Ugh!!! Terror Kitty Problems
On a lighter note: I leave for two months and come home to:
1) A house that smells like a stinky litterbox,
2) A formerly lithe, svelte kitty who now weighs TWICE what she did when I left; so fat she waddles.
3) Spouse complains that he puts out his back trying to pick Noodle up. He asked what is the fattest Italian pasta called? We must re-name her. I'm still pondering. . .
4) Goyangee, former super fatty, is now malnourished and bony. Why?! Noodle - BFK - stole her food too.
5) I spent twelve hours throwing out all our rugs, scrubbing the floors of the kitchen and bathroom with bleach, disinfecting everything in site, vacuuming like a mad housewife for hours - and we still had to escape to a hotel! WHY? The kitties' litter box had not been cleaned for over TWO WEEKS. They panicked - even though they were given TONS of food - because they had no water at all, and a deplorably filthy litter box that I had to scrub clean with bleach! ALL because our handyman - who OWNS cats - was too lazy and stupid to take care of them! So the kitties relieved themselves all over the place, including our bathtub.
6) G - who used to not give me the time of day - now clings to me for dear life; she is THAT terrified of being alone (with crazy Noodle stealing her food) again. G will need a kitty shrink to get over severe separation anxiety.
7) Noodle - or shall we say, Rigatoni (?) - will need Kitty WW (Weight Watchers)
So, for now Noodle is on a strict high-protein diet. And Spouse is trying to train her to use our elliptical trainer. And the house STILL smells super stinky! But, it's okay, I'm suing my landlord for being a horrible slumlord - and we're moving soon! Yay!!!
1) A house that smells like a stinky litterbox,
2) A formerly lithe, svelte kitty who now weighs TWICE what she did when I left; so fat she waddles.
3) Spouse complains that he puts out his back trying to pick Noodle up. He asked what is the fattest Italian pasta called? We must re-name her. I'm still pondering. . .
4) Goyangee, former super fatty, is now malnourished and bony. Why?! Noodle - BFK - stole her food too.
5) I spent twelve hours throwing out all our rugs, scrubbing the floors of the kitchen and bathroom with bleach, disinfecting everything in site, vacuuming like a mad housewife for hours - and we still had to escape to a hotel! WHY? The kitties' litter box had not been cleaned for over TWO WEEKS. They panicked - even though they were given TONS of food - because they had no water at all, and a deplorably filthy litter box that I had to scrub clean with bleach! ALL because our handyman - who OWNS cats - was too lazy and stupid to take care of them! So the kitties relieved themselves all over the place, including our bathtub.
6) G - who used to not give me the time of day - now clings to me for dear life; she is THAT terrified of being alone (with crazy Noodle stealing her food) again. G will need a kitty shrink to get over severe separation anxiety.
7) Noodle - or shall we say, Rigatoni (?) - will need Kitty WW (Weight Watchers)
So, for now Noodle is on a strict high-protein diet. And Spouse is trying to train her to use our elliptical trainer. And the house STILL smells super stinky! But, it's okay, I'm suing my landlord for being a horrible slumlord - and we're moving soon! Yay!!!