hurting not only thomas but myself
so tonight thomas and i actually started talking.
i still haven't told him that i'm dating joseph.
the whole time we were talking it's like he wasn't mad at me anymore and the whole time i was feeling guilt and heart break. guilt because i was getting his hopes up and heart break because i knew being with thomas is not what is rite at the time. it's just what i have to do, it's what feels rite.. being with joseph is what feels rite.
when i got in the car with momma jo something did not feel rite, i had something nagging in my heart. something didn't feel rite about 'being' with thomas. it feels so incredibly rite to open up to him, more than anything in the world.
he gave me so much by allowing that.
i shouldn't have gotten him attached, as well as myself.
he's such a great person that i don't want him to leave my life forever.
i'd love for us to be friends but i don't know if that'll fly with him, which i guess if it doesn't then that'll just show that, just as a person, i don't really mean as much as i thought(dictionary) i did.
i have to tell him and soon but i want to talk it out with joseph, just to help my self think more clearly.
so i know that joseph can be there for me, which so far it seems like.
i hope it won't be a mistake talking to joseph about it.
it's not that i'm asking him will you be with me before i give this thing with thomas up, it's not that at all.. either way i'm not going to be with thomas, like i've been saying it's not rite.
it's simply that i want joseph to know, i honestly want to be with him.
i still haven't told him that i'm dating joseph.
the whole time we were talking it's like he wasn't mad at me anymore and the whole time i was feeling guilt and heart break. guilt because i was getting his hopes up and heart break because i knew being with thomas is not what is rite at the time. it's just what i have to do, it's what feels rite.. being with joseph is what feels rite.
when i got in the car with momma jo something did not feel rite, i had something nagging in my heart. something didn't feel rite about 'being' with thomas. it feels so incredibly rite to open up to him, more than anything in the world.
he gave me so much by allowing that.
i shouldn't have gotten him attached, as well as myself.
he's such a great person that i don't want him to leave my life forever.
i'd love for us to be friends but i don't know if that'll fly with him, which i guess if it doesn't then that'll just show that, just as a person, i don't really mean as much as i thought(dictionary) i did.
i have to tell him and soon but i want to talk it out with joseph, just to help my self think more clearly.
so i know that joseph can be there for me, which so far it seems like.
i hope it won't be a mistake talking to joseph about it.
it's not that i'm asking him will you be with me before i give this thing with thomas up, it's not that at all.. either way i'm not going to be with thomas, like i've been saying it's not rite.
it's simply that i want joseph to know, i honestly want to be with him.