[fic] I'm [still] here
Fandom: Katekyo Hitman Reborn
Pairing: 2700
Word Count: 1,671
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own KHR!
Warnings: Relationship study from Tsuna's POV
Spoilers: For chapters 330 and 331
Summary: At the beginning, it was electric. Then, there was a gravitational pull... Tsuna reflects on his bond with Enma as he makes him a promise he's willing to keep.
Author's Note: This is me being completely random, but I'm just so happy with chapter 331 that I couldn't help wrtiting this, I hope you all like it! =)
As he was sitting besides the bed, his hand traveling over the sheet and dangerously tenting to graze against one with wires attached to it, he thought he never wanted to be in a hospital anymore.
Uncertainty was an unpleasant and excruciating feeling and it made him feel feebler. He hunched over the bed staring at his broken hand to eventually rest his head on the bed, his fingers approaching by the second. He smiled, melancholy reflected in his eyes remembering the first time their hands met.
At the beginning, it was electric.
He was all the things he used to be - or that he still was - he was nothing more than someone who by chance had arrived to his mess of a life, but would never be involved. There was no connection, no need of a connection, no desire for a connection even when he was being tortured right in front of him.
Then, he was pulled; or rather Reborn’s foot on his back made him felt as if the ground was pulling him near. But as he was lying on the ground defeated and sore, he realized that after his first encounter with Hibari Kyouya, he had never shared being bullied with anyone before - Gokudera was a bully himself and no one messed with Yamamoto -
“A-are you alright?” he stammered due to the pain. He didn’t answer as he stood up and tried to put himself together. “Ah, they ripped your textbooks apart” he pointed out looking at the tattered sheets, but no word came out of his mouth. “H-here” he said giving him his book back. He wasn’t sure how to act around someone who gave the impression of not wanting to have any interaction at all.
He would’ve never been able to anticipate that, like a signal, his ring would light up and an electric sensation would travel from his arm down to his spine.
He ran away like a scared - broken - little animal.
Then, there was a gravitational pull
Reborn forced him to give him his forgotten book back.
He was alone, sitting by the lake, - on an attempt at - sewing his pants.
The first time he heard his voice, he was stopping his thumb from bleeding and it was all distorted. He was glad he could actually speak, but his sewing skills weren’t the greatest.
“I’m clumsy, go ahead and laugh” there was honesty in his voice combined with a tint of resignation. Like someone who enunciates a fact that he wished could be changed, but knows it won’t, even if he tries. But there was no much room for thinking when he lost balanced and fell on the river; whether it was his instinct to help him or gravity, Tsuna fell with him. He fell…
…
The first time he saw him smile, he wasn’t really sure why he was doing his best at making him feel better. There was something about Kozato Enma that didn’t allow him to simply turn around. So he tried, and tried…
…
The first time he felt someone understood, he was on the verge of having an attack. He didn’t want to be stripped away from the average life he was content to have; he didn’t want to lead a mafia family, being led to take decisions he never wanted to make to protect that family. He didn’t want his life not to be his anymore.
“Why don’t you run away?” the cuts on his face had multiplied and deepened. “I’m always thinking about running away too” he gazed at the sky as if he was going to find an escape there, and maybe he was.
“Enma-kun, those injuries, were you bullied again?” he didn’t answer for some seconds. Tsuna came closer.
“When humans have power, they use it rashly. The mafia, school bullies… they’re all the same” he said almost to himself.
“Hey… are you ok?” he was more worried about his current state.
“What about you?” he asked as his eyes found him. Tsuna was taken aback by the question. “See you” he said getting up more swiftly than he thought he would be able to.
The thought had never crossed his mind nor had anyone suggested it before.
It was probably the logical way to follow. Even when he disappointed everyone, there was no one better than himself to know that he would never be fitting to be a mafia boss. “If I hate it I should just run away”
…
It was refreshing being around someone who didn’t expect anything from you. A person you could tell what you really thought to and so he did because there was this need to empty the vessel before it became shards. He probably thought the same as he raised his voice to talk about his family which he had never done.
“But there are times when I feel like I could be friends with you. Tsuna-kun is different from other scary mafia people” he stared at him assimilating his words, his eyes wide and his mouth agape.
“I-I already consider us friends. Even without the ceremony, I really think it’s great we were able to meet each other” Sincerity conveyed in his face and voice. Enma was astounded, his expression made Tsuna smile wider.
He wondered if Enma was able to feel it too… that sensation of finally heading somewhere, with someone enjoying the ride with you.
But there was a tremor afterwards.
Nothing fell back on its place again. His crimson eyes told him nothing ever would either.
Kozato Enma stood impassive like an emperor while all those Tsuna cared about fell to his feet. “Tsuna-kun, you better worry about yourself” Tsuna was pulled against the ceiling, the taste of blood invading his mouth.
He fell, but this time there was no one with him; there was nothing but the blurry sight of feet walking away.
…
It was one of life’s biggest tragedies, he thought: hurting and being hurt by those you love.
With that thought in mind, he brought his flame forth as his… - he didn’t even know what Enma was to him anymore - looked down at him. A mixture of despair, anger and pain made his eyes gleam redder.
It felt like being pulled near fire; the suffocating heat crawling down his skin, but knowing he wasn’t burning quite yet.
Every punch landed with might and every word was spouted with scorn and eventual sorrow.
“When humans have power, they use it rashly. The mafia, school bullies… they’re all the same”
He realized now just how true that statement was.
“You are the son of Sawada Iemitsu, the man who murdered my parents and my sister” he tried to refute it, deny it, make him see it was impossible, but there was nothing he could say as his body went numb.
And he took every rage filled strike; he took them as if he could solve anything by it. But he didn’t.
Enma broke under his own power. He was lying on the ground, blood on his face, tears in his eyes. “Tsunayoshi… how could you? My sister… Give me back Mami…”
He felt the despair conveyed in those words reaching his very core.
The sky and the earth never meet, even when they seemed to do so in the horizon. Perhaps, that’s how it always had to be.
It was a tragedy, indeed.
There was also a black hole dismissing everything.
It was holding water in your hands and expecting not to slip away. It was a misleading flickering light pretending to shed normal brightness. It was the vessel in shards.
Tsuna was being drawn, even when a ghost had taken Enma’s place.
He wasn’t listening. He was repeating his name like a prayer. His killing intent was blatant and intoxicating “Please, leave this to me” he requested. Words of protest arose. “It’s ok. Enma’s going to be fine” he said more to himself than to those present.
He would do anything he needed to in order to bring him back.
But he was pulled.
I don’t want to be alone, I’m so alone. No one here…
Not so long ago, Tsuna had been lonely. Even when he had set a barrier of resignation between himself and the world, the loneliness was still there. Then Reborn had come along and turned his world upside down; he had made it noisier, more dangerous, more hectic… happier.
He had seen the members of the Shimon Family fall one by one, most of them grateful towards their boss; all of them united by pain, but now they were all gone.
Help me! I don’t want to be alone…
“I’m here” he uttered as loud as he could, waiting for his words to pierce through his skull. He meant it; for him he would always mean it “Here I am”, Enma stopped for some seconds until his eyes were tinted with the crimson he always knew.
“Tsuna-kun!” he called out, “just like Vongola primo, you didn’t betray me”
But the hunger of that black hole was greater than both their powers.
“I’m going to save you. I’m going to do it” it was an oath.
…
And in the end, there’s darkness
His broken digits moved slowly over the sheets. Tsuna looked up to find him slightly writhing. He was cringing as sweat drops traveled down his forehead.
Tsuna stood up and stared at him closely. Enma started mumbling incomprehensible words; he remembered being told that he used to do that when he was younger. He also remembered his mother’s cure.
He leaned over him, his right hand removing damped locks, to then dig in red hair and find its way to his cheek. He pressed his forehead against his and closed his eyes.
“I’m here” he whispered, Enma ceased to move at the sound of his voice, Tsuna smiled, “I’ll always be here” he placed a light kiss on his forehead, “always”
He meant it; for him, he would always mean it.
Pairing: 2700
Word Count: 1,671
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own KHR!
Warnings: Relationship study from Tsuna's POV
Spoilers: For chapters 330 and 331
Summary: At the beginning, it was electric. Then, there was a gravitational pull... Tsuna reflects on his bond with Enma as he makes him a promise he's willing to keep.
Author's Note: This is me being completely random, but I'm just so happy with chapter 331 that I couldn't help wrtiting this, I hope you all like it! =)
As he was sitting besides the bed, his hand traveling over the sheet and dangerously tenting to graze against one with wires attached to it, he thought he never wanted to be in a hospital anymore.
Uncertainty was an unpleasant and excruciating feeling and it made him feel feebler. He hunched over the bed staring at his broken hand to eventually rest his head on the bed, his fingers approaching by the second. He smiled, melancholy reflected in his eyes remembering the first time their hands met.
At the beginning, it was electric.
He was all the things he used to be - or that he still was - he was nothing more than someone who by chance had arrived to his mess of a life, but would never be involved. There was no connection, no need of a connection, no desire for a connection even when he was being tortured right in front of him.
Then, he was pulled; or rather Reborn’s foot on his back made him felt as if the ground was pulling him near. But as he was lying on the ground defeated and sore, he realized that after his first encounter with Hibari Kyouya, he had never shared being bullied with anyone before - Gokudera was a bully himself and no one messed with Yamamoto -
“A-are you alright?” he stammered due to the pain. He didn’t answer as he stood up and tried to put himself together. “Ah, they ripped your textbooks apart” he pointed out looking at the tattered sheets, but no word came out of his mouth. “H-here” he said giving him his book back. He wasn’t sure how to act around someone who gave the impression of not wanting to have any interaction at all.
He would’ve never been able to anticipate that, like a signal, his ring would light up and an electric sensation would travel from his arm down to his spine.
He ran away like a scared - broken - little animal.
Then, there was a gravitational pull
Reborn forced him to give him his forgotten book back.
He was alone, sitting by the lake, - on an attempt at - sewing his pants.
The first time he heard his voice, he was stopping his thumb from bleeding and it was all distorted. He was glad he could actually speak, but his sewing skills weren’t the greatest.
“I’m clumsy, go ahead and laugh” there was honesty in his voice combined with a tint of resignation. Like someone who enunciates a fact that he wished could be changed, but knows it won’t, even if he tries. But there was no much room for thinking when he lost balanced and fell on the river; whether it was his instinct to help him or gravity, Tsuna fell with him. He fell…
…
The first time he saw him smile, he wasn’t really sure why he was doing his best at making him feel better. There was something about Kozato Enma that didn’t allow him to simply turn around. So he tried, and tried…
…
The first time he felt someone understood, he was on the verge of having an attack. He didn’t want to be stripped away from the average life he was content to have; he didn’t want to lead a mafia family, being led to take decisions he never wanted to make to protect that family. He didn’t want his life not to be his anymore.
“Why don’t you run away?” the cuts on his face had multiplied and deepened. “I’m always thinking about running away too” he gazed at the sky as if he was going to find an escape there, and maybe he was.
“Enma-kun, those injuries, were you bullied again?” he didn’t answer for some seconds. Tsuna came closer.
“When humans have power, they use it rashly. The mafia, school bullies… they’re all the same” he said almost to himself.
“Hey… are you ok?” he was more worried about his current state.
“What about you?” he asked as his eyes found him. Tsuna was taken aback by the question. “See you” he said getting up more swiftly than he thought he would be able to.
The thought had never crossed his mind nor had anyone suggested it before.
It was probably the logical way to follow. Even when he disappointed everyone, there was no one better than himself to know that he would never be fitting to be a mafia boss. “If I hate it I should just run away”
…
It was refreshing being around someone who didn’t expect anything from you. A person you could tell what you really thought to and so he did because there was this need to empty the vessel before it became shards. He probably thought the same as he raised his voice to talk about his family which he had never done.
“But there are times when I feel like I could be friends with you. Tsuna-kun is different from other scary mafia people” he stared at him assimilating his words, his eyes wide and his mouth agape.
“I-I already consider us friends. Even without the ceremony, I really think it’s great we were able to meet each other” Sincerity conveyed in his face and voice. Enma was astounded, his expression made Tsuna smile wider.
He wondered if Enma was able to feel it too… that sensation of finally heading somewhere, with someone enjoying the ride with you.
But there was a tremor afterwards.
Nothing fell back on its place again. His crimson eyes told him nothing ever would either.
Kozato Enma stood impassive like an emperor while all those Tsuna cared about fell to his feet. “Tsuna-kun, you better worry about yourself” Tsuna was pulled against the ceiling, the taste of blood invading his mouth.
He fell, but this time there was no one with him; there was nothing but the blurry sight of feet walking away.
…
It was one of life’s biggest tragedies, he thought: hurting and being hurt by those you love.
With that thought in mind, he brought his flame forth as his… - he didn’t even know what Enma was to him anymore - looked down at him. A mixture of despair, anger and pain made his eyes gleam redder.
It felt like being pulled near fire; the suffocating heat crawling down his skin, but knowing he wasn’t burning quite yet.
Every punch landed with might and every word was spouted with scorn and eventual sorrow.
“When humans have power, they use it rashly. The mafia, school bullies… they’re all the same”
He realized now just how true that statement was.
“You are the son of Sawada Iemitsu, the man who murdered my parents and my sister” he tried to refute it, deny it, make him see it was impossible, but there was nothing he could say as his body went numb.
And he took every rage filled strike; he took them as if he could solve anything by it. But he didn’t.
Enma broke under his own power. He was lying on the ground, blood on his face, tears in his eyes. “Tsunayoshi… how could you? My sister… Give me back Mami…”
He felt the despair conveyed in those words reaching his very core.
The sky and the earth never meet, even when they seemed to do so in the horizon. Perhaps, that’s how it always had to be.
It was a tragedy, indeed.
There was also a black hole dismissing everything.
It was holding water in your hands and expecting not to slip away. It was a misleading flickering light pretending to shed normal brightness. It was the vessel in shards.
Tsuna was being drawn, even when a ghost had taken Enma’s place.
He wasn’t listening. He was repeating his name like a prayer. His killing intent was blatant and intoxicating “Please, leave this to me” he requested. Words of protest arose. “It’s ok. Enma’s going to be fine” he said more to himself than to those present.
He would do anything he needed to in order to bring him back.
But he was pulled.
I don’t want to be alone, I’m so alone. No one here…
Not so long ago, Tsuna had been lonely. Even when he had set a barrier of resignation between himself and the world, the loneliness was still there. Then Reborn had come along and turned his world upside down; he had made it noisier, more dangerous, more hectic… happier.
He had seen the members of the Shimon Family fall one by one, most of them grateful towards their boss; all of them united by pain, but now they were all gone.
Help me! I don’t want to be alone…
“I’m here” he uttered as loud as he could, waiting for his words to pierce through his skull. He meant it; for him he would always mean it “Here I am”, Enma stopped for some seconds until his eyes were tinted with the crimson he always knew.
“Tsuna-kun!” he called out, “just like Vongola primo, you didn’t betray me”
But the hunger of that black hole was greater than both their powers.
“I’m going to save you. I’m going to do it” it was an oath.
…
And in the end, there’s darkness
His broken digits moved slowly over the sheets. Tsuna looked up to find him slightly writhing. He was cringing as sweat drops traveled down his forehead.
Tsuna stood up and stared at him closely. Enma started mumbling incomprehensible words; he remembered being told that he used to do that when he was younger. He also remembered his mother’s cure.
He leaned over him, his right hand removing damped locks, to then dig in red hair and find its way to his cheek. He pressed his forehead against his and closed his eyes.
“I’m here” he whispered, Enma ceased to move at the sound of his voice, Tsuna smiled, “I’ll always be here” he placed a light kiss on his forehead, “always”
He meant it; for him, he would always mean it.