Safety at conventions (and other relevant things in SFF)
So, the Nine Worlds Geek Fest was pretty damn excellent, with a heavy emphasis on family-friendly fun. There were some adults-only sessions, focussing on writing erotica etc, but pretty much all other sessions were open access (and some were especially aimed at the younger attendees). The organisers therefore had a pretty heavy emphasis on safety and on making sure that people didn't feel threatened. I can't speak for anyone else, but I stopped going to conventions after it became patently clear that there was pretty much a free-for-all with respect to sexual assault and heavily coercive behaviour.
Examples? Being forcibly kissed, touched, sat on someone's knee and petted (I'd say like a child, but I hope to god those someones have never touched a child in that way - let's say in an infantilising manner, at least), having someone try to spike my drink, having someone get furiously angry for "being a tease" and seek me out 10 years later to scream in my face and grab my arms, and - the classiest, by far - having someone get angry when I went off to talk to his friend, when he'd "spent so much" on me. Because, of course, I was available for purchase. I'm not even going to go into the straight-forward coercion, threatening behaviour and straight-up blackmail ("sleep with me or I'll kill myself") that so many con-goers seemed to indulge in.
At the time, I was too young to really understand what I was objecting to, other than knowing that I wasn't having fun anymore, and that I didn't really want to leave the safety of the hotel room. So I stopped attending: after all, there was no point paying for the privilege of being assaulted when it would happen walking down the street for free.
Nine Worlds was the first con I went to where I felt comfortable walking around on my own, wearing my own clothes. Previously, I'd wear elaborate, outlandish outfits - not cosplay, but something equally as involved - to ensure that I was visible (and that therefore people would notice if all of a sudden I wasn't in the room). At Nine Worlds, I was in jeans and a t-shirt, and a summer dress, and pretty much dressed as I would be to go to the shops. I was also comfortable being on my own. I'd convinced a work colleague to come along with me so I wouldn't be having to brave the sessions alone and be surrounded by people I didn't know, but actually, we separated for the majority of sessions and I was - shock! horror! - sitting in rooms with other fans, discussing things I was interested in and not feelign threatened.
I'm going to do a proper write-up of Nine Worlds later, and it's important to caveat that not everything worked, and of course my own feeling of safety doesn't translate to a universal feeling, but it's interesting that even someone as people- and con-phobic as me felt fairly comfortable staying up late in crowded, darkened rooms with strangers. I still stayed completely sober - my fear of being drunk and helpless in such crowded darkened rooms hasn't quite abated - but it was a step in the right direction.
Meanwhile, seanan_mcguire has featured done an amazing write up by Elise Matthesen of reporting sexual harassment at conventions. Go read it here. The contact and resource list for reporting sexual harassment in SF/F is here (also linked in Seanan's post). Carrie Cuinn also wrote on the experience of sexual harassment at cons and reporting it, here and here.
Also, you may have heard about the expulsion of odious Ted Beale from SFWA . NK Jemisin has written a blistering post on the racism and misogyny in SFF, including Ted Beale and the reactions of the SFWA board. Funny story - I recently unfriended someone on FB (someone I'd met at conventions) who started posting a long-winded and clearly pointless defence of 'traditional Britain' - i.e. he went off on one and started spewing anti-immigrant rhetoric. To which I responded by calling him out for the racist fuckwit he clearly is, and unfriended him. Job done? Well, some mutual friends continued posting on this status update, and so I continued receiving notifications of their comments... which included a heartfelt thanks that the SFF community was so together and so inclusive and so melting-pot-y... I had to go and sit on my hands for a bit.
No, you know what, it wasn't a funny story at all.
This entry was originally posted at DreamWidth. There are
comments there. Comments are welcome at either journal.
Examples? Being forcibly kissed, touched, sat on someone's knee and petted (I'd say like a child, but I hope to god those someones have never touched a child in that way - let's say in an infantilising manner, at least), having someone try to spike my drink, having someone get furiously angry for "being a tease" and seek me out 10 years later to scream in my face and grab my arms, and - the classiest, by far - having someone get angry when I went off to talk to his friend, when he'd "spent so much" on me. Because, of course, I was available for purchase. I'm not even going to go into the straight-forward coercion, threatening behaviour and straight-up blackmail ("sleep with me or I'll kill myself") that so many con-goers seemed to indulge in.
At the time, I was too young to really understand what I was objecting to, other than knowing that I wasn't having fun anymore, and that I didn't really want to leave the safety of the hotel room. So I stopped attending: after all, there was no point paying for the privilege of being assaulted when it would happen walking down the street for free.
Nine Worlds was the first con I went to where I felt comfortable walking around on my own, wearing my own clothes. Previously, I'd wear elaborate, outlandish outfits - not cosplay, but something equally as involved - to ensure that I was visible (and that therefore people would notice if all of a sudden I wasn't in the room). At Nine Worlds, I was in jeans and a t-shirt, and a summer dress, and pretty much dressed as I would be to go to the shops. I was also comfortable being on my own. I'd convinced a work colleague to come along with me so I wouldn't be having to brave the sessions alone and be surrounded by people I didn't know, but actually, we separated for the majority of sessions and I was - shock! horror! - sitting in rooms with other fans, discussing things I was interested in and not feelign threatened.
I'm going to do a proper write-up of Nine Worlds later, and it's important to caveat that not everything worked, and of course my own feeling of safety doesn't translate to a universal feeling, but it's interesting that even someone as people- and con-phobic as me felt fairly comfortable staying up late in crowded, darkened rooms with strangers. I still stayed completely sober - my fear of being drunk and helpless in such crowded darkened rooms hasn't quite abated - but it was a step in the right direction.
Meanwhile, seanan_mcguire has featured done an amazing write up by Elise Matthesen of reporting sexual harassment at conventions. Go read it here. The contact and resource list for reporting sexual harassment in SF/F is here (also linked in Seanan's post). Carrie Cuinn also wrote on the experience of sexual harassment at cons and reporting it, here and here.
Also, you may have heard about the expulsion of odious Ted Beale from SFWA . NK Jemisin has written a blistering post on the racism and misogyny in SFF, including Ted Beale and the reactions of the SFWA board. Funny story - I recently unfriended someone on FB (someone I'd met at conventions) who started posting a long-winded and clearly pointless defence of 'traditional Britain' - i.e. he went off on one and started spewing anti-immigrant rhetoric. To which I responded by calling him out for the racist fuckwit he clearly is, and unfriended him. Job done? Well, some mutual friends continued posting on this status update, and so I continued receiving notifications of their comments... which included a heartfelt thanks that the SFF community was so together and so inclusive and so melting-pot-y... I had to go and sit on my hands for a bit.
No, you know what, it wasn't a funny story at all.
This entry was originally posted at DreamWidth. There are
comments there. Comments are welcome at either journal.