Emo Musings
Ever just be sitting there, then for absolutely no reason a sudden realization strikes you that has the potential to change your entire life's outlook?
That just happened to me.
I have done absolutely nothing in my short 22, nearly 23 years of life, to make absolutely any sort of lasting impression upon the world... and I don't know if I will ever manage an accomplishment great enough to ever leave one.
When I'm gone and dead, will anybody remember me? I don't mean friends, family and loves ones that immediately survive me and carry memories... I mean beyond their life spans. Will anybody even know I ever existed in 50 years after I die? 100?
The only way to garner any semblance of immortality, real immortality is to do something or make something so great it lingers past your own life span to be remembered and seen by future generations. Maybe those future generations won't know who exactly did these things, but its still YOUR mark, a sign that you once lived.
How many countless millions, billions even, of people have come and gone leaving absolutely no sign or trace to have ever even existed in the first place?
I can see now, on a whole new level beyond the immediately psychologically comforting ones, why some people need to believe in an afterlife. That they will continue to exist in some form after their own life is over... if for no other reason than to stave off this crushing reality of death. Unfortunately, I find no comfort in that security blanket of faith/religion that death isn't the complete and utter end of my existence. The only way for me to live far past my physical being is to do something great enough to be remembered... and I just don't have what it takes to accomplish that.
This realization is.... quite depressing, yet in some twisted sense almost liberating.
Shorting my own lifespan by stressing, worrying, and making myself develop more bleeding stomach ulcers isn't going to do anything at all other than hasten my exit without leaving any sort of mark behind. All the more reason to enjoy what life I'm given I suppose.
That just happened to me.
I have done absolutely nothing in my short 22, nearly 23 years of life, to make absolutely any sort of lasting impression upon the world... and I don't know if I will ever manage an accomplishment great enough to ever leave one.
When I'm gone and dead, will anybody remember me? I don't mean friends, family and loves ones that immediately survive me and carry memories... I mean beyond their life spans. Will anybody even know I ever existed in 50 years after I die? 100?
The only way to garner any semblance of immortality, real immortality is to do something or make something so great it lingers past your own life span to be remembered and seen by future generations. Maybe those future generations won't know who exactly did these things, but its still YOUR mark, a sign that you once lived.
How many countless millions, billions even, of people have come and gone leaving absolutely no sign or trace to have ever even existed in the first place?
I can see now, on a whole new level beyond the immediately psychologically comforting ones, why some people need to believe in an afterlife. That they will continue to exist in some form after their own life is over... if for no other reason than to stave off this crushing reality of death. Unfortunately, I find no comfort in that security blanket of faith/religion that death isn't the complete and utter end of my existence. The only way for me to live far past my physical being is to do something great enough to be remembered... and I just don't have what it takes to accomplish that.
This realization is.... quite depressing, yet in some twisted sense almost liberating.
Shorting my own lifespan by stressing, worrying, and making myself develop more bleeding stomach ulcers isn't going to do anything at all other than hasten my exit without leaving any sort of mark behind. All the more reason to enjoy what life I'm given I suppose.