Gloomy Sunday :c
I slept all the way to half past three o’clock in the afternoon, because my bed felt so nice and my dreams were amazing, far more better than real life. I think I actually had three simultaneous orgasms when I had a particularly sexy dream.
After I finally got up, I took my morning medicine and washed my face. I put on the Rosy Cheeks face mask, and this time it did not make my skin burn or itch.
I was supposed to shave my armpits like every Sunday, but my underarm skin is inflamed to the point of being red and flaky so there is no point in shaving them and irritating them even further. Next week when I go visit my doctor, I will ask him to prescribe me some lotion for it.
I just spent the afternoon wandering around in my bathrobe, hating myself and wishing I would drop dead. I usually hate myself for not being able to DO anything; save my money, enroll in school, get up from the bed earlier, eat healthy meals, stuff like that.
Later that day Lita came over, I washed her laundry and she took a shower.
In the evening, I went to visit my parents. I called my mother and asked her if I can come over, she said it’s alright.
I put on my Ramones hoodie and a pair of “fart pants”, as they are called in Finnish (“pieruverkkarit”). I didn’t feel like wearing anything more flashy.
I caught a bus to my parents’ home. This elderly lady paid me a compliment, and we talked about stuff.
Once at my parents’ home, I was in a terribly angry mood. I felt like lashing out and breaking stuff, but I didn’t do so.
I drank coffee and orange juice, ate a few cherry tomatoes, feta cheese, and a couple of slices of a bun loaf.
Later that day, I took a bus back home.
Once there, I washed a load of laundry and took it downstairs to the drying room.
I felt the evening anxiety, and I also felt like there was something easy I could have done to relieve it. Very often I feel a craving for something, like eating a certain food, doing a certain activity with my hands like knitting, or watching a certain TV show to relieve my bad feelings, but this time I couldn’t exactly pinpoint it.
Tomorrow I will wash my hair and use the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment.
My care worker will come for the weekly appointment at 2:40, I will wash the dishes and iron the laundry.
After that, I will go to IKEA to buy one of those big blue shopping bags.
After I finally got up, I took my morning medicine and washed my face. I put on the Rosy Cheeks face mask, and this time it did not make my skin burn or itch.
I was supposed to shave my armpits like every Sunday, but my underarm skin is inflamed to the point of being red and flaky so there is no point in shaving them and irritating them even further. Next week when I go visit my doctor, I will ask him to prescribe me some lotion for it.
I just spent the afternoon wandering around in my bathrobe, hating myself and wishing I would drop dead. I usually hate myself for not being able to DO anything; save my money, enroll in school, get up from the bed earlier, eat healthy meals, stuff like that.
Later that day Lita came over, I washed her laundry and she took a shower.
In the evening, I went to visit my parents. I called my mother and asked her if I can come over, she said it’s alright.
I put on my Ramones hoodie and a pair of “fart pants”, as they are called in Finnish (“pieruverkkarit”). I didn’t feel like wearing anything more flashy.
I caught a bus to my parents’ home. This elderly lady paid me a compliment, and we talked about stuff.
Once at my parents’ home, I was in a terribly angry mood. I felt like lashing out and breaking stuff, but I didn’t do so.
I drank coffee and orange juice, ate a few cherry tomatoes, feta cheese, and a couple of slices of a bun loaf.
Later that day, I took a bus back home.
Once there, I washed a load of laundry and took it downstairs to the drying room.
I felt the evening anxiety, and I also felt like there was something easy I could have done to relieve it. Very often I feel a craving for something, like eating a certain food, doing a certain activity with my hands like knitting, or watching a certain TV show to relieve my bad feelings, but this time I couldn’t exactly pinpoint it.
Tomorrow I will wash my hair and use the twelve- step Korean skincare regiment.
My care worker will come for the weekly appointment at 2:40, I will wash the dishes and iron the laundry.
After that, I will go to IKEA to buy one of those big blue shopping bags.