but it's so hard. There aret imes i just don't want to deal with it.
Like today; she was putting Hailee down for a nap at like noon. And i told her "Eeh, i don't think she's go down. She normally goes down at about 1 or 2 when she's here." and she looked at me, gave me this glare that i've never seen before and spat at me with: "WEll i think i know my DAUGHTER better than YOU!" and i just sorta blinked and was amazed -that's the second time she's said that to me; but both times I was just saying "i think". and she flipped on me. and i couldn't hold it in. I told her, "Fine." And i slammed the cupboard door shut, put the milk away and went downstairs and didn't go back up till about 5. I just couldn't believe she said that when I was just commenting.
I don't know. i bite my tongue alot when i'm around her. i let "fine" slip out, but i did hold back "Then take care of her! Don't dump her off on us and leave for hours on end to play with your friends when YOUR daughter is here with us!" i don't mind taking care of Hailee, i love being with her. But her mother is so selfish and irresponsible that she doesn't think 'well if i'm not with my daughter, then someone else is taking care of her.'
okay... i just don't like her sometimes. alot of the time actually. i tried too when she moved back in... oh yeah... she moved back in with the family. *sighs* yeah... but anyway... i'm trying. but it's hard. i remember now why i avoided her when she did live here when she was younger.
bleh. i don't know. i'm trying to draw a lot more. And i'm forcing myself to do my realistic drawings more. i did one of Richard that i really like. and i'm trying to work on Kree right now. i don't know if I can do this one simply because the angle of her face is one i've never done before. so i might have to do a few test runs before i do the real deal. i'll figure it out.
uh, oh! i got new glasses ^-^ yay! i can see again! they are the frame-less kind -a whole $337.28 worth of glasses >.< gah! but it's worth it. they sorta have a square shape to them and have thicker ear-rests on them that are an amber-brown color (sorta see through in the light...) yeah. i like them. and i don't mind wearing them like i did with my other glasses. the ones i lost and then found two days ago in a drawer in the back room of the laundry room >.< tis my luck.
hmmm... and work is starting to suck royaly. gah! i just found out today that if we -the employees- don't sell more member cards, we could have raises with-held, pay-cuts and all sorts of crap like that. even though the manager i was talking too i nodded and said i understood and that i was still trying very hard to sell cards... in the back of my mind I was having a fit. REALLY, when you get right down to it, you can't force people to buy something they don't want!!! and there just aren't that many people in Idaho dangit! they don't seem to believe when I tell them that you just can't sell it to someone if they say no. For me as a customer, if someone pushes me to buy something, i resist more and then i don't go back for several months just to screw them over. so i don't push people when they say "no, not right now." the most i'll do is saying, "All right, i'll stick this brochure in your bag so if you want to read up on it, you can" and then smile and tell them to have a good day and hand them their crap. the only way we can sell more member cards, is if we place a gun to their heads and make them buy it or their life. you know? *sighs* if this crap keeps up... i don't know... i just need to go to college.
i'm sooo soddin' lazy! and college is something that i'm lazy about; and i don't know why! i shouldn't be! ...bleh. i feel like complaining tonight -.-` luckily i get the next two days off, but i have writers block and I just want to read my books that i ordered from amazon that were frickin' released the -15- of this month and still haven't gotten here! ... and my stupid credit card bill is going to suck next month. in retaliation to not getting my books from Amazon... i bought more dvd crap -.- yeah... that'll teach them. gah.
i should just shut up now.
but yeah. other than my glasses and the picture of Richard... life sucks right now yet it's still good in a strange way. oh yeah, and I admit to having fallen into another geek spawned anime - Fullmetal Alchemist is actaully a VERY good anime. i recomend it simply because i like how they use the science as an absolute and yet it's a very unique and different plot with two brothers. i like it so far. And i like how they went into the backstory after the second episode. i hate finding out about their past in like -episode 24 out of 26 episode season. and Evangelion sucks. i don't care what people say, it sucks. i was getting into it and then the last two episodes were crap with no redeeming qualities. even the director's cut versions didn't improve them any. don't watch it. it sucks. if you do watch it. end it at episode 24 and say he saved the world, the end. at least then the series will feel more resolved. gah.
... yeah... Fullmetal Alchemist is good. watch it.
and i got to do my writing assignment... and i need to think of a book for next months sci-fi book club thing Barnes and Noble assigned me. ... bugger -.-
~Mel
so needless to say i've felt like crap about her... again... i kept worrying over how she was going to take care of THIS kid and all that... money and her bumping another kid off on us to take care of while she runs off to play. but i found out that she is going to give the baby up for adoption. so i'm starting to feel better about the situation. she's still disowned in my mind; i know it's harsh; and I sometimes like her as a person... but it's so hard. There aret imes i just don't want to deal with it.
Like today; she was putting Hailee down for a nap at like noon. And i told her "Eeh, i don't think she's go down. She normally goes down at about 1 or 2 when she's here." and she looked at me, gave me this glare that i've never seen before and spat at me with: "WEll i think i know my DAUGHTER better than YOU!" and i just sorta blinked and was amazed -that's the second time she's said that to me; but both times I was just saying "i think". and she flipped on me. and i couldn't hold it in. I told her, "Fine." And i slammed the cupboard door shut, put the milk away and went downstairs and didn't go back up till about 5. I just couldn't believe she said that when I was just commenting.
I don't know. i bite my tongue alot when i'm around her. i let "fine" slip out, but i did hold back "Then take care of her! Don't dump her off on us and leave for hours on end to play with your friends when YOUR daughter is here with us!" i don't mind taking care of Hailee, i love being with her. But her mother is so selfish and irresponsible that she doesn't think 'well if i'm not with my daughter, then someone else is taking care of her.'
okay... i just don't like her sometimes. alot of the time actually. i tried too when she moved back in... oh yeah... she moved back in with the family. *sighs* yeah... but anyway... i'm trying. but it's hard. i remember now why i avoided her when she did live here when she was younger.
bleh. i don't know. i'm trying to draw a lot more. And i'm forcing myself to do my realistic drawings more. i did one of Richard that i really like. and i'm trying to work on Kree right now. i don't know if I can do this one simply because the angle of her face is one i've never done before. so i might have to do a few test runs before i do the real deal. i'll figure it out.
uh, oh! i got new glasses ^-^ yay! i can see again! they are the frame-less kind -a whole $337.28 worth of glasses >.< gah! but it's worth it. they sorta have a square shape to them and have thicker ear-rests on them that are an amber-brown color (sorta see through in the light...) yeah. i like them. and i don't mind wearing them like i did with my other glasses. the ones i lost and then found two days ago in a drawer in the back room of the laundry room >.< tis my luck.
hmmm... and work is starting to suck royaly. gah! i just found out today that if we -the employees- don't sell more member cards, we could have raises with-held, pay-cuts and all sorts of crap like that. even though the manager i was talking too i nodded and said i understood and that i was still trying very hard to sell cards... in the back of my mind I was having a fit. REALLY, when you get right down to it, you can't force people to buy something they don't want!!! and there just aren't that many people in Idaho dangit! they don't seem to believe when I tell them that you just can't sell it to someone if they say no. For me as a customer, if someone pushes me to buy something, i resist more and then i don't go back for several months just to screw them over. so i don't push people when they say "no, not right now." the most i'll do is saying, "All right, i'll stick this brochure in your bag so if you want to read up on it, you can" and then smile and tell them to have a good day and hand them their crap. the only way we can sell more member cards, is if we place a gun to their heads and make them buy it or their life. you know? *sighs* if this crap keeps up... i don't know... i just need to go to college.
i'm sooo soddin' lazy! and college is something that i'm lazy about; and i don't know why! i shouldn't be! ...bleh. i feel like complaining tonight -.-` luckily i get the next two days off, but i have writers block and I just want to read my books that i ordered from amazon that were frickin' released the -15- of this month and still haven't gotten here! ... and my stupid credit card bill is going to suck next month. in retaliation to not getting my books from Amazon... i bought more dvd crap -.- yeah... that'll teach them. gah.
i should just shut up now.
but yeah. other than my glasses and the picture of Richard... life sucks right now yet it's still good in a strange way. oh yeah, and I admit to having fallen into another geek spawned anime - Fullmetal Alchemist is actaully a VERY good anime. i recomend it simply because i like how they use the science as an absolute and yet it's a very unique and different plot with two brothers. i like it so far. And i like how they went into the backstory after the second episode. i hate finding out about their past in like -episode 24 out of 26 episode season. and Evangelion sucks. i don't care what people say, it sucks. i was getting into it and then the last two episodes were crap with no redeeming qualities. even the director's cut versions didn't improve them any. don't watch it. it sucks. if you do watch it. end it at episode 24 and say he saved the world, the end. at least then the series will feel more resolved. gah.
... yeah... Fullmetal Alchemist is good. watch it.
and i got to do my writing assignment... and i need to think of a book for next months sci-fi book club thing Barnes and Noble assigned me. ... bugger -.-
~Mel