You know that feeling...
that rumbling in the pit of your stomach, that something bad is lurking around the corner?
I have bad to my back, I'm ready to turn the corner from it.
I can't go to school this semester. After all that fighting, and anger and everything dramatic that was circling my enrollment in school, I can't go at all.
I'm ineligible for financial aid. It's my own fault in all reality, and I should have expected it.
I failed my classes last semester, I just can't seem to handle these Online classes, it's tough, and even tougher for me. But in the end it's nothing but an excuse, I could have done it, some how, had I wanted too.
I've noticed lately that most of my problems..seem to stem from my own moroseness and negativity.
I'm paranoid, and slightly delusional, I wish for a happy ending, but question every good fortune that smiles down upon me.
even now, I sit here scared, wondering what life has in store for me in the coming hours.
What she "needs" to talk to me about.
I've never liked those words; "we need to talk" they send chills down the most stalwart and strong man's spine. Usually leading to other words I hate like "It's over" or "theres someone else"
but what could she say? I'm the someone else, so the inevitable could have happened and she could call this whatever we have off. ( it's not like any sorts of cheating has happened, we live to far apart for that to even be a risk factor)
I worry that she is sad.
I worry that she is concerned about me.
I must admit, earlier today I was feeling like an irrelevant stupid loser. I let another door close for me today, and it hurts, but I have been dealt the thousand injuries of Fortunado several times, I can make it through this.
No, I will.
This..is to re-lighting my once brightly burning fire.
I know what I need to do and really there exists no way around it, no easy road. I need to get my license, get a car, and a job.
I can't frivolously spend my paychecks, I need to save, and then I need to pay for the next available semester of school. I want to learn, I want to grow.
So here I go, around the corner and down the rabbit hole.
I have bad to my back, I'm ready to turn the corner from it.
I can't go to school this semester. After all that fighting, and anger and everything dramatic that was circling my enrollment in school, I can't go at all.
I'm ineligible for financial aid. It's my own fault in all reality, and I should have expected it.
I failed my classes last semester, I just can't seem to handle these Online classes, it's tough, and even tougher for me. But in the end it's nothing but an excuse, I could have done it, some how, had I wanted too.
I've noticed lately that most of my problems..seem to stem from my own moroseness and negativity.
I'm paranoid, and slightly delusional, I wish for a happy ending, but question every good fortune that smiles down upon me.
even now, I sit here scared, wondering what life has in store for me in the coming hours.
What she "needs" to talk to me about.
I've never liked those words; "we need to talk" they send chills down the most stalwart and strong man's spine. Usually leading to other words I hate like "It's over" or "theres someone else"
but what could she say? I'm the someone else, so the inevitable could have happened and she could call this whatever we have off. ( it's not like any sorts of cheating has happened, we live to far apart for that to even be a risk factor)
I worry that she is sad.
I worry that she is concerned about me.
I must admit, earlier today I was feeling like an irrelevant stupid loser. I let another door close for me today, and it hurts, but I have been dealt the thousand injuries of Fortunado several times, I can make it through this.
No, I will.
This..is to re-lighting my once brightly burning fire.
I know what I need to do and really there exists no way around it, no easy road. I need to get my license, get a car, and a job.
I can't frivolously spend my paychecks, I need to save, and then I need to pay for the next available semester of school. I want to learn, I want to grow.
So here I go, around the corner and down the rabbit hole.