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It was raining last night/this morning and it was about 1:15am when Jaime got up to let Tom in because it was taking him forever to open the door and the dog was barking enough to wake everyone up inside...or maybe that was earlier and we just woke up because it was hot and we were parched. Either way we woke up just to hear my phone vibrating.
I reached for it because it was late and it's usually important when someone is trying to get a hold of me at such an hour on a Tuesday night. It was Chris, I didn't mind reading what he said to me to Jaime because it wasn't anything extremely personal and I knew Jaime would agree with my opinion on the matter. It said something like I have this great girlfriend except she smokes weed and I don't like being around people who are high and I don't know if I am out of line to say something to her about it.
I guess when I first thought about it I didn't even think about the situation that happened at the beginning of mine and Jaime's relationship, it was dealing with drinking/partying and not smoking/getting high but it was pretty much the same situation. Jaime, before we had started dating, told me if I drank and partied that he wouldn't date me. Not because it was a personal attack or because he was trying to be controlling over what I could choose or not choose to do and not even because he was saying I'm going to leave you if you drink. But because he knew what he was looking for in a girlfriend and it wasn't someone who drank or partied or did any of that stuff. He just doesn't like to be around drunk girls, so why would he date someone who drank if he doesn't like to be around that?
Honestly, I'm not sure why I took it so personally before. I felt threatened and I felt like he was trying to control me...however, it isn't as though I go to parties or drink...ever so I don't know why my panties were in such a bunch over it at the time. I made it seem like he was the bag guy when he wasn't. Now, I don't drink because it's a personal choice I made before I even met Jaime. Drinking and partying is something I use to do and a lot of it and it just isn't who I am anymore and to be honest I'm glad that Jaime wouldn't want to be with me if I did that because I know I probably wouldn't want to be with him if he did that either.
I gave Chris my honest opinion on the situation. I said he had the right to say something to her about it, to make her choose between dating him and getting high. If she respects him and cares about him enough then he should be more important to her than getting high and she should understand that it's nothing personal with her. I told him that he just knew the type of person he wanted to date and he in the right to hope that she would still turn out to be the type of girl he wanted to be with.
I reached for it because it was late and it's usually important when someone is trying to get a hold of me at such an hour on a Tuesday night. It was Chris, I didn't mind reading what he said to me to Jaime because it wasn't anything extremely personal and I knew Jaime would agree with my opinion on the matter. It said something like I have this great girlfriend except she smokes weed and I don't like being around people who are high and I don't know if I am out of line to say something to her about it.
I guess when I first thought about it I didn't even think about the situation that happened at the beginning of mine and Jaime's relationship, it was dealing with drinking/partying and not smoking/getting high but it was pretty much the same situation. Jaime, before we had started dating, told me if I drank and partied that he wouldn't date me. Not because it was a personal attack or because he was trying to be controlling over what I could choose or not choose to do and not even because he was saying I'm going to leave you if you drink. But because he knew what he was looking for in a girlfriend and it wasn't someone who drank or partied or did any of that stuff. He just doesn't like to be around drunk girls, so why would he date someone who drank if he doesn't like to be around that?
Honestly, I'm not sure why I took it so personally before. I felt threatened and I felt like he was trying to control me...however, it isn't as though I go to parties or drink...ever so I don't know why my panties were in such a bunch over it at the time. I made it seem like he was the bag guy when he wasn't. Now, I don't drink because it's a personal choice I made before I even met Jaime. Drinking and partying is something I use to do and a lot of it and it just isn't who I am anymore and to be honest I'm glad that Jaime wouldn't want to be with me if I did that because I know I probably wouldn't want to be with him if he did that either.
I gave Chris my honest opinion on the situation. I said he had the right to say something to her about it, to make her choose between dating him and getting high. If she respects him and cares about him enough then he should be more important to her than getting high and she should understand that it's nothing personal with her. I told him that he just knew the type of person he wanted to date and he in the right to hope that she would still turn out to be the type of girl he wanted to be with.