AND THERE WAS MUCH REJOICING
First up, some excellent news:
REGINALD HUDLIN IS OFF THE BLACK PANTHER BOOK.
YES! Yes! And lo, there was rejoicing in the streets, warring tribes threw down their arms and embraced, kittens and puppies frolicked in luminous rays of sunshine throughout the land(s), Japan stopped Rule 34-ing the entire world, AND EVERYONE GOT CHOCOLATE.
You best believe that I'm not the only one rejoicing.
Now, can we get Christopher Priest and Kyle Baker (Baker with his new Hal Foster vibe) to be the new creative team for the book? Because that rotting pile of diseased offal known as Hudlin's racist!Doom needs to be retconned, as does all the bullshit about Wakandan matriarchs valuing their warrior sons more than their daughters and every single patronizing thing that T'Challa said to Storm and Monica Rambeau under Hudlin's pen.
You know, I actually with a lot of the opinions over on S_D 2.0 - so much damage has been to T'Challa's character by Hudlin that I don't know if any writer, no matter the skill, could fix it.
Sadly, the new writer on the book is Jonathan Maberry. I'm not sure what devilish and maleficient machinations resulted in Marvel editorial's decision to get a white horror writer with almost no experience writing comics to helm a book where the lead character (and said lead character's entire country) effortlessly pwns the entire world on a regular basis, but that's what they did. To add to the quelling unease in my stomach, remember when Hudlin sockpuppeted on a comics discussion board when people started to hate on his T'Challa?
Jonathan Maberry apparently takes a leaf from the same Book of Sockpuppetry.
...Not encouraging.
(Do we really need to have the "you do NOT fuck with T'Challa or Wakanda" talk again? Do we?)
So, solicits are out. I'll do a big SOOOOLICIT-O-RAMA post tomorrow, but I want to address something. Look at the solicit cover for Marvel Divas #2:
Marvel Divas #2 by Jelena Djurdjevic:
(For the non-comic peeps, the characters pictured -- clockwise from the top -- are Firestar, Black Cat, Hellcat, and Monica Rambeau/Photon/Captain Marvel #29473947).
This is undoubtedly a stunningly beauteous cover. It was done by Jelena Kevic Djurdjevic, who happens to be married to another favorite of mine, that being Marko Djurdjevic. Yeah, Felicia's got some serious rack on display, but everyone's eyes here have actual expression. There's obviously personality informing these women, personality that was conspicuously absent on the first cover.
Some people are saying that this cover is evidence that Marvel learned their lesson after all the negative outcry when Marvel Divas was first solicited (outcry about both the first cover and the solicit text itself).
You know what? I call bullshit. Because Jelena was probably tapped to do that cover a long time ago, and look at the solicit text for issue #2:
Written by ROBERTO
AGUIRRE-SACASA
Art by TONCI ZONJIC
Cover by JELENA KEVIC DJURDJEVIC
After last issue's shocking revelation, Angelica "Firestar" Jones seeks out medical advice...from none other than Dr. Stephen Strange. (Paving the way for yet another diva to enter the fray: The nocturnal Night Nurse!) Meanwhile, Monica "Photon" Rambeau and Patsy "Hellcat" Walker are drawn back into the lives of their ex-boyfriends of the damned: Brother Voodoo and Daimon Hellstrom, respectively. And Felicia "Black Cat" Hardy contemplates a return to her life of crime...the claws are out as this mini-series continues!
(Oooooh jencendiary, your thoughts please?)
Lesson: NOT LEARNED, Marvel.
By the way, Jelena Kevic Djurdjevic also did the awesome covers to X-Men: Die by the Sword and the covers to the simply maaaahvelous Terror, Inc. mini (that last was criminally underread).
You know what I could have lived my life without seeing?
A request for Punisher fanfic.
You know what else I could have lived without seeing?
PUNISHER #8
Written by RICK REMENDER
Penciled by TAN ENG HUAT
Cover by MIKE MCKONE
70th Frame Variant by STEVE DILLON
“DEAD END,” PART 3
Frank Castle finds himself the target of a band of Avengers, out of place, out of time and out for The Punisher’s blood. With no idea how Microchip brought them to the here and now, and with G.W. Bridge’s life in the hands of the henchmen of The Hood, Frank must survive the fury of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes long enough to unravel the mystery of their arrival. The truth will leave Frank with a terrible decision; in order to save his friend -- The Avengers must die.
Sigh.
Even worse:
HULK #14
Written by JEPH LOEB
Pencils & Wraparound Cover by IAN CHURCHILL
Variant Cover by IAN CHURCHILL
Variant Cover by ED MCGUINNESS
It's CODE RED VS. X-FORCE. Who is Code Red? How about Red Hulk. Deadpool. The Punisher. Elektra. Thundra. The Crimson Dynamo. What terrible secret could bring this group together -- only to run headlong into the deadliest team of X-Men? All this -- and wait until you see RED HULK VS. WOLVERINE! Superstar scribe Jeph Loeb is joined by art team Ian Churchill and Mark Farmer as the epic saga of the Red Hulk continues!
...LOOOOOOOOOOOOOEB!
Another tasty solicit:
Luke Cage Noir #1, motherfuckers!
Art by Tim Bradstreet (yes, please, can he do ALL the Noir series covers?), and the mini is to be writ by Mike Benson.
Okay. After that freshly decanted batch of batshittery re: Marvel Divas and Frank Castle, we need some straight hilarity from Cracked.com, Y/Y?
What if the characters on Lost told the truth?
Ow. My sides. OW. NSFW and spoilery for S5. The ones for Ben and John had me in tears.
There was also this from Miles (again, possibly spoilery for S5, peruse at your own risk):
So. Journal. Hey.
Why doesn’t anybody pay attention to me? I see dead people like I’m the fuckin’ Sixth Sense. I travelled back in time to meet my own father like Marty Goddamn McFly. What does it take to get some fucking interesting story-arcs up in this bitch? I think I’m going to fight a robot assassin from the future tomorrow, thus setting in motion the formation of the last resistance of mankind. If that doesn’t work, I just don’t even know. I guess I’ll get t**ty implants. It worked for Kate and Hurley.
Seriously, absolutely worth a read.
Alas and alack, I have more bad news: Paul Cornell reports that the Captain Britain book is cancelled. NooOOOOoooOOOOOOoooO! Woe! Perfidy! A plague on Marvel's house! The last issue will apparently be #16, but he promises to tie up the Dracula And His Army Of Undead On The Goddamn Moon arc.
Oh, I've also meant to write about this for the last few weeks, but did you know that there's a manga about young!Jesus and young!Buddha being all bishie bromance-y roomies together?
No, I'm not kidding: Saint Young Men. Thanks, Japan! (That link apparently lets you read part of the manga for free. Or something.)
REGINALD HUDLIN IS OFF THE BLACK PANTHER BOOK.
YES! Yes! And lo, there was rejoicing in the streets, warring tribes threw down their arms and embraced, kittens and puppies frolicked in luminous rays of sunshine throughout the land(s), Japan stopped Rule 34-ing the entire world, AND EVERYONE GOT CHOCOLATE.
You best believe that I'm not the only one rejoicing.
Now, can we get Christopher Priest and Kyle Baker (Baker with his new Hal Foster vibe) to be the new creative team for the book? Because that rotting pile of diseased offal known as Hudlin's racist!Doom needs to be retconned, as does all the bullshit about Wakandan matriarchs valuing their warrior sons more than their daughters and every single patronizing thing that T'Challa said to Storm and Monica Rambeau under Hudlin's pen.
You know, I actually with a lot of the opinions over on S_D 2.0 - so much damage has been to T'Challa's character by Hudlin that I don't know if any writer, no matter the skill, could fix it.
Sadly, the new writer on the book is Jonathan Maberry. I'm not sure what devilish and maleficient machinations resulted in Marvel editorial's decision to get a white horror writer with almost no experience writing comics to helm a book where the lead character (and said lead character's entire country) effortlessly pwns the entire world on a regular basis, but that's what they did. To add to the quelling unease in my stomach, remember when Hudlin sockpuppeted on a comics discussion board when people started to hate on his T'Challa?
Jonathan Maberry apparently takes a leaf from the same Book of Sockpuppetry.
...Not encouraging.
(Do we really need to have the "you do NOT fuck with T'Challa or Wakanda" talk again? Do we?)
So, solicits are out. I'll do a big SOOOOLICIT-O-RAMA post tomorrow, but I want to address something. Look at the solicit cover for Marvel Divas #2:
Marvel Divas #2 by Jelena Djurdjevic:
(For the non-comic peeps, the characters pictured -- clockwise from the top -- are Firestar, Black Cat, Hellcat, and Monica Rambeau/Photon/Captain Marvel #29473947).
This is undoubtedly a stunningly beauteous cover. It was done by Jelena Kevic Djurdjevic, who happens to be married to another favorite of mine, that being Marko Djurdjevic. Yeah, Felicia's got some serious rack on display, but everyone's eyes here have actual expression. There's obviously personality informing these women, personality that was conspicuously absent on the first cover.
Some people are saying that this cover is evidence that Marvel learned their lesson after all the negative outcry when Marvel Divas was first solicited (outcry about both the first cover and the solicit text itself).
You know what? I call bullshit. Because Jelena was probably tapped to do that cover a long time ago, and look at the solicit text for issue #2:
Written by ROBERTO
AGUIRRE-SACASA
Art by TONCI ZONJIC
Cover by JELENA KEVIC DJURDJEVIC
After last issue's shocking revelation, Angelica "Firestar" Jones seeks out medical advice...from none other than Dr. Stephen Strange. (Paving the way for yet another diva to enter the fray: The nocturnal Night Nurse!) Meanwhile, Monica "Photon" Rambeau and Patsy "Hellcat" Walker are drawn back into the lives of their ex-boyfriends of the damned: Brother Voodoo and Daimon Hellstrom, respectively. And Felicia "Black Cat" Hardy contemplates a return to her life of crime...the claws are out as this mini-series continues!
(Oooooh jencendiary, your thoughts please?)
Lesson: NOT LEARNED, Marvel.
By the way, Jelena Kevic Djurdjevic also did the awesome covers to X-Men: Die by the Sword and the covers to the simply maaaahvelous Terror, Inc. mini (that last was criminally underread).
You know what I could have lived my life without seeing?
A request for Punisher fanfic.
You know what else I could have lived without seeing?
PUNISHER #8
Written by RICK REMENDER
Penciled by TAN ENG HUAT
Cover by MIKE MCKONE
70th Frame Variant by STEVE DILLON
“DEAD END,” PART 3
Frank Castle finds himself the target of a band of Avengers, out of place, out of time and out for The Punisher’s blood. With no idea how Microchip brought them to the here and now, and with G.W. Bridge’s life in the hands of the henchmen of The Hood, Frank must survive the fury of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes long enough to unravel the mystery of their arrival. The truth will leave Frank with a terrible decision; in order to save his friend -- The Avengers must die.
Sigh.
Even worse:
HULK #14
Written by JEPH LOEB
Pencils & Wraparound Cover by IAN CHURCHILL
Variant Cover by IAN CHURCHILL
Variant Cover by ED MCGUINNESS
It's CODE RED VS. X-FORCE. Who is Code Red? How about Red Hulk. Deadpool. The Punisher. Elektra. Thundra. The Crimson Dynamo. What terrible secret could bring this group together -- only to run headlong into the deadliest team of X-Men? All this -- and wait until you see RED HULK VS. WOLVERINE! Superstar scribe Jeph Loeb is joined by art team Ian Churchill and Mark Farmer as the epic saga of the Red Hulk continues!
...LOOOOOOOOOOOOOEB!
Another tasty solicit:
Luke Cage Noir #1, motherfuckers!
Art by Tim Bradstreet (yes, please, can he do ALL the Noir series covers?), and the mini is to be writ by Mike Benson.
Okay. After that freshly decanted batch of batshittery re: Marvel Divas and Frank Castle, we need some straight hilarity from Cracked.com, Y/Y?
What if the characters on Lost told the truth?
Ow. My sides. OW. NSFW and spoilery for S5. The ones for Ben and John had me in tears.
There was also this from Miles (again, possibly spoilery for S5, peruse at your own risk):
So. Journal. Hey.
Why doesn’t anybody pay attention to me? I see dead people like I’m the fuckin’ Sixth Sense. I travelled back in time to meet my own father like Marty Goddamn McFly. What does it take to get some fucking interesting story-arcs up in this bitch? I think I’m going to fight a robot assassin from the future tomorrow, thus setting in motion the formation of the last resistance of mankind. If that doesn’t work, I just don’t even know. I guess I’ll get t**ty implants. It worked for Kate and Hurley.
Seriously, absolutely worth a read.
Alas and alack, I have more bad news: Paul Cornell reports that the Captain Britain book is cancelled. NooOOOOoooOOOOOOoooO! Woe! Perfidy! A plague on Marvel's house! The last issue will apparently be #16, but he promises to tie up the Dracula And His Army Of Undead On The Goddamn Moon arc.
Oh, I've also meant to write about this for the last few weeks, but did you know that there's a manga about young!Jesus and young!Buddha being all bishie bromance-y roomies together?
No, I'm not kidding: Saint Young Men. Thanks, Japan! (That link apparently lets you read part of the manga for free. Or something.)