My faith in humanity is on a steady decline.
It's strange to think that when ever I believe things are getting better, even the slightest bit, life takes a massive shit on my chest.
Now I love a good Cleveland steamer as much as the next guy, It's just the clean up, things get stained and in the end you never feel as good as you did before the shit hit your chest.
Jokes about strange fetishes aside; I'm just having one of those periods in my life where I'm evaluating the people that care (or supposedly care) about me. I have come to the conclusion, that the only people that really give a rat's ass about my meager existence are to far to impact it on a daily basis.
Save for maybe Adam, but the level he cares I think directly correlates with his loneliness at the time, if he wasn't so welcome at my house I think our friendship might have ended long ago.
I realized all of this because of the general douche baggery I'm receiving from Richard, first off he is playing that old " Let's make David feel like shit" game with Nick, You know the one?
It goes like this: Hang out with David, Berate him, Talk about how close the two of them are, talk about how much fun they have with out me around, ignore me, make me feel like shit. (the list goes on)
Another thing they are doing confuses the shit out of me, they are like forcibly trying to fix me up with a girl who doesn't want to be in a relationship at all ( She probably doesn't like me like that anyways XD)
She's cute and all but I don't know her, and my interest is still kinda focused on a certain someone.
But the thing that threw it over the top was the other day, we were supposed to go to a movie (let alone one that I was paying for)
Nick doesn't answer (this is know suprise)
Richard tells me to check with Nick and Allison for a time.
I do this.
He continues to beat around the bush, I realize slowly that chances are we aren't going.
Then he tells me we are, even if Nick doesn't go, and Nathan is joining us.
my Dad calls, asks if I want to hang out, I say I'm sorry but I'm going to a movie, We have our usual you never make time for me argument and then I say very frustrated I can't cancel I promised Richard I would take him to Sherlock Holmes. My Dad kinda laughed and said okay.
The bush beating continues for several more hours.
then he tells me he is sick.
I call Nathan to let him know we aren't going, but Nathan agrees to come over to pick up his Anime.
Nathan comes over, lets me know he made new plans with Richard, so even though Richard was to sick to hang out with me he was cool to hang out with Nathan? it's fucked up.
Yes, I realize theres a drive and all, but I would much rather him say "Hey, I'm feeling sick, I don't want to be driving around all day." Then tell me he is Sick and make other plans, maybe I'm being stupid but I think that it's almost unacceptable.
I feel lied too.
I'm just pissed.
It really makes me question who actually gives a damn about me.
Now I love a good Cleveland steamer as much as the next guy, It's just the clean up, things get stained and in the end you never feel as good as you did before the shit hit your chest.
Jokes about strange fetishes aside; I'm just having one of those periods in my life where I'm evaluating the people that care (or supposedly care) about me. I have come to the conclusion, that the only people that really give a rat's ass about my meager existence are to far to impact it on a daily basis.
Save for maybe Adam, but the level he cares I think directly correlates with his loneliness at the time, if he wasn't so welcome at my house I think our friendship might have ended long ago.
I realized all of this because of the general douche baggery I'm receiving from Richard, first off he is playing that old " Let's make David feel like shit" game with Nick, You know the one?
It goes like this: Hang out with David, Berate him, Talk about how close the two of them are, talk about how much fun they have with out me around, ignore me, make me feel like shit. (the list goes on)
Another thing they are doing confuses the shit out of me, they are like forcibly trying to fix me up with a girl who doesn't want to be in a relationship at all ( She probably doesn't like me like that anyways XD)
She's cute and all but I don't know her, and my interest is still kinda focused on a certain someone.
But the thing that threw it over the top was the other day, we were supposed to go to a movie (let alone one that I was paying for)
Nick doesn't answer (this is know suprise)
Richard tells me to check with Nick and Allison for a time.
I do this.
He continues to beat around the bush, I realize slowly that chances are we aren't going.
Then he tells me we are, even if Nick doesn't go, and Nathan is joining us.
my Dad calls, asks if I want to hang out, I say I'm sorry but I'm going to a movie, We have our usual you never make time for me argument and then I say very frustrated I can't cancel I promised Richard I would take him to Sherlock Holmes. My Dad kinda laughed and said okay.
The bush beating continues for several more hours.
then he tells me he is sick.
I call Nathan to let him know we aren't going, but Nathan agrees to come over to pick up his Anime.
Nathan comes over, lets me know he made new plans with Richard, so even though Richard was to sick to hang out with me he was cool to hang out with Nathan? it's fucked up.
Yes, I realize theres a drive and all, but I would much rather him say "Hey, I'm feeling sick, I don't want to be driving around all day." Then tell me he is Sick and make other plans, maybe I'm being stupid but I think that it's almost unacceptable.
I feel lied too.
I'm just pissed.
It really makes me question who actually gives a damn about me.