Wow.
I keep fucking doing it - haven't posted since the last day of school. Well, a lot has happened. My love for Monsieur Beau has yet to leave me, it seems, and it isn't just a crush. I don't think I've ever been so fascinated, or attracted, to another living being. I write stories and drabbles and random thoughts down for and about him like crazy. He's all I can think about, and I swear that I'll cry if he gives me the slightest idea that he wants me to leave, dislikes me, or thinks I'm boring. If I displease him, I feel like a terrible mess. Scary. I don't really understand it or why I'm like this all of a sudden. :/
I saw him a couple of times, but it's been at least two weeks since then. I went on a vacation to this really stupid island that:
- has no internet
- is full of wild horses
- has no electric after ten
- is nothing but camping
- requires you to bathe outside in MOSQUITO LAND
- is, by the way, a mosquito fucking PARADISE
Yeah. Mhm. I hear that in the time I was gone to that horrid place, he cut off his hair. I haven't seen it, there are no pictures, either, but I was informed. Cassy told me. (I'm no longer friends with her as of...July 9, 2008.) I cried. I loved his hair.
I've been hanging around Brigantine, mom flipped out and there was a Gary-Mom War II. UGH. I got in trouble because I was related to him? I dunno. Dad eventually got me out of it and I ended up going to Brigantine. Where...I went to Cassy's, she mooched, Alex said "hell no" and took me to the movies in his new car with him and Albert. We saw Wall-E. Haha. Cute. :3
But yah. I ended up sleeping, for two whole glorious hours, at Alex's house and then we hung out with Mark at his place. We wanted to see Doug, but he wasn't home. It was lame. I miss that gay bastard so much! Pshh. And then...apparently, my ass looks good in dark laid-back hickgirl jeans that're tucked into my combat boots? Mark went all uber defensive and flipped shit over some redheaded kid who stared at my ass, and apparently circled around to look again several times, while I was talking to Jess from EHT at the coffee counter. (She works at the EHT Wawa, yes, yes she does.)
Um...that was about it. Oh. I helped him move out of his house and got to drive his gorgeous Saturn Aura XE before the trip. I love that car - even if it is red. And it's way better than his stupid Ford Explorer. It drives smoothly, runs quietly for being a car, and is pretty damn clean. I wish I could be as organized and clean as he is for just a week. I can only fathom half of the shit I'd manage to get done! Haha. But then again...it's like me wishing I could bathe in the sun like he does and run and exercise and actually enjoy it. Man, I couldn't. Ever. Not only would I fry, but I'd keel over and just...die. I don't run, or swim, or jog, or work out, or anything. I eat chocolate, used to drink Monster Energy like crazy, and smoked cigarettes. Which, he told me, if you all remember, not to ever do again. Ever.
Gah! I don't just crush on him, like him, respect him, or idolize him. I look up to him, admire him, adore him, and love him. He makes me smile or cry with the tiniest things, and nobody else has ever done it like HE does it. Holly still makes me feel better, but not like he does. He can even make me fidget, and even look away, if our eyes meet. Every time I'm around him, I know it's difficult since it's hard for me to admit it, my heart races and I hold my breath while he speaks. He is so important to me, it's ridiculous. And I can't have him and he doesn't know. I don't have the heart to mention it. Any of it - of this. He's amazing, and I can't live without him. I'll love him, do anything for him, even if it means never speaking to him or seeing him again. Because that is how he truly affects me.
Devvie-chan, sorry about earlier. Congrats on getting a new LiveJournal account! If you're viewing this, you most likely already know that I left you a comment in your first entry. I think your daddy is scary...but a different type of scary than my daddy. He apparently has beaten up many of my friends' dads and uncles. Terrible! Hahaha. He told me that he met up with guys who used to pay for him as a bodyguard. In school. And how they said they remembered when he would beat the living daylights out of people for looking at him hard. How...funny, amazing, and humiliating. .____.'
My cousin Cindy is coming up for Labor Day, I hope. Rock on. <3
<33 Al
I saw him a couple of times, but it's been at least two weeks since then. I went on a vacation to this really stupid island that:
- has no internet
- is full of wild horses
- has no electric after ten
- is nothing but camping
- requires you to bathe outside in MOSQUITO LAND
- is, by the way, a mosquito fucking PARADISE
Yeah. Mhm. I hear that in the time I was gone to that horrid place, he cut off his hair. I haven't seen it, there are no pictures, either, but I was informed. Cassy told me. (I'm no longer friends with her as of...July 9, 2008.) I cried. I loved his hair.
I've been hanging around Brigantine, mom flipped out and there was a Gary-Mom War II. UGH. I got in trouble because I was related to him? I dunno. Dad eventually got me out of it and I ended up going to Brigantine. Where...I went to Cassy's, she mooched, Alex said "hell no" and took me to the movies in his new car with him and Albert. We saw Wall-E. Haha. Cute. :3
But yah. I ended up sleeping, for two whole glorious hours, at Alex's house and then we hung out with Mark at his place. We wanted to see Doug, but he wasn't home. It was lame. I miss that gay bastard so much! Pshh. And then...apparently, my ass looks good in dark laid-back hickgirl jeans that're tucked into my combat boots? Mark went all uber defensive and flipped shit over some redheaded kid who stared at my ass, and apparently circled around to look again several times, while I was talking to Jess from EHT at the coffee counter. (She works at the EHT Wawa, yes, yes she does.)
Um...that was about it. Oh. I helped him move out of his house and got to drive his gorgeous Saturn Aura XE before the trip. I love that car - even if it is red. And it's way better than his stupid Ford Explorer. It drives smoothly, runs quietly for being a car, and is pretty damn clean. I wish I could be as organized and clean as he is for just a week. I can only fathom half of the shit I'd manage to get done! Haha. But then again...it's like me wishing I could bathe in the sun like he does and run and exercise and actually enjoy it. Man, I couldn't. Ever. Not only would I fry, but I'd keel over and just...die. I don't run, or swim, or jog, or work out, or anything. I eat chocolate, used to drink Monster Energy like crazy, and smoked cigarettes. Which, he told me, if you all remember, not to ever do again. Ever.
Gah! I don't just crush on him, like him, respect him, or idolize him. I look up to him, admire him, adore him, and love him. He makes me smile or cry with the tiniest things, and nobody else has ever done it like HE does it. Holly still makes me feel better, but not like he does. He can even make me fidget, and even look away, if our eyes meet. Every time I'm around him, I know it's difficult since it's hard for me to admit it, my heart races and I hold my breath while he speaks. He is so important to me, it's ridiculous. And I can't have him and he doesn't know. I don't have the heart to mention it. Any of it - of this. He's amazing, and I can't live without him. I'll love him, do anything for him, even if it means never speaking to him or seeing him again. Because that is how he truly affects me.
Devvie-chan, sorry about earlier. Congrats on getting a new LiveJournal account! If you're viewing this, you most likely already know that I left you a comment in your first entry. I think your daddy is scary...but a different type of scary than my daddy. He apparently has beaten up many of my friends' dads and uncles. Terrible! Hahaha. He told me that he met up with guys who used to pay for him as a bodyguard. In school. And how they said they remembered when he would beat the living daylights out of people for looking at him hard. How...funny, amazing, and humiliating. .____.'
My cousin Cindy is coming up for Labor Day, I hope. Rock on. <3
<33 Al