Anti-social
So, I'm at home. Alone. Getting ready to do some homework. On a Friday night.
Am I upset about this? A little bit maybe, but it's mostly my fault. I had the option to go play poker with some people earlier this evening, and I did for awhile. But then I got bored (as usual), lost the first game, decided that I didn't want to lose any more money and I didn't want to be social, so I left. I'd be okay with this whole thing if it didn't happen all the time. For some reason, I just don't like hanging out with CKI people. I don't know why, I just don't dig it. And it's been that way for quite a while now. I just get really awkward around them in the social setting and decide that I'd rather be alone.
Which brings me to the point that I just haven't found the friends here that I was hoping to find. I mean, no matter how many organizations I join, or how many events I go to, it remains that I don't have friends in San Diego. I know people and hang out with them every now and then, but I get sick of putting on an act and I just go home. I always wonder if it would have been different if I didn't have to live at home. Granted, I don't really have to live here now, but honestly, what am I going to do? Move into the dorms as a senior? Fuck that. Move into an apartment with friends? Right, okay. I don't know, I'm just so frustrated that I can't find people that I click with. Well, one, but we seem to have the amazing knack of getting upset at each other every other moment. Grrr.
Am I upset about this? A little bit maybe, but it's mostly my fault. I had the option to go play poker with some people earlier this evening, and I did for awhile. But then I got bored (as usual), lost the first game, decided that I didn't want to lose any more money and I didn't want to be social, so I left. I'd be okay with this whole thing if it didn't happen all the time. For some reason, I just don't like hanging out with CKI people. I don't know why, I just don't dig it. And it's been that way for quite a while now. I just get really awkward around them in the social setting and decide that I'd rather be alone.
Which brings me to the point that I just haven't found the friends here that I was hoping to find. I mean, no matter how many organizations I join, or how many events I go to, it remains that I don't have friends in San Diego. I know people and hang out with them every now and then, but I get sick of putting on an act and I just go home. I always wonder if it would have been different if I didn't have to live at home. Granted, I don't really have to live here now, but honestly, what am I going to do? Move into the dorms as a senior? Fuck that. Move into an apartment with friends? Right, okay. I don't know, I'm just so frustrated that I can't find people that I click with. Well, one, but we seem to have the amazing knack of getting upset at each other every other moment. Grrr.