2010
Dear Journal,
So it's 2010. As happy as I am (thank you Unciaa and Ruadh for the great weekend!) I must say that I am disappointed. I do not own rocket boots or a hover car. My virtual reality goggles are still on back-order (and customer reviews claim that it gives one fucker of a headache.) I am still devoid of the access port in my neck that'd allow me to surf the net via lower brain-stem commands like an extra muscle, and I have not yet been green-lighted for the body-mod that'd add lush red fur and a tail. Not even counting all the above, my vacuum cleaner still plugs into the wall socket instead of running from an in-built nuclear reactor. I've heard you can only get those in Iran.
So far, 2010, you've failed to live up to a single promise the 80's and 90's made to me. I'm disappointed, and hurt. I trusted you to bring me levitating waffles, toast and other anti-gravity wheat and grain products. I counted on you to provide me with cheap, clean energy and cold fusion, and all you've given me so far is a useless towelhead who couldn't even light his own shoelaces.
I guess I shouldn't have had such high expectations, but is more of the same really you can offer us? I bet now you'll be telling us, akin to the story of the three billy goats, that we should just be waiting for your big brother 2020, who is bigger and tastier than you? Shame on you, 2010.
Shame on you.
-Fox
P.S. Tell your daddy 2000 that I want to thank him for Avatar. It was the perfect going-away gift.
So it's 2010. As happy as I am (thank you Unciaa and Ruadh for the great weekend!) I must say that I am disappointed. I do not own rocket boots or a hover car. My virtual reality goggles are still on back-order (and customer reviews claim that it gives one fucker of a headache.) I am still devoid of the access port in my neck that'd allow me to surf the net via lower brain-stem commands like an extra muscle, and I have not yet been green-lighted for the body-mod that'd add lush red fur and a tail. Not even counting all the above, my vacuum cleaner still plugs into the wall socket instead of running from an in-built nuclear reactor. I've heard you can only get those in Iran.
So far, 2010, you've failed to live up to a single promise the 80's and 90's made to me. I'm disappointed, and hurt. I trusted you to bring me levitating waffles, toast and other anti-gravity wheat and grain products. I counted on you to provide me with cheap, clean energy and cold fusion, and all you've given me so far is a useless towelhead who couldn't even light his own shoelaces.
I guess I shouldn't have had such high expectations, but is more of the same really you can offer us? I bet now you'll be telling us, akin to the story of the three billy goats, that we should just be waiting for your big brother 2020, who is bigger and tastier than you? Shame on you, 2010.
Shame on you.
-Fox
P.S. Tell your daddy 2000 that I want to thank him for Avatar. It was the perfect going-away gift.