[fic] Everlasting | Chapter 4
Fandom: Bleach
Pairing: Kurosaki Ichigo and Inoue Orihime.
Rating: T
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach
Warnings: Let the crack begin (?)
Summary: For each time Kurosaki Ichigo's soul was reborn, he loved Inoue Orihime...
Author's Note: Ok, this is when I get really cracky. This is based in (I think) one of the most famous IchiHime theories, and though it seems highly improbable as time goes by, I love it and once my sister suggested that this part of the poem fit them, so here it is. Also, I got really cracky and involved one of our beloved Gotei 13 captains, but that was born out of my theories regarding him. You'll understand when you read it xD, I really hope you like it! =)
Previous chapters: 1, 2, 3
The fourth, with no direction
Shiba Kaien was a loud, loud kid. He was always laughing, always moving. Kuchiki Miyako, as a good Kuchiki, was reserved and quiet, but when with Kaien, the two kids were unstoppable. He opened a door full of opportunities for her and she wasn’t afraid to step in. To his mother, it was an incredible sight. She knew Miyako was the light of Soujun’s life, but her dad was busy enough as it was trying his best to become the next head of the Kuchiki family to pay much attention to his daughter, and everyone knew how demanding Kuchiki Ginrei could be. She sighed heavily praying her husband wouldn’t be so hard on their hyperactive son.
…
“Not fair!” she heard Miyalo say to an excited Kaien holding a big, bright ball of spiritual pressure on his hand.
“Kaien” his mother called out. “It is time for Miyako to go back home” the spiky haired boy beamed at the girl.
“It is fair” he said, making the ball disappear “You just have to train harder. How about I teach you next time?” she smiled.
“You better”
…
“My dad gave me the talk yesterday” a seven year old Kaien told a same year old Miyako while lying on the grass of Mt. Kouifushi after being defeated at recognizing the shapes of clouds. Turns out Miyako’s imagination had exceeded his expectations.
“The talk?” she asked confused
“Yeah, the one about being head of the family and stuff. He’s been going on about that since as long as I can remember” she looked at him, he was clearly annoyed. “Haven’t your parents given you that talk?”
“No” she answered, her sight focused on the sky again. “I’m a girl so I don’t get to be head of my family, you know. Byakuya’s the one to receive all those talks”
“How’s your mom doing?” he asked, rolling to the side to get a better look at her.
“She’s recovering and she’s happy. Byakuya’s the cutest baby ever” she said with a contagious smile.
“I’d like to have a kid brother” he said falling on his back again. She smiled at him.
“Ask your parents one” he laughed. They remained silent for a moment looking at the sky. “Oh!” she said making him look at her “I brought you something” she shifted to a sitting position and searched for something among the things she had brought. “Here” she handed him an anpan, his face looked funny at the sight of it.
“Umm… I’m not really hungry, thanks!” he knew this time he wasn’t going to be able to keep the red bean paste down.
“It doesn’t have red bean paste in it” she said rolling her eyes as he took it. She looked mad.
“I’m sorry” he said with what he believed were puppy eyes. They always worked with his mother; they had to work with her. She smiled and he declared victory to himself. But she really had the weirdest taste buds ever, which she tried to force on him, which was never going to happen.
…
A thirteen year old Kaien found himself with the feeling that he had gone through the entire Kuchiki manor, when the member of the staff told him they had already reached their destination.
“Thanks so much” he told the man who took his leave after giving him a small bow “there you are!” he told Miyako who beamed at him “hey, kiddo” he said to Byakuya, his left hand reaching for his head, but the six year old masterfully dodged it.
“Good afternoon, Shiba Kaien” he said coldly as he stood up. Byakuya had never liked the guy who spent every moment he could with his sister “I shall take my leave to give you some privacy” he said bowing and leaving the room. Kaien started laughing.
“Don’t make fun of him!” said Miyako pinching him. He sat down next to her.
“It’s just… honestly, what do they feed you guys with?” she looked at him erasing his smile at once.
“He’s a kid, but he already knows what his role in this family will be; that’s a lot of pressure falling on his shoulders. He still doesn’t understand it completely, but he’s trying to make the best of it, please, don’t mock him!” he looked at her fascinated. That was one of the things he lov… he liked about Miyako, she was extremely kind and loved her family.
“I’m sorry” he said ashamed. She smiled.
“It’s ok”
“So, I haven’t heard from you in days. How’s your dad doing?”
“He’s feeling much better. He just has to stay in bed for a couple more days”
“I guess that’s not doing well with your grandpa.” Kaien pointed out wanting to take his words back the moment he said them for they caused her to look sad.
“No” she looked at her lap. It was no secret that Kuchiki Soujun, the man destined to be the 28th head of the Kuchiki family was very weak and not really suitable for battle. Miyako knew her jii-sama had changed his strategy and had started to prepare little Byakuya to take his father’s place. She couldn’t help feel bad for both her father and brother.
“Hey, don’t get sad!” Kaien said making her come back to reality. “You guys will work everything out. I’m sure of it” she smiled at him.
“You’re right… yeah, you’re right” she said cheering herself up.
“So, why have you been hiding from me?” he asked a little hurt. Kaien and Miyako spent every afternoon together, training or talking on Mt. Kouifushi for as long as he could remember, but it had been over a month she hadn’t showed up.
“I haven’t been hiding from you. I’ve been helping my mom and Byakuya with some things and I’ve been studying a lot”
“Studying? For what?”
“The entrance exam!” She said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Kaien beamed at her.
“Oh, that” he said as if it was nothing.
“I know a genius like you doesn’t need to do much studying, but I have to make an extra effort” she explained
“I’m not a genius! And what are you talking about? You’re very bright” that comment made her blush a little.
“Not as bright as you are. Besides I want to be in the advanced class”
“Oh” he said as understanding dawned on him “every single Kuchiki has made it to the advanced class, right?” her cheeks turned brighter.
“It’s not just that” she said timidly. “You’re going straight to the advanced class and I don’t want to be left behind, I don’t want to…” be separated from you
“Hey” he said, his hand on hers which made her cheeks even redder if that was possible. “Your jii-sama has taught you a lot of things and we’ve learned a lot together throughout the years, haven’t we? Besides, you’ve been studying a whole month, so you’re a safe lock for the advanced class, my little bookworm.”
…
After two long hours of hard training under the hot sun, a fifteen year old Kaien fell on his back, over the grass of Mt. Kouifushi, Miyako sitting next to him and handing him some water.
“Exhausted already?” she asked teasingly.
“What are you talking about?! I let you win the last time” she laughed. He smiled. He loved to hear her laughter, especially when he felt he could stay like that forever, over that grass, under that sun, the wind on his face and her by his side. He closed his eyes. That was perfect.
“So, what are your offers?” she asked making him open his eyes and come back to reality.
“Every squad” he answered, a smile was brought to her lips. He was unbelievably successful and she was happy for him “can you believe even your jii-sama offered me a seated position in the sixth squad. What do you think? You think he already considers me a part of the family?” they both laughed. She came close to him and kissed him deeply “Wow! Where did that come from?” she shrugged.
“I’m really happy for you” she said, her fingers going through his already messy hair.
“And I’m happy for you” he said sitting next to her “what are your options?”
“Everyone but the first, second, eleventh and twelfth”
“Kenpachi doesn’t want you? Why? You’re so suited for the eleventh. You just kicked the crap out of me” she pinched him.
“So you admit it, huh?”
“Of course” he said kissing her again.
“Where are you going then?” she asked once they broke apart.
“Anywhere but the first, second, eleventh and twelfth” she laughed
“Though, I appreciate that very much, I’m serious: where are you going?” he sighed. He knew it was a serious matter, but he didn’t want to think about anything serious yet, life was going to be filled with enough serious stuff as they grew older.
“Ukitake taichou personally asked me to join his squad. He wants me to be his fukutaichou” her eyes widened.
“That’s great! Has anyone else offered you being their fukutaichou?”
“No, my dad didn’t offer it” he said knowing the real question. “Besides, I’ve never liked the tenth and I don’t want my father to be my captain, it’s already enough for him to want to boss me around at home, imagine at work. No, a complete no”
“Won’t he be mad?” Kaien remained silent for a moment, and then he sighed.
“I suppose, but there’s nothing I can do about it. Look, I finished the academy in two years without his help even when he offered it. And all these offers, I earned them, so I think it’s fair if I decide what I’m going to do from here. I’m going to be head of the family, because I love them, but he can’t force me to do anything pass that” Miyako was looking at him; her eyes had grown very big. “I’m sorry, there went the ranting of the day” she smiled gently and kissed him. “What about you?” he asked “are you going to the sixth?”
“I have no idea. I’d like to be a fukutaichou, I know I can be a fukutaichou and in the sixth, that seat is reserved for Byakuya… it’s nothing against him though… he’s always training hard, I know he’ll be the best head of the family the Kuchiki House has seen and an amazing fukutaichou and eventual taichou, but… I’d feel a bit left out…” her head laid low for a moment. “I’m a horrible person, aren’t I?” Kaien laughed, placing an arm around her and bringing her close.
“No, you’re not” he said with a big smile “there’s no way you could be. Besides, I’d totally understand if you spoke badly of that kid. He should learn to mind his own business”
“What are you talking about?” She asked a bit confused.
“Have you already forgotten about the week they’ve prohibited me the entrance to the Kuchiki manor because that brat saw us kissing and first thing he did was to go and tell your jii-sama; he didn’t even tell your dad, he had to tell Kuchiki Ginrei of all people” she laughed.
“He’s a kid; he’s just jealous” she said, being the kind person he was.
“Well, he better be” she smiled, he then kissed her temple. “You’re the most beautiful person in the world to me, never forget that.”
…
“Now is when I really wished I had joined the sixth” a twenty-one year old and very frustrated Shiba Kaien enunciated. The fall of a noble family wasn’t a pretty sight… at all, especially in the conditions it all had happened.
Five years after Kaien had joined the thirteenth division, the tenth division had been sent out on a mission, something regarding the shinigami that had acquired hollow abilities some years ago. Help had been required from the sixth division; something along the lines of the strength of the Kuchiki is much needed. And that was how after a whole life of trying to prove himself worthy, Kuchiki Soujun had fallen in the mission. Allegedly because of a bad decision taken by the captain of the tenth division, which caused half of the men involved to die as well. That had been what every shinigami that had managed to come back had said.
No one had known a thing of the Tenth Division captain since then. The most powerful of the Noble Houses had lost a member, and someone had to pay for that and the only ones who had been there to take the fault had been his family.
Properties, land, money… almost everything had been taken away from the Shiba family. Kaien’s mother hadn’t been able to take it and had died of illness months after his father’s disappearance. However, Kukaku and Kaien Shiba were people of resources, and they were doing their best to support themselves and their little brother, Ganju. It was of much help that one of their uncles had been called to serve in the Royal Guard and had left them a small fortune.
“What for?” asked Kukaku a bit upset. The thought of his brother in the Kuchiki division made her sick “To be the slave of the Kuchiki? Look, we’ve managed and we’ll manage, we don’t need the Kuchiki”
“I need a Kuchiki” he said frustrated. It had been a year since he had last seen her. He wasn’t even able to pay his respects, to be with her when news about her father had reached. He figured it had been difficult for her, the death of her mother so recent. “I don’t care about the Kuchiki or anything they stand for, but if I were in the sixth division I’d be closer to her”
“So they still haven’t let her show up, even when she’s the third seat of the thirteenth” his sister said trying to sound understanding. His eyes became stuck to the ground. “Become a fukutaichou” she said firmly, “if you become a fukutaichou, you’ll be closer to the nobility. It would be practically impossible for them to say ‘no’ if you asked her hand in marriage.”
“Oh, it would be very possible, sure, I would say, for them to say ‘no’ to a Shiba.”
…
“I don’t know what happened” she said on the verge of tears the moment she came back to the division. “All I know is that whoever was responsible, it was neither you nor your family.” Kaien was bewildered. He felt like hitting his head repeatedly for ever thinking she could hold them responsible.
“I’m sorry” he said, his eyes starting to sting. “I’m sorry for the death of your dad. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there when you needed it the most” she shook her head.
“That doesn’t matter, it’s fine, I understand.” His eyes became teary, and all he could do was kissing her.
“I wanna marry you” her eyes covered the most part of her face, Kaien felt like laughing “I want to spend the rest of my life with you”
…
He decided to take the fact that Kuchiki Ginrei had accepted to see him as a good sign. That day, when it mattered the most, he decided he was going to be as positive as he could be. His hands were sweating, he could feel his heart pumping faster than usual, hurting him. A hand intertwined with his. Then he registered a smile from the most beautiful woman in the world.
“I just want you to know that this meeting doesn’t matter at all. I have my mind set. I love you and I will marry you” he smiled a worried smile; he didn’t want that for her, he didn’t want to push her away from her family, from everything she ever knew. She probably saw right through him, because she approached him and gave him a light kiss on the lips “everything will be ok” she whispered.
…
“I cannot have my granddaughter marry the member of a fallen noble family, especially not to a Shiba. I do not care if you’re a captain or a lieutenant. No member of the Kuchiki family will ever marry a Shiba” Kuchiki Ginrei had said firmly. His eyes fixed on Kaien, his stance unbreakable.
“Can you please stop bringing your family and mine up? That’s not what it matters here. What matters is that I love Miyako and I would never do anything to hurt her. I’d never…”
“It wasn’t long ago, boy, that you were member of one of the Noble Houses. Your father never taught you what that meant? He never taught you we’re here to set up an example? Never taught you that…?”
“He probably did, Kuchiki-taichou” said Kaien exasperated. “I just wasn’t paying attention ‘cause I never cared about all that. And I couldn’t care less now. I don’t want to be part of your family and this is not some kind of revenge on you. I’m in love with your granddaughter. I have been since… probably forever. I’m just asking for…”
“Shiba Kaien” said the kid who had been standing by his grandfather the whole time, his tone colder than ever. He was around fourteen now, but trying to look much older, fukutaichou badge on his right arm. “You should stop dragging this conversation any further. Nothing you say has the ability to change our position on this matter” he spoke slowly, but firmly, more firmly a kid his age should speak.
“If that’s how it is, then… I’ll pack my bags immediately” the three men turned their heads to the raven haired girl who had spoken nearly as firmly as her brother.
“What are you talking about Miyako?” asked Kaien afraid of where this was going.
“I love my family” she said more to him than to her relatives “and I would never want to see them suffering, they’ve been through enough suffering the last few years, but… I just can’t” her voice started to crack and her eyes were swelled with tears. “Sometimes I feel like I’ve lost you so many times that… I just can’t do it one more time.”
“But this is not the solution” he said in a whisper, taking her by the shoulders “there has got to be another way”
“There is no other way” the Kuchiki elder said “if she wants to marry you so badly, she has to renounce to her family and every privilege her last name could provide in the future.”
…
He had never felt so impotent, frustrated, and angry in his entire life. Not even after everything that had happened to his family. Hell, he felt he could cry the tears he knew Miyako was holding back. He knew her better than he knew himself, which allowed him to say with certainty that she was going to miss the Kuchiki manor, the staff she had befriended, his family, but above all she was going to regret not having been there with his little pest of a brother when it came the time for him to become the head of the family. “Damn!” he cursed wanting to punch the wall. He hated all this: royalty, noble houses… he hated it!
“I’m all set” she said smiling brighter than ever and carrying a suitcase with her.
“Miyako” he said approaching her and taking the bag from her hands. His free hand started to caress her face. “You don’t have to do this…”
“I want to” she interrupted, determination in her eyes.
“I’m so sorry” he said in a whisper.
“You should really stop apologizing for everything” she said as if nothing was going on. “This was my decision” she said firmly “I love jii-sama and Byakuya, but if they can’t understand the way I feel about you… I told you once, I can’t give up on you. Please, don’t give up on me” he kissed her deeply and then pressed his forehead against hers.
“I won’t. Never. I promise”
…
The captain of the eighth division, Kyouraku Shunsui really expected his long time white haired friend and fellow captain got a hold of himself. Kaien didn’t need his best man to be crying when the time came to give him the rings.
“You didn’t see her” Ukitake had tried to explain. “She looks so beautiful and so happy”
“Ah… how could she not?” Shunsui asked adjusting his hat “after all they’ve gone through… Though this is really sad” he pointed out.
“You’re right. I still can’t believe Ginrei and Byakuya declined the invitation”
“Oh, that too, but I meant the other reason.”
“What other reason?” Ukitake asked confused.
“Another pretty girl off the market…”
…
“… until death do you apart?”
“I do”
…
“I heard Byakuya got married” she sighed heavily against his chest.
“I really hope he’s as happy with her as I am with you.”
…
“I know my brother, and even when he looked tough as the head of the family should, I know he was torn apart inside. I never wanted this for him. I just wish… I wish I could be by his side right now” Kaien held her in a comforting embrace.
…
“And they say, even on her death bed, she told him she never loved him, but asked a last favor of him” Miyako heard some shinigami gossip in Rukongai.
“What was it?”
“For him to look for the sister, who while being a baby, she had abandoned.”
…
“Ukitake taichou confided me that he adopted her as his sister.” For some reason, Miyako found herself closing her eyes and sighing heavily. “He also asked him if she could join his division given that she didn’t complete the curriculum, and there are no offers from the other squads” their eyes met “taichou agreed. I have to meet her tomorrow, show her around, and explain her how things work here.” Miyako nodded. “Are you ok with this?” she smiled.
“I know it must be hard for her. Byakuya can be cold sometimes and they say she takes after her sister, so I reckon that coldness might be increased.” Kaien looked at her confused, not sure where she was going. “And I know how hard it is to be part of a noble family, how everyone thinks of you… please, try your best to make her feel at home.” Kaien smiled, he had married not only the most beautiful, but also the kindest woman in the world.
…
“It’s only a recognition mission, nothing serious!” she had assured him before leaving.
“I’m sorry if I make myself look as an obsessive, overprotective freak, but… please, be careful, I’d go with you, but…”
“It’s going to be fine” she had said. He smiled a nervous smile, and kissed her more deeply than he had ever done before.
“I love you. Don’t you forget that.” She smiled
“I love you too. Don’t you forget it either” he had watched her as she had gone.
Do you remember when you said you had lost me already and couldn’t afford to lose me again? Why do I, right now, feel the same way?’
…
The moment he saw his wife’s immobile body and shut eyes was the first time Shiba Kaien truly felt fear. He had encountered thousands of hollows, gone to a fair share of missions, had seen some nasty things, but never this feeling had gone down his spine. Was he afraid because this hollow had been able to take down his wife and her men? No. Was he afraid because there was nearly no info on the hollow? No. He was afraid because he didn’t know how he was going to face the fact of waking up every morning and realizing, as if it was a morning ritual, that his wife was gone forever. He was afraid of having to live without the sensation of longing for something after a mission, longing for that beautiful, warm smile, those delicate fingers through his hair and her tender cares. Afraid that his wife’s pride…
“We should be ready in two days.”
That’s it! He thought storming out of the room.
“Wait, Kaien! Calm down!” Taichou’s voice barely reached him.
“We don’t know its name, appearance or abilities” He said trying to calm down. His tone of voice, unfamiliar to himself, “therefore you want me to just sit here, like an idiot and wait…? Leave everything to the assault squad and just hide in here?”
…
He was grateful enough with Ukitake-taichou for leaving him come here, even when he knew damn well, they weren’t ready, thus, he was going to be the one doing all the fighting.
“Permission to fight alone” and to Ukitake, that was the time Kaien’s voice sounded the firmest. There was a moment of silence.
“Granted” the white haired taichou said, knowing the possible outcomes, but also knowing that Kaien knew them as well.
…
It was raining, and the rain felt heavier than usual. He knew it must’ve felt even heavier to the poor girl underneath him.
“Kuchiki. I dragged you into this… my stubbornness has caused you pain. I’m sorry, you must be torn apart inside” and so he was, Miyako’s soul, the only soul that truly matched his had been consumed by a hollow and now that he had been saved, his own, was going to become a part of Sereitei’s protection sphere. Even in whatever came after, assuming something came, his soul, his heart and Miyako’s weren’t going to follow the same direction. Will we wander errant around the world, with no direction until we find each other again? I know I might as well do it. I wouldn’t have made it a single day without you…
The girl underneath him was shaking. The rain was even heavier.
Our bodies themselves are souls. If we die, our bodies sooner or later turn to dust and become the spirit particles that make up Soul Society. When that happens, where do our hearts go?
“Thanks… to you… my heart… can still stay here”
There is no heart without you
Pairing: Kurosaki Ichigo and Inoue Orihime.
Rating: T
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach
Warnings: Let the crack begin (?)
Summary: For each time Kurosaki Ichigo's soul was reborn, he loved Inoue Orihime...
Author's Note: Ok, this is when I get really cracky. This is based in (I think) one of the most famous IchiHime theories, and though it seems highly improbable as time goes by, I love it and once my sister suggested that this part of the poem fit them, so here it is. Also, I got really cracky and involved one of our beloved Gotei 13 captains, but that was born out of my theories regarding him. You'll understand when you read it xD, I really hope you like it! =)
Previous chapters: 1, 2, 3
The fourth, with no direction
Shiba Kaien was a loud, loud kid. He was always laughing, always moving. Kuchiki Miyako, as a good Kuchiki, was reserved and quiet, but when with Kaien, the two kids were unstoppable. He opened a door full of opportunities for her and she wasn’t afraid to step in. To his mother, it was an incredible sight. She knew Miyako was the light of Soujun’s life, but her dad was busy enough as it was trying his best to become the next head of the Kuchiki family to pay much attention to his daughter, and everyone knew how demanding Kuchiki Ginrei could be. She sighed heavily praying her husband wouldn’t be so hard on their hyperactive son.
…
“Not fair!” she heard Miyalo say to an excited Kaien holding a big, bright ball of spiritual pressure on his hand.
“Kaien” his mother called out. “It is time for Miyako to go back home” the spiky haired boy beamed at the girl.
“It is fair” he said, making the ball disappear “You just have to train harder. How about I teach you next time?” she smiled.
“You better”
…
“My dad gave me the talk yesterday” a seven year old Kaien told a same year old Miyako while lying on the grass of Mt. Kouifushi after being defeated at recognizing the shapes of clouds. Turns out Miyako’s imagination had exceeded his expectations.
“The talk?” she asked confused
“Yeah, the one about being head of the family and stuff. He’s been going on about that since as long as I can remember” she looked at him, he was clearly annoyed. “Haven’t your parents given you that talk?”
“No” she answered, her sight focused on the sky again. “I’m a girl so I don’t get to be head of my family, you know. Byakuya’s the one to receive all those talks”
“How’s your mom doing?” he asked, rolling to the side to get a better look at her.
“She’s recovering and she’s happy. Byakuya’s the cutest baby ever” she said with a contagious smile.
“I’d like to have a kid brother” he said falling on his back again. She smiled at him.
“Ask your parents one” he laughed. They remained silent for a moment looking at the sky. “Oh!” she said making him look at her “I brought you something” she shifted to a sitting position and searched for something among the things she had brought. “Here” she handed him an anpan, his face looked funny at the sight of it.
“Umm… I’m not really hungry, thanks!” he knew this time he wasn’t going to be able to keep the red bean paste down.
“It doesn’t have red bean paste in it” she said rolling her eyes as he took it. She looked mad.
“I’m sorry” he said with what he believed were puppy eyes. They always worked with his mother; they had to work with her. She smiled and he declared victory to himself. But she really had the weirdest taste buds ever, which she tried to force on him, which was never going to happen.
…
A thirteen year old Kaien found himself with the feeling that he had gone through the entire Kuchiki manor, when the member of the staff told him they had already reached their destination.
“Thanks so much” he told the man who took his leave after giving him a small bow “there you are!” he told Miyako who beamed at him “hey, kiddo” he said to Byakuya, his left hand reaching for his head, but the six year old masterfully dodged it.
“Good afternoon, Shiba Kaien” he said coldly as he stood up. Byakuya had never liked the guy who spent every moment he could with his sister “I shall take my leave to give you some privacy” he said bowing and leaving the room. Kaien started laughing.
“Don’t make fun of him!” said Miyako pinching him. He sat down next to her.
“It’s just… honestly, what do they feed you guys with?” she looked at him erasing his smile at once.
“He’s a kid, but he already knows what his role in this family will be; that’s a lot of pressure falling on his shoulders. He still doesn’t understand it completely, but he’s trying to make the best of it, please, don’t mock him!” he looked at her fascinated. That was one of the things he lov… he liked about Miyako, she was extremely kind and loved her family.
“I’m sorry” he said ashamed. She smiled.
“It’s ok”
“So, I haven’t heard from you in days. How’s your dad doing?”
“He’s feeling much better. He just has to stay in bed for a couple more days”
“I guess that’s not doing well with your grandpa.” Kaien pointed out wanting to take his words back the moment he said them for they caused her to look sad.
“No” she looked at her lap. It was no secret that Kuchiki Soujun, the man destined to be the 28th head of the Kuchiki family was very weak and not really suitable for battle. Miyako knew her jii-sama had changed his strategy and had started to prepare little Byakuya to take his father’s place. She couldn’t help feel bad for both her father and brother.
“Hey, don’t get sad!” Kaien said making her come back to reality. “You guys will work everything out. I’m sure of it” she smiled at him.
“You’re right… yeah, you’re right” she said cheering herself up.
“So, why have you been hiding from me?” he asked a little hurt. Kaien and Miyako spent every afternoon together, training or talking on Mt. Kouifushi for as long as he could remember, but it had been over a month she hadn’t showed up.
“I haven’t been hiding from you. I’ve been helping my mom and Byakuya with some things and I’ve been studying a lot”
“Studying? For what?”
“The entrance exam!” She said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Kaien beamed at her.
“Oh, that” he said as if it was nothing.
“I know a genius like you doesn’t need to do much studying, but I have to make an extra effort” she explained
“I’m not a genius! And what are you talking about? You’re very bright” that comment made her blush a little.
“Not as bright as you are. Besides I want to be in the advanced class”
“Oh” he said as understanding dawned on him “every single Kuchiki has made it to the advanced class, right?” her cheeks turned brighter.
“It’s not just that” she said timidly. “You’re going straight to the advanced class and I don’t want to be left behind, I don’t want to…” be separated from you
“Hey” he said, his hand on hers which made her cheeks even redder if that was possible. “Your jii-sama has taught you a lot of things and we’ve learned a lot together throughout the years, haven’t we? Besides, you’ve been studying a whole month, so you’re a safe lock for the advanced class, my little bookworm.”
…
After two long hours of hard training under the hot sun, a fifteen year old Kaien fell on his back, over the grass of Mt. Kouifushi, Miyako sitting next to him and handing him some water.
“Exhausted already?” she asked teasingly.
“What are you talking about?! I let you win the last time” she laughed. He smiled. He loved to hear her laughter, especially when he felt he could stay like that forever, over that grass, under that sun, the wind on his face and her by his side. He closed his eyes. That was perfect.
“So, what are your offers?” she asked making him open his eyes and come back to reality.
“Every squad” he answered, a smile was brought to her lips. He was unbelievably successful and she was happy for him “can you believe even your jii-sama offered me a seated position in the sixth squad. What do you think? You think he already considers me a part of the family?” they both laughed. She came close to him and kissed him deeply “Wow! Where did that come from?” she shrugged.
“I’m really happy for you” she said, her fingers going through his already messy hair.
“And I’m happy for you” he said sitting next to her “what are your options?”
“Everyone but the first, second, eleventh and twelfth”
“Kenpachi doesn’t want you? Why? You’re so suited for the eleventh. You just kicked the crap out of me” she pinched him.
“So you admit it, huh?”
“Of course” he said kissing her again.
“Where are you going then?” she asked once they broke apart.
“Anywhere but the first, second, eleventh and twelfth” she laughed
“Though, I appreciate that very much, I’m serious: where are you going?” he sighed. He knew it was a serious matter, but he didn’t want to think about anything serious yet, life was going to be filled with enough serious stuff as they grew older.
“Ukitake taichou personally asked me to join his squad. He wants me to be his fukutaichou” her eyes widened.
“That’s great! Has anyone else offered you being their fukutaichou?”
“No, my dad didn’t offer it” he said knowing the real question. “Besides, I’ve never liked the tenth and I don’t want my father to be my captain, it’s already enough for him to want to boss me around at home, imagine at work. No, a complete no”
“Won’t he be mad?” Kaien remained silent for a moment, and then he sighed.
“I suppose, but there’s nothing I can do about it. Look, I finished the academy in two years without his help even when he offered it. And all these offers, I earned them, so I think it’s fair if I decide what I’m going to do from here. I’m going to be head of the family, because I love them, but he can’t force me to do anything pass that” Miyako was looking at him; her eyes had grown very big. “I’m sorry, there went the ranting of the day” she smiled gently and kissed him. “What about you?” he asked “are you going to the sixth?”
“I have no idea. I’d like to be a fukutaichou, I know I can be a fukutaichou and in the sixth, that seat is reserved for Byakuya… it’s nothing against him though… he’s always training hard, I know he’ll be the best head of the family the Kuchiki House has seen and an amazing fukutaichou and eventual taichou, but… I’d feel a bit left out…” her head laid low for a moment. “I’m a horrible person, aren’t I?” Kaien laughed, placing an arm around her and bringing her close.
“No, you’re not” he said with a big smile “there’s no way you could be. Besides, I’d totally understand if you spoke badly of that kid. He should learn to mind his own business”
“What are you talking about?” She asked a bit confused.
“Have you already forgotten about the week they’ve prohibited me the entrance to the Kuchiki manor because that brat saw us kissing and first thing he did was to go and tell your jii-sama; he didn’t even tell your dad, he had to tell Kuchiki Ginrei of all people” she laughed.
“He’s a kid; he’s just jealous” she said, being the kind person he was.
“Well, he better be” she smiled, he then kissed her temple. “You’re the most beautiful person in the world to me, never forget that.”
…
“Now is when I really wished I had joined the sixth” a twenty-one year old and very frustrated Shiba Kaien enunciated. The fall of a noble family wasn’t a pretty sight… at all, especially in the conditions it all had happened.
Five years after Kaien had joined the thirteenth division, the tenth division had been sent out on a mission, something regarding the shinigami that had acquired hollow abilities some years ago. Help had been required from the sixth division; something along the lines of the strength of the Kuchiki is much needed. And that was how after a whole life of trying to prove himself worthy, Kuchiki Soujun had fallen in the mission. Allegedly because of a bad decision taken by the captain of the tenth division, which caused half of the men involved to die as well. That had been what every shinigami that had managed to come back had said.
No one had known a thing of the Tenth Division captain since then. The most powerful of the Noble Houses had lost a member, and someone had to pay for that and the only ones who had been there to take the fault had been his family.
Properties, land, money… almost everything had been taken away from the Shiba family. Kaien’s mother hadn’t been able to take it and had died of illness months after his father’s disappearance. However, Kukaku and Kaien Shiba were people of resources, and they were doing their best to support themselves and their little brother, Ganju. It was of much help that one of their uncles had been called to serve in the Royal Guard and had left them a small fortune.
“What for?” asked Kukaku a bit upset. The thought of his brother in the Kuchiki division made her sick “To be the slave of the Kuchiki? Look, we’ve managed and we’ll manage, we don’t need the Kuchiki”
“I need a Kuchiki” he said frustrated. It had been a year since he had last seen her. He wasn’t even able to pay his respects, to be with her when news about her father had reached. He figured it had been difficult for her, the death of her mother so recent. “I don’t care about the Kuchiki or anything they stand for, but if I were in the sixth division I’d be closer to her”
“So they still haven’t let her show up, even when she’s the third seat of the thirteenth” his sister said trying to sound understanding. His eyes became stuck to the ground. “Become a fukutaichou” she said firmly, “if you become a fukutaichou, you’ll be closer to the nobility. It would be practically impossible for them to say ‘no’ if you asked her hand in marriage.”
“Oh, it would be very possible, sure, I would say, for them to say ‘no’ to a Shiba.”
…
“I don’t know what happened” she said on the verge of tears the moment she came back to the division. “All I know is that whoever was responsible, it was neither you nor your family.” Kaien was bewildered. He felt like hitting his head repeatedly for ever thinking she could hold them responsible.
“I’m sorry” he said, his eyes starting to sting. “I’m sorry for the death of your dad. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there when you needed it the most” she shook her head.
“That doesn’t matter, it’s fine, I understand.” His eyes became teary, and all he could do was kissing her.
“I wanna marry you” her eyes covered the most part of her face, Kaien felt like laughing “I want to spend the rest of my life with you”
…
He decided to take the fact that Kuchiki Ginrei had accepted to see him as a good sign. That day, when it mattered the most, he decided he was going to be as positive as he could be. His hands were sweating, he could feel his heart pumping faster than usual, hurting him. A hand intertwined with his. Then he registered a smile from the most beautiful woman in the world.
“I just want you to know that this meeting doesn’t matter at all. I have my mind set. I love you and I will marry you” he smiled a worried smile; he didn’t want that for her, he didn’t want to push her away from her family, from everything she ever knew. She probably saw right through him, because she approached him and gave him a light kiss on the lips “everything will be ok” she whispered.
…
“I cannot have my granddaughter marry the member of a fallen noble family, especially not to a Shiba. I do not care if you’re a captain or a lieutenant. No member of the Kuchiki family will ever marry a Shiba” Kuchiki Ginrei had said firmly. His eyes fixed on Kaien, his stance unbreakable.
“Can you please stop bringing your family and mine up? That’s not what it matters here. What matters is that I love Miyako and I would never do anything to hurt her. I’d never…”
“It wasn’t long ago, boy, that you were member of one of the Noble Houses. Your father never taught you what that meant? He never taught you we’re here to set up an example? Never taught you that…?”
“He probably did, Kuchiki-taichou” said Kaien exasperated. “I just wasn’t paying attention ‘cause I never cared about all that. And I couldn’t care less now. I don’t want to be part of your family and this is not some kind of revenge on you. I’m in love with your granddaughter. I have been since… probably forever. I’m just asking for…”
“Shiba Kaien” said the kid who had been standing by his grandfather the whole time, his tone colder than ever. He was around fourteen now, but trying to look much older, fukutaichou badge on his right arm. “You should stop dragging this conversation any further. Nothing you say has the ability to change our position on this matter” he spoke slowly, but firmly, more firmly a kid his age should speak.
“If that’s how it is, then… I’ll pack my bags immediately” the three men turned their heads to the raven haired girl who had spoken nearly as firmly as her brother.
“What are you talking about Miyako?” asked Kaien afraid of where this was going.
“I love my family” she said more to him than to her relatives “and I would never want to see them suffering, they’ve been through enough suffering the last few years, but… I just can’t” her voice started to crack and her eyes were swelled with tears. “Sometimes I feel like I’ve lost you so many times that… I just can’t do it one more time.”
“But this is not the solution” he said in a whisper, taking her by the shoulders “there has got to be another way”
“There is no other way” the Kuchiki elder said “if she wants to marry you so badly, she has to renounce to her family and every privilege her last name could provide in the future.”
…
He had never felt so impotent, frustrated, and angry in his entire life. Not even after everything that had happened to his family. Hell, he felt he could cry the tears he knew Miyako was holding back. He knew her better than he knew himself, which allowed him to say with certainty that she was going to miss the Kuchiki manor, the staff she had befriended, his family, but above all she was going to regret not having been there with his little pest of a brother when it came the time for him to become the head of the family. “Damn!” he cursed wanting to punch the wall. He hated all this: royalty, noble houses… he hated it!
“I’m all set” she said smiling brighter than ever and carrying a suitcase with her.
“Miyako” he said approaching her and taking the bag from her hands. His free hand started to caress her face. “You don’t have to do this…”
“I want to” she interrupted, determination in her eyes.
“I’m so sorry” he said in a whisper.
“You should really stop apologizing for everything” she said as if nothing was going on. “This was my decision” she said firmly “I love jii-sama and Byakuya, but if they can’t understand the way I feel about you… I told you once, I can’t give up on you. Please, don’t give up on me” he kissed her deeply and then pressed his forehead against hers.
“I won’t. Never. I promise”
…
The captain of the eighth division, Kyouraku Shunsui really expected his long time white haired friend and fellow captain got a hold of himself. Kaien didn’t need his best man to be crying when the time came to give him the rings.
“You didn’t see her” Ukitake had tried to explain. “She looks so beautiful and so happy”
“Ah… how could she not?” Shunsui asked adjusting his hat “after all they’ve gone through… Though this is really sad” he pointed out.
“You’re right. I still can’t believe Ginrei and Byakuya declined the invitation”
“Oh, that too, but I meant the other reason.”
“What other reason?” Ukitake asked confused.
“Another pretty girl off the market…”
…
“… until death do you apart?”
“I do”
…
“I heard Byakuya got married” she sighed heavily against his chest.
“I really hope he’s as happy with her as I am with you.”
…
“I know my brother, and even when he looked tough as the head of the family should, I know he was torn apart inside. I never wanted this for him. I just wish… I wish I could be by his side right now” Kaien held her in a comforting embrace.
…
“And they say, even on her death bed, she told him she never loved him, but asked a last favor of him” Miyako heard some shinigami gossip in Rukongai.
“What was it?”
“For him to look for the sister, who while being a baby, she had abandoned.”
…
“Ukitake taichou confided me that he adopted her as his sister.” For some reason, Miyako found herself closing her eyes and sighing heavily. “He also asked him if she could join his division given that she didn’t complete the curriculum, and there are no offers from the other squads” their eyes met “taichou agreed. I have to meet her tomorrow, show her around, and explain her how things work here.” Miyako nodded. “Are you ok with this?” she smiled.
“I know it must be hard for her. Byakuya can be cold sometimes and they say she takes after her sister, so I reckon that coldness might be increased.” Kaien looked at her confused, not sure where she was going. “And I know how hard it is to be part of a noble family, how everyone thinks of you… please, try your best to make her feel at home.” Kaien smiled, he had married not only the most beautiful, but also the kindest woman in the world.
…
“It’s only a recognition mission, nothing serious!” she had assured him before leaving.
“I’m sorry if I make myself look as an obsessive, overprotective freak, but… please, be careful, I’d go with you, but…”
“It’s going to be fine” she had said. He smiled a nervous smile, and kissed her more deeply than he had ever done before.
“I love you. Don’t you forget that.” She smiled
“I love you too. Don’t you forget it either” he had watched her as she had gone.
Do you remember when you said you had lost me already and couldn’t afford to lose me again? Why do I, right now, feel the same way?’
…
The moment he saw his wife’s immobile body and shut eyes was the first time Shiba Kaien truly felt fear. He had encountered thousands of hollows, gone to a fair share of missions, had seen some nasty things, but never this feeling had gone down his spine. Was he afraid because this hollow had been able to take down his wife and her men? No. Was he afraid because there was nearly no info on the hollow? No. He was afraid because he didn’t know how he was going to face the fact of waking up every morning and realizing, as if it was a morning ritual, that his wife was gone forever. He was afraid of having to live without the sensation of longing for something after a mission, longing for that beautiful, warm smile, those delicate fingers through his hair and her tender cares. Afraid that his wife’s pride…
“We should be ready in two days.”
That’s it! He thought storming out of the room.
“Wait, Kaien! Calm down!” Taichou’s voice barely reached him.
“We don’t know its name, appearance or abilities” He said trying to calm down. His tone of voice, unfamiliar to himself, “therefore you want me to just sit here, like an idiot and wait…? Leave everything to the assault squad and just hide in here?”
…
He was grateful enough with Ukitake-taichou for leaving him come here, even when he knew damn well, they weren’t ready, thus, he was going to be the one doing all the fighting.
“Permission to fight alone” and to Ukitake, that was the time Kaien’s voice sounded the firmest. There was a moment of silence.
“Granted” the white haired taichou said, knowing the possible outcomes, but also knowing that Kaien knew them as well.
…
It was raining, and the rain felt heavier than usual. He knew it must’ve felt even heavier to the poor girl underneath him.
“Kuchiki. I dragged you into this… my stubbornness has caused you pain. I’m sorry, you must be torn apart inside” and so he was, Miyako’s soul, the only soul that truly matched his had been consumed by a hollow and now that he had been saved, his own, was going to become a part of Sereitei’s protection sphere. Even in whatever came after, assuming something came, his soul, his heart and Miyako’s weren’t going to follow the same direction. Will we wander errant around the world, with no direction until we find each other again? I know I might as well do it. I wouldn’t have made it a single day without you…
The girl underneath him was shaking. The rain was even heavier.
Our bodies themselves are souls. If we die, our bodies sooner or later turn to dust and become the spirit particles that make up Soul Society. When that happens, where do our hearts go?
“Thanks… to you… my heart… can still stay here”
There is no heart without you