livin the life
So on Thursday i went to a show at Kilby Court. I went by myself; not by choice, i asked all the people i could think would want to go, and nobody would go with me. Some actually had reasons, cause it was last second, but others were previously informed but backed out for reasons i don't want to talk about. Anyways, i got there early, and sat around by myself for a good 45 minutes until the band i went to see got there, then i kinda hung out with them. But for the first band i still stood by myself and i started looking around and realized that i was surrounded by couples. Then after a couple minutes i realized that there were 3 of my ex crushes there... 2 of which i tried for and failed. I for some unknown reason, started having a panic attack. i was having some serious anxiety! it was horrible, i was already upset that i couldn't find a single person to go to salt lake with me, and then 3 of my rejections were there, PLUS i was surrounded by couples! it was the worst feeling ever! I had never felt so alone and so unwanted. (which probably isn't true, we get that feeling all the time it was just so recent it was more painful). Its that stupid void that we must fill, that lonesome hole inside you that needs to be filled with a partner, or a pet, or a best friend, or god. Sometimes you get to the point when nothing fills it, and you just get depressed.
Anyways, i told myself i was going to have a good attitude and i decided to walk up to on of my rejected boys (the one that i have previously whined about on this journal thing) and he was so excited to see me. Now i had thought that he saw me when he first got there --a whole half hour sooner-- but it turns out he didn't. Again --as always-- we spent the whole night flirting and even went to the pie afterwards and continued to flirt, and even made plans to hang out on saturday. I was really excited about it but told myself not to get too into it because i've nick-named him "mister disappointment".
Well my weekend was pretty fun, got drunk and partied at my friends house on friday, and then on saturday, just as i suspected, me and "mister disappointments" plans got cancelled...due to a wedding thing he "forgot" he had to do. He claims he will call me on Monday, but lets not forget his nickname. So last night just hung out with some friends and watched a movie and whatnot.
Tomorrow I'm going to buy a car. I'm not sure what yet, something Subaru or Volkswagon something... i'm not sure yet, it just depends on what i can get the best deal on. Anyways, other than that i will work all week as always. I have two weeks off for Christmas Vacation, so that should be fun. And i guess thats it for the update.
Anyways, i told myself i was going to have a good attitude and i decided to walk up to on of my rejected boys (the one that i have previously whined about on this journal thing) and he was so excited to see me. Now i had thought that he saw me when he first got there --a whole half hour sooner-- but it turns out he didn't. Again --as always-- we spent the whole night flirting and even went to the pie afterwards and continued to flirt, and even made plans to hang out on saturday. I was really excited about it but told myself not to get too into it because i've nick-named him "mister disappointment".
Well my weekend was pretty fun, got drunk and partied at my friends house on friday, and then on saturday, just as i suspected, me and "mister disappointments" plans got cancelled...due to a wedding thing he "forgot" he had to do. He claims he will call me on Monday, but lets not forget his nickname. So last night just hung out with some friends and watched a movie and whatnot.
Tomorrow I'm going to buy a car. I'm not sure what yet, something Subaru or Volkswagon something... i'm not sure yet, it just depends on what i can get the best deal on. Anyways, other than that i will work all week as always. I have two weeks off for Christmas Vacation, so that should be fun. And i guess thats it for the update.