HAHAHAHA I HAD TO FUCKING POST THIS!
The Mr Insult Show : Episode 12 : "Fucking Trailer Trash Inbreds!"
[The crowd starts chanting "Mr Insult! You're a Cunt"]
Mr Insult: Tonight on my fucking great show we have a chuffing fantastic episode in store! That fucking twat Amy is here to finally confess something to his fuckwit chum, Alicia. So come on you useless trailer trash fuckers, let's hear it for the fucking shithead, Amy!
[The crowd whoops and hollers, swearing profusely]
Mr Insult: Okay, now Amy you're here to talk about some cunt or another, aren't you?
You: Yes.
Mr Insult: And who is the desperate loser you want to talk about?
You: James.
[The crowd squeals with delight]
Mr Insult: OK, fuckface, great news - James, is actually here tonight ...
[The crowd squeals]
Mr Insult: But first we have a fucking great surprise for you Amy, because there's some other fucker here to see you! So let's bring out this complete cunt ... Kitten!
You: What the fucking arsing chuffing cunting heck?!!!
[Suddenly you pull out a Melon. Kitten reaches for the Bed. As the crowd pisses themselves with laughter, Will appears from out of the shadows]
Will: Wait you fucking tossers....
Mr Insult: Yes, come on you pitiful fame-desperate inbreds, calm down for a minute. Now, Kitten you look like a right useless cunt. Why are you here?.
Kitten: Because I saw Amy and Will fucking the arse off each other out at the The Podger!
[The crowd turns nauseous at the thought of those two Bug Uglies exchanging bodily fluids]
Will: You cunting lying shithead! I was home watching The Mighty Boosh!
Mr Insult: [flashing the vick and trying to feel up the ladies in the crowd] Look you gormless, moronic shithead... what exactly is the problem Kitten?
Kitten: Well, I've recently been having filthy animal sex with Alicia who has recently become engaged to Will.
[The crowd joins in with a rousing chorus of 'You're a Slack Cunt!']
Mr Insult: Really? Right up the tradesman's entrance, eh? Saucy! Well why don't we bring Alicia out here because Amy had something that they needed to tell them anyway about James
Alicia: [strolls on stage and walks towards you ] What's the fucking deal, you cunt? I saw you outside getting it on with James! You know how I feel about that fucking hopeless fuckwit tosser James!
Will: [screams] What? Why the shitting hell did you fucking ask me to fucking marry you if you're in love with that fuckface weasel James!
Alicia: Because I knew that I could never shag James. But Amy promised me that they'd never fuck each other out of respect for my feelings!
Will: What about respect for my feelings you useless piece of shit!
[Kitten walks suddenly across the stage, and tries to get jiggy with Alicia]
Kitten: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of those useless fuckwits now that you have me.
[The crowd laughs at the pitiful specimens on stage and unites in a thunderous chant of, 'Deck the fucking cunt!']
Will: You cunting fishfaced fuckhead! Are you fucking sick!?
[Will runs across the room and starts rubbing up against you in a sexual manner]
Will: Amy take me away from all of fucking bullshit!
You: You see? That's the fuckin problem you useless divvy. I'm fucking married.
[The crowd hurls general abuse as Mr Insult does exaggerated wanking motion]
Will: Cunting married, you fuck?
[You nod]
Will: Who the fuck are you married to you fucking lying bullshitting twat? When ... when the fuck did this happen? I don't bollocking understand!
You: The other day you clueless shithead. In Splott, Cardiff. I'm married to James.
Alicia: [screaming] YOU FUCKING WHAT?!!
Mr Insult: [grinning widely, and sliding his hand up a girl in the audiences skirt] So ... did you have a fucking great wedding night and and get loads of botty action with spunk flying everywhere and ... and.... and...?
James: [giving exaggerated fucking action] Well, we fucked like a pair of randy ferrets on acid 17 times if that's what you mean.
[The crowd squeals, girl discovers Mr Insult's hand and slaps him in the face]
Mr Insult: Okay, okay. So let me get this all bollocks straight you useless fuckers ... Amy is married to James who Alicia has secretly been shagging with for years and years. Now Alicia has recently become engaged to Will who was recently spotted fucking Amy in The Podger. Now on top of this, Kitten has just admitted to being in an arse-fucking relationship with Alicia.
James: That's fucking right Mr Insult.
Mr Insult: [looking sternly into the camera] It's times like these that I wonder why I bother sharing the stage with such a bunch of publicity-hungry fuckwits. Just look at them: a useless bunch of inbred clowns who will do anything to appear on a show as shitty as mine. But I don't give a fuck because I get paid to do this shit!
Now, Ladies and Gentlemen, it's time for Mr Insult's Final Thought, and I say ..... fuck off you useless bunch of cunts!
Thanks for watching folks - it's been great - now fuck off you useless bag of inbred losers.
[Cue cheesy background music and fade to black]
Hahahaha!!! What the fuck?! Kitten apparently doing Alicia up the arse while I shag Will in a shitty pub? But Will looks like a tippee cup!
The crowd starts chanting "Mr Insult! You're a Cunt"]
Mr Insult: Tonight on my fucking great show we have a chuffing fantastic episode in store! That fucking twat Synyster Gates is here to finally confess something to his fuckwit chum, Zacky Vengeance. So come on you useless trailer trash fuckers, let's hear it for the fucking shithead, Synyster Gates!
[The crowd whoops and hollers, swearing profusely]
Mr Insult: Okay, now Synyster Gates you're here to talk about some cunt or another, aren't you?
You: Yes.
Mr Insult: And who is the desperate loser you want to talk about?
You: Marta Peterson.
[The crowd squeals with delight]
Mr Insult: OK, fuckface, great news - Marta Peterson, is actually here tonight ...
[The crowd squeals]
Mr Insult: But first we have a fucking great surprise for you Synyster Gates, because there's some other fucker here to see you! So let's bring out this complete cunt ... Johnny Christ!
You: What the fucking arsing chuffing cunting heck?!!!
[Suddenly you pull out a Banana. Johnny Christ reaches for the Dildo-Chair. As the crowd pisses themselves with laughter, Valary DiBenedetto appears from out of the shadows]
Valary DiBenedetto: Wait you fucking tossers....
Mr Insult: Yes, come on you pitiful fame-desperate inbreds, calm down for a minute. Now, Johnny Christ you look like a right useless cunt. Why are you here?.
Johnny Christ: Because I saw Synyster Gates and Valary DiBenedetto fucking the arse off each other out at the Red Lion!
[The crowd turns nauseous at the thought of those two Bug Uglies exchanging bodily fluids]
Valary DiBenedetto: You cunting lying shithead! I was home watching Jam!
Mr Insult: [flashing the vick and trying to feel up the ladies in the crowd] Look you gormless, moronic shithead... what exactly is the problem Johnny Christ?
Johnny Christ: Well, I've recently been having filthy animal sex with Zacky Vengeance who has recently become engaged to Valary DiBenedetto.
[The crowd joins in with a rousing chorus of 'You're a Slack Cunt!']
Mr Insult: Really? Right up the tradesman's entrance, eh? Saucy! Well why don't we bring Zacky Vengeance out here because Synyster Gates had something that they needed to tell them anyway about Marta Peterson
Zacky Vengeance: [strolls on stage and walks towards you ] What's the fucking deal, you cunt? I saw you outside getting it on with Marta Peterson! You know how I feel about that fucking hopeless fuckwit tosser Marta Peterson!
Valary DiBenedetto: [screams] What? Why the shitting hell did you fucking ask me to fucking marry you if you're in love with that fuckface weasel Marta Peterson!
Zacky Vengeance: Because I knew that I could never shag Marta Peterson. But Synyster Gates promised me that they'd never fuck each other out of respect for my feelings!
Valary DiBenedetto: What about respect for my feelings you useless piece of shit!
[Johnny Christ walks suddenly across the stage, and tries to get jiggy with Zacky Vengeance]
Johnny Christ: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of those useless fuckwits now that you have me.
[The crowd laughs at the pitiful specimens on stage and unites in a thunderous chant of, 'Deck the fucking cunt!']
Valary DiBenedetto: You cunting fishfaced fuckhead! Are you fucking sick!?
[Valary DiBenedetto runs across the room and starts rubbing up against you in a sexual manner]
Valary DiBenedetto: Synyster Gates take me away from all of fucking bullshit!
You: You see? That's the fuckin problem you useless divvy. I'm fucking married.
[The crowd hurls general abuse as Mr Insult does exaggerated wanking motion]
Valary DiBenedetto: Cunting married, you fuck?
[You nod]
Valary DiBenedetto: Who the fuck are you married to you fucking lying bullshitting twat? When ... when the fuck did this happen? I don't bollocking understand!
You: The other day you clueless shithead. In Splott, Cardiff. I'm married to Marta Peterson.
Zacky Vengeance: [screaming] YOU FUCKING WHAT?!!
Mr Insult: [grinning widely, and sliding his hand up a girl in the audiences skirt] So ... did you have a fucking great wedding night and and get loads of botty action with spunk flying everywhere and ... and.... and...?
Marta Peterson: [giving exaggerated fucking action] Well, we fucked like a pair of randy ferrets on acid 12 times if that's what you mean.
[The crowd squeals, girl discovers Mr Insult's hand and slaps him in the face]
Mr Insult: Okay, okay. So let me get this all bollocks straight you useless fuckers ... Synyster Gates is married to Marta Peterson who Zacky Vengeance has secretly been shagging with for years and years. Now Zacky Vengeance has recently become engaged to Valary DiBenedetto who was recently spotted fucking Synyster Gates in Red Lion. Now on top of this, Johnny Christ has just admitted to being in an arse-fucking relationship with Zacky Vengeance.
Marta Peterson: That's fucking right Mr Insult.
Mr Insult: [looking sternly into the camera] It's times like these that I wonder why I bother sharing the stage with such a bunch of publicity-hungry fuckwits. Just look at them: a useless bunch of inbred clowns who will do anything to appear on a show as shitty as mine. But I don't give a fuck because I get paid to do this shit!
Now, Ladies and Gentlemen, it's time for Mr Insult's Final Thought, and I say ..... fuck off you useless bunch of cunts!
Thanks for watching folks - it's been great - now fuck off you useless bag of inbred losers.
[The crowd starts chanting "Mr Insult! You're a Cunt"]
Mr Insult: Tonight on my fucking great show we have a chuffing fantastic episode in store! That fucking twat Amy is here to finally confess something to his fuckwit chum, Alicia. So come on you useless trailer trash fuckers, let's hear it for the fucking shithead, Amy!
[The crowd whoops and hollers, swearing profusely]
Mr Insult: Okay, now Amy you're here to talk about some cunt or another, aren't you?
You: Yes.
Mr Insult: And who is the desperate loser you want to talk about?
You: James.
[The crowd squeals with delight]
Mr Insult: OK, fuckface, great news - James, is actually here tonight ...
[The crowd squeals]
Mr Insult: But first we have a fucking great surprise for you Amy, because there's some other fucker here to see you! So let's bring out this complete cunt ... Kitten!
You: What the fucking arsing chuffing cunting heck?!!!
[Suddenly you pull out a Melon. Kitten reaches for the Bed. As the crowd pisses themselves with laughter, Will appears from out of the shadows]
Will: Wait you fucking tossers....
Mr Insult: Yes, come on you pitiful fame-desperate inbreds, calm down for a minute. Now, Kitten you look like a right useless cunt. Why are you here?.
Kitten: Because I saw Amy and Will fucking the arse off each other out at the The Podger!
[The crowd turns nauseous at the thought of those two Bug Uglies exchanging bodily fluids]
Will: You cunting lying shithead! I was home watching The Mighty Boosh!
Mr Insult: [flashing the vick and trying to feel up the ladies in the crowd] Look you gormless, moronic shithead... what exactly is the problem Kitten?
Kitten: Well, I've recently been having filthy animal sex with Alicia who has recently become engaged to Will.
[The crowd joins in with a rousing chorus of 'You're a Slack Cunt!']
Mr Insult: Really? Right up the tradesman's entrance, eh? Saucy! Well why don't we bring Alicia out here because Amy had something that they needed to tell them anyway about James
Alicia: [strolls on stage and walks towards you ] What's the fucking deal, you cunt? I saw you outside getting it on with James! You know how I feel about that fucking hopeless fuckwit tosser James!
Will: [screams] What? Why the shitting hell did you fucking ask me to fucking marry you if you're in love with that fuckface weasel James!
Alicia: Because I knew that I could never shag James. But Amy promised me that they'd never fuck each other out of respect for my feelings!
Will: What about respect for my feelings you useless piece of shit!
[Kitten walks suddenly across the stage, and tries to get jiggy with Alicia]
Kitten: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of those useless fuckwits now that you have me.
[The crowd laughs at the pitiful specimens on stage and unites in a thunderous chant of, 'Deck the fucking cunt!']
Will: You cunting fishfaced fuckhead! Are you fucking sick!?
[Will runs across the room and starts rubbing up against you in a sexual manner]
Will: Amy take me away from all of fucking bullshit!
You: You see? That's the fuckin problem you useless divvy. I'm fucking married.
[The crowd hurls general abuse as Mr Insult does exaggerated wanking motion]
Will: Cunting married, you fuck?
[You nod]
Will: Who the fuck are you married to you fucking lying bullshitting twat? When ... when the fuck did this happen? I don't bollocking understand!
You: The other day you clueless shithead. In Splott, Cardiff. I'm married to James.
Alicia: [screaming] YOU FUCKING WHAT?!!
Mr Insult: [grinning widely, and sliding his hand up a girl in the audiences skirt] So ... did you have a fucking great wedding night and and get loads of botty action with spunk flying everywhere and ... and.... and...?
James: [giving exaggerated fucking action] Well, we fucked like a pair of randy ferrets on acid 17 times if that's what you mean.
[The crowd squeals, girl discovers Mr Insult's hand and slaps him in the face]
Mr Insult: Okay, okay. So let me get this all bollocks straight you useless fuckers ... Amy is married to James who Alicia has secretly been shagging with for years and years. Now Alicia has recently become engaged to Will who was recently spotted fucking Amy in The Podger. Now on top of this, Kitten has just admitted to being in an arse-fucking relationship with Alicia.
James: That's fucking right Mr Insult.
Mr Insult: [looking sternly into the camera] It's times like these that I wonder why I bother sharing the stage with such a bunch of publicity-hungry fuckwits. Just look at them: a useless bunch of inbred clowns who will do anything to appear on a show as shitty as mine. But I don't give a fuck because I get paid to do this shit!
Now, Ladies and Gentlemen, it's time for Mr Insult's Final Thought, and I say ..... fuck off you useless bunch of cunts!
Thanks for watching folks - it's been great - now fuck off you useless bag of inbred losers.
[Cue cheesy background music and fade to black]
Hahahaha!!! What the fuck?! Kitten apparently doing Alicia up the arse while I shag Will in a shitty pub? But Will looks like a tippee cup!
The crowd starts chanting "Mr Insult! You're a Cunt"]
Mr Insult: Tonight on my fucking great show we have a chuffing fantastic episode in store! That fucking twat Synyster Gates is here to finally confess something to his fuckwit chum, Zacky Vengeance. So come on you useless trailer trash fuckers, let's hear it for the fucking shithead, Synyster Gates!
[The crowd whoops and hollers, swearing profusely]
Mr Insult: Okay, now Synyster Gates you're here to talk about some cunt or another, aren't you?
You: Yes.
Mr Insult: And who is the desperate loser you want to talk about?
You: Marta Peterson.
[The crowd squeals with delight]
Mr Insult: OK, fuckface, great news - Marta Peterson, is actually here tonight ...
[The crowd squeals]
Mr Insult: But first we have a fucking great surprise for you Synyster Gates, because there's some other fucker here to see you! So let's bring out this complete cunt ... Johnny Christ!
You: What the fucking arsing chuffing cunting heck?!!!
[Suddenly you pull out a Banana. Johnny Christ reaches for the Dildo-Chair. As the crowd pisses themselves with laughter, Valary DiBenedetto appears from out of the shadows]
Valary DiBenedetto: Wait you fucking tossers....
Mr Insult: Yes, come on you pitiful fame-desperate inbreds, calm down for a minute. Now, Johnny Christ you look like a right useless cunt. Why are you here?.
Johnny Christ: Because I saw Synyster Gates and Valary DiBenedetto fucking the arse off each other out at the Red Lion!
[The crowd turns nauseous at the thought of those two Bug Uglies exchanging bodily fluids]
Valary DiBenedetto: You cunting lying shithead! I was home watching Jam!
Mr Insult: [flashing the vick and trying to feel up the ladies in the crowd] Look you gormless, moronic shithead... what exactly is the problem Johnny Christ?
Johnny Christ: Well, I've recently been having filthy animal sex with Zacky Vengeance who has recently become engaged to Valary DiBenedetto.
[The crowd joins in with a rousing chorus of 'You're a Slack Cunt!']
Mr Insult: Really? Right up the tradesman's entrance, eh? Saucy! Well why don't we bring Zacky Vengeance out here because Synyster Gates had something that they needed to tell them anyway about Marta Peterson
Zacky Vengeance: [strolls on stage and walks towards you ] What's the fucking deal, you cunt? I saw you outside getting it on with Marta Peterson! You know how I feel about that fucking hopeless fuckwit tosser Marta Peterson!
Valary DiBenedetto: [screams] What? Why the shitting hell did you fucking ask me to fucking marry you if you're in love with that fuckface weasel Marta Peterson!
Zacky Vengeance: Because I knew that I could never shag Marta Peterson. But Synyster Gates promised me that they'd never fuck each other out of respect for my feelings!
Valary DiBenedetto: What about respect for my feelings you useless piece of shit!
[Johnny Christ walks suddenly across the stage, and tries to get jiggy with Zacky Vengeance]
Johnny Christ: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of those useless fuckwits now that you have me.
[The crowd laughs at the pitiful specimens on stage and unites in a thunderous chant of, 'Deck the fucking cunt!']
Valary DiBenedetto: You cunting fishfaced fuckhead! Are you fucking sick!?
[Valary DiBenedetto runs across the room and starts rubbing up against you in a sexual manner]
Valary DiBenedetto: Synyster Gates take me away from all of fucking bullshit!
You: You see? That's the fuckin problem you useless divvy. I'm fucking married.
[The crowd hurls general abuse as Mr Insult does exaggerated wanking motion]
Valary DiBenedetto: Cunting married, you fuck?
[You nod]
Valary DiBenedetto: Who the fuck are you married to you fucking lying bullshitting twat? When ... when the fuck did this happen? I don't bollocking understand!
You: The other day you clueless shithead. In Splott, Cardiff. I'm married to Marta Peterson.
Zacky Vengeance: [screaming] YOU FUCKING WHAT?!!
Mr Insult: [grinning widely, and sliding his hand up a girl in the audiences skirt] So ... did you have a fucking great wedding night and and get loads of botty action with spunk flying everywhere and ... and.... and...?
Marta Peterson: [giving exaggerated fucking action] Well, we fucked like a pair of randy ferrets on acid 12 times if that's what you mean.
[The crowd squeals, girl discovers Mr Insult's hand and slaps him in the face]
Mr Insult: Okay, okay. So let me get this all bollocks straight you useless fuckers ... Synyster Gates is married to Marta Peterson who Zacky Vengeance has secretly been shagging with for years and years. Now Zacky Vengeance has recently become engaged to Valary DiBenedetto who was recently spotted fucking Synyster Gates in Red Lion. Now on top of this, Johnny Christ has just admitted to being in an arse-fucking relationship with Zacky Vengeance.
Marta Peterson: That's fucking right Mr Insult.
Mr Insult: [looking sternly into the camera] It's times like these that I wonder why I bother sharing the stage with such a bunch of publicity-hungry fuckwits. Just look at them: a useless bunch of inbred clowns who will do anything to appear on a show as shitty as mine. But I don't give a fuck because I get paid to do this shit!
Now, Ladies and Gentlemen, it's time for Mr Insult's Final Thought, and I say ..... fuck off you useless bunch of cunts!
Thanks for watching folks - it's been great - now fuck off you useless bag of inbred losers.