Mixed Emotions
So, my last entry was kind of intense. Things have kind of just been the same since then. Nothing's really new, and now Tyler leaves for camp tomorrow. And while I'm glad he's going so he can have fun and I can actually have a life other than being with him all the time, I still feel like I'm going to miss him an unbearable amount.
But I know I'll get through it because seven days is nothing compared to seven weeks. And I have a lot to do while he's away. Register, back to school shopping, go visit Daddy, get a job, book driving lessons, get a job. It's an on going list. I kind of dread the week being over. But also kind of want it to be over really quick.
I'm a mess of emotions today, and I don't even know why. I'm hoping if I go to bed I'll feel better in the morning.
School starts soon. Ew.
On the whole boyfriend note, I guess I'm kind of torn because I don't really see the point in having a boyfriend in this part of my life. But I know I don't want to break up. I know I love him. And (I'm hoping) the steps we've made this summer will get us through the transition of back to school. But I can't be too sure and while I do trust him a lot more after everything we've been through, it's still not 100%. And I have no idea why. I have like an imaginary sheild up to protect me from getting hurt and no matter how hard I try, I can't get it back down. I feel like sometimes I do so well at letting him in and telling him what I feel and other times I'm like incapable. Which makes me frustrated and annoyed with myself and him, even though it's not his fault.
But I know I'll get through it because seven days is nothing compared to seven weeks. And I have a lot to do while he's away. Register, back to school shopping, go visit Daddy, get a job, book driving lessons, get a job. It's an on going list. I kind of dread the week being over. But also kind of want it to be over really quick.
I'm a mess of emotions today, and I don't even know why. I'm hoping if I go to bed I'll feel better in the morning.
School starts soon. Ew.
On the whole boyfriend note, I guess I'm kind of torn because I don't really see the point in having a boyfriend in this part of my life. But I know I don't want to break up. I know I love him. And (I'm hoping) the steps we've made this summer will get us through the transition of back to school. But I can't be too sure and while I do trust him a lot more after everything we've been through, it's still not 100%. And I have no idea why. I have like an imaginary sheild up to protect me from getting hurt and no matter how hard I try, I can't get it back down. I feel like sometimes I do so well at letting him in and telling him what I feel and other times I'm like incapable. Which makes me frustrated and annoyed with myself and him, even though it's not his fault.