Sunday Grab Bag, It Hurts So Good edition
Dear Sun:
Look, I know that you're responsible for the existence of Earth, and we should all be thanking you when you're not busy giving us skin cancer, but could you PLEASE stop playing kissyface with Earth and bring down the temperature a few degrees in San Francisco? It's THIRTY THOUSAND DEGREES HERE. JESUS GODDAMN HELL.
No love,
A Disgruntled Denizen of the Third Planet
Which brings me to my visit to HOT DR. BALE'S Pleasure Palace of Pain yesterday.
Int., Hot Dr. Bale's Pleasure Palace of Pain:
HOT DR. BALE hovers near kali921's bare feet with needles in his hands.
ME: It's too hot outside.
HOT DR. BALE: Yes, it is. That brings me to a question: do you like electrical stimulation?*
ME: I'm...I'm not sure how to answer that question and not incriminate myself.
HOT DR. BALE: I'd like to try electrostimulation to unblock the chi in your ankle.
ME: The chi in my ankle is blocked?
HOT DR. BALE: Yes. Electrostim will turbo charge it.
ME: What does this involve?
HOT DR. BALE: Attaching alligator clips to the needles and stimulating you with a mild electrical current.
ME: *gulp* ...All right.
HOT DR. BALE exits and returns a few moments later with a small handheld and very sinister appearing electrostimulator device.
ME: Oh, thank god. I was going to say, if you walked in here with a car battery, I would have made Marathon Man references and called you the Lord of Pain again.
HOT DR. BALE: *cackles evilly* Marathon Man? Marathon Man? Hah! That's what I should call my business. Marathon Man Acupuncture.
ME: So, that's a rather small electrostimulator.
HOT DR. BALE: Oh, this is the Cadillac of electrostimulators. It's a sweeeeet ride. Only the best.
ME: What's it called?
HOT DR. BALE: A Pantheon. Now, this won't hurt a bit. *proceeds to attach the alligator clips to the needles in my feet and suddenly cracks up*
ME: WHAT? What?
HOT DR. BALE: Now I'm thinking of Frankenstein and huge arcs of electricity. *waves arm in an arc*
ME: Oh, great. Like a Tesla coil?
HOT DR. BALE: Exactly! *turns the current on* Now, don't mind the smoke.
ME: Smoke? What smoke? You know what this reminds me of? Young Frankenstein.
HOT DR. BALE and kali921 simultaneously: "Fraaaaaahnkenstein."
HOT DR. BALE: You know what my favorite line in Young Frankenstein is? When Igor goes to steal a brain. "Ab-ab-ab-ABNORMAL."
So, uh, ladies and germs and those spurning the categorical imperative. It would appear that the role of Thor Odinsson has been cast for Kenneth Branagh's film.
Chris Hensworth:
The first thing I thought when I saw that picture was "he better bulk up if he's going to play the Odinsson and run around with mighty Mjolnir."
Then someone on Scans Daily 2.0 pointed out that he already *is* bulked up.
I approve. Can this guy act, by the way? Your thoughts, o wise and sagacious flist?
There's the requisite Thor casting discussion here with some truly inspired suggestions for Volstagg. Funnily enough, someone mentions that Branagh himself would make a good Fandral the Dashing. You know what? Give him an Ollie Queen goatee and have him grow out his hair a little, and they're TOTALLY RIGHT:**
Fandral the Dashing. Sadly, his thigh-high green boots are not pictured:
If Volstagg, Fandral, and Hogun are not in this film I will hunt Branagh down and commit some serious (verbal) carnage.
Now for MUSIC. So, as I've said before, I used to raid my dad's record collection when I was a wee girl, and my dad had awesome taste in music; he had tons of old funk and blues stuff packed onto his music shelves. It's because of my dad that I developed my obsession with awesome seventies funk.
Occasionally, when I'm randomly surfing YouTube, I strike funk gold. Okay, who knows about the dance line competitions from Soul Train? The dance line that used to be in almost every episode where couples used to compete and dance down the corridor to totally awesome music?
I give you a dance line from Soul Train circa 1974 over the Isley Brothers' "Live It Up."
The couples at 0:49, 1:14, and 2:28 ARE TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY AWESOME, I DARE YOU TO DISAGREE:
SO much gold in that clip. Early iteration proto-voguing! Even the token white guy makes a decent (and hilarious) showing! If you don't think this is completely awesome (like "Live It Up" isn't an awesome song already), there is SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU and you should not be reading this journal. I do love me some mid-seventies soul and funk that wasn't afraid of blistering guitar solos.
But that in turn reminded me of The Brothers Johnson. I discovered their old stuff on my own (in fact, I once played the below song for my grandparents, and they actually loved it).
The Brothers Johnson's famous cover of Strawberry Letter 23 - more psychedelic than you EVER thought possible:
Oh, man, how HOT were George and Louis Johnson? And the lyrics:
In the garden - I see west
Purple shower, bells and tea
Orange birds and river cousins dressed in green
Seventiestastic! Seriously, it just does not get better than that.
This next is for mercuryeric because he said that his idea of a girl with a guitar was Sarah McLachlan.
MY idea of a girl with a guitar is Ruyter Suys, that being the lead guitarist for Nashville Pussy.
Nashville Pussy live in Paris. Yes, this is the show where Ruyter really did strip down and wind up playing in a leopard print bikini:
I've seen Nashville Pussy live a few times over the years, and GODDAMN that woman can play. I love her because she's obviously enjoying herself onstage. (Not to mention that she's awesome when interviewed and is muy muy caliente.) I do miss Corey Haines and her fire breathing, though.
Finally:
Can't have a Sunday Grab Bag without macros, of course:
File this one under Blagojevich Macros Will NEVER Get Old:
Wait, wait, I'm not done. Every time I see someone use this icon, I crack up:
Carter Hall: best "I'm about to kill you" face or best "I'm about to kill you face"? Y/Y?
Wow. This entry got waaaay longer than expected. Well, walk it off, flist. Walk it off.
* water_of_fire! I thought of you when he asked me this question because I figured that you'd derive some enjoyment from the fact that HE ACTUALLY SAID THAT TO ME.
** On the other hand, I've been having quite a few "Scans Daily, what did I ever do to you?" moments lately. Mostly because S_D 2.0 reminded me that Bill Willingham's Ironwood exists and now I'll NEVER be able to look at Willingham's upcoming issues of JSA without thinking of the Dirty Vicar. Thanks, Scans Daily. Thanks.
Look, I know that you're responsible for the existence of Earth, and we should all be thanking you when you're not busy giving us skin cancer, but could you PLEASE stop playing kissyface with Earth and bring down the temperature a few degrees in San Francisco? It's THIRTY THOUSAND DEGREES HERE. JESUS GODDAMN HELL.
No love,
A Disgruntled Denizen of the Third Planet
Which brings me to my visit to HOT DR. BALE'S Pleasure Palace of Pain yesterday.
Int., Hot Dr. Bale's Pleasure Palace of Pain:
HOT DR. BALE hovers near kali921's bare feet with needles in his hands.
ME: It's too hot outside.
HOT DR. BALE: Yes, it is. That brings me to a question: do you like electrical stimulation?*
ME: I'm...I'm not sure how to answer that question and not incriminate myself.
HOT DR. BALE: I'd like to try electrostimulation to unblock the chi in your ankle.
ME: The chi in my ankle is blocked?
HOT DR. BALE: Yes. Electrostim will turbo charge it.
ME: What does this involve?
HOT DR. BALE: Attaching alligator clips to the needles and stimulating you with a mild electrical current.
ME: *gulp* ...All right.
HOT DR. BALE exits and returns a few moments later with a small handheld and very sinister appearing electrostimulator device.
ME: Oh, thank god. I was going to say, if you walked in here with a car battery, I would have made Marathon Man references and called you the Lord of Pain again.
HOT DR. BALE: *cackles evilly* Marathon Man? Marathon Man? Hah! That's what I should call my business. Marathon Man Acupuncture.
ME: So, that's a rather small electrostimulator.
HOT DR. BALE: Oh, this is the Cadillac of electrostimulators. It's a sweeeeet ride. Only the best.
ME: What's it called?
HOT DR. BALE: A Pantheon. Now, this won't hurt a bit. *proceeds to attach the alligator clips to the needles in my feet and suddenly cracks up*
ME: WHAT? What?
HOT DR. BALE: Now I'm thinking of Frankenstein and huge arcs of electricity. *waves arm in an arc*
ME: Oh, great. Like a Tesla coil?
HOT DR. BALE: Exactly! *turns the current on* Now, don't mind the smoke.
ME: Smoke? What smoke? You know what this reminds me of? Young Frankenstein.
HOT DR. BALE and kali921 simultaneously: "Fraaaaaahnkenstein."
HOT DR. BALE: You know what my favorite line in Young Frankenstein is? When Igor goes to steal a brain. "Ab-ab-ab-ABNORMAL."
So, uh, ladies and germs and those spurning the categorical imperative. It would appear that the role of Thor Odinsson has been cast for Kenneth Branagh's film.
Chris Hensworth:
The first thing I thought when I saw that picture was "he better bulk up if he's going to play the Odinsson and run around with mighty Mjolnir."
Then someone on Scans Daily 2.0 pointed out that he already *is* bulked up.
I approve. Can this guy act, by the way? Your thoughts, o wise and sagacious flist?
There's the requisite Thor casting discussion here with some truly inspired suggestions for Volstagg. Funnily enough, someone mentions that Branagh himself would make a good Fandral the Dashing. You know what? Give him an Ollie Queen goatee and have him grow out his hair a little, and they're TOTALLY RIGHT:**
Fandral the Dashing. Sadly, his thigh-high green boots are not pictured:
If Volstagg, Fandral, and Hogun are not in this film I will hunt Branagh down and commit some serious (verbal) carnage.
Now for MUSIC. So, as I've said before, I used to raid my dad's record collection when I was a wee girl, and my dad had awesome taste in music; he had tons of old funk and blues stuff packed onto his music shelves. It's because of my dad that I developed my obsession with awesome seventies funk.
Occasionally, when I'm randomly surfing YouTube, I strike funk gold. Okay, who knows about the dance line competitions from Soul Train? The dance line that used to be in almost every episode where couples used to compete and dance down the corridor to totally awesome music?
I give you a dance line from Soul Train circa 1974 over the Isley Brothers' "Live It Up."
The couples at 0:49, 1:14, and 2:28 ARE TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY AWESOME, I DARE YOU TO DISAGREE:
Click to viewSO much gold in that clip. Early iteration proto-voguing! Even the token white guy makes a decent (and hilarious) showing! If you don't think this is completely awesome (like "Live It Up" isn't an awesome song already), there is SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU and you should not be reading this journal. I do love me some mid-seventies soul and funk that wasn't afraid of blistering guitar solos.
But that in turn reminded me of The Brothers Johnson. I discovered their old stuff on my own (in fact, I once played the below song for my grandparents, and they actually loved it).
The Brothers Johnson's famous cover of Strawberry Letter 23 - more psychedelic than you EVER thought possible:
Oh, man, how HOT were George and Louis Johnson? And the lyrics:
In the garden - I see west
Purple shower, bells and tea
Orange birds and river cousins dressed in green
Seventiestastic! Seriously, it just does not get better than that.
This next is for mercuryeric because he said that his idea of a girl with a guitar was Sarah McLachlan.
MY idea of a girl with a guitar is Ruyter Suys, that being the lead guitarist for Nashville Pussy.
Nashville Pussy live in Paris. Yes, this is the show where Ruyter really did strip down and wind up playing in a leopard print bikini:
I've seen Nashville Pussy live a few times over the years, and GODDAMN that woman can play. I love her because she's obviously enjoying herself onstage. (Not to mention that she's awesome when interviewed and is muy muy caliente.) I do miss Corey Haines and her fire breathing, though.
Finally:
Can't have a Sunday Grab Bag without macros, of course:
File this one under Blagojevich Macros Will NEVER Get Old:
Wait, wait, I'm not done. Every time I see someone use this icon, I crack up:
Carter Hall: best "I'm about to kill you" face or best "I'm about to kill you face"? Y/Y?
Wow. This entry got waaaay longer than expected. Well, walk it off, flist. Walk it off.
* water_of_fire! I thought of you when he asked me this question because I figured that you'd derive some enjoyment from the fact that HE ACTUALLY SAID THAT TO ME.
** On the other hand, I've been having quite a few "Scans Daily, what did I ever do to you?" moments lately. Mostly because S_D 2.0 reminded me that Bill Willingham's Ironwood exists and now I'll NEVER be able to look at Willingham's upcoming issues of JSA without thinking of the Dirty Vicar. Thanks, Scans Daily. Thanks.