21w 1 day
What a f*ckin horrible morning. I seriously wish I never got out of bed at all...
Ok, here it goes... I got out of bed as usual @ 4:30am. Went to pee, then went to make coffee. I was getting dressed when (M) crawled out of bed. We both happen to get into the bathroom at the same time. He says: "Just when I wanted to shave" as I start brushing my teeth. He asks me to scratch his back, which I do ONE HANDED while brushing my teeth with the other. (I am trying really hard not to sound petty right now) It obviously wasn't good enough for him... he said: "Just scratch stop teasing me baby!", with hand on toothbrush and mouth full of toothpaste (which usually makes me gag on a GOOD morning) I replied "I can't I'm brushing my teeth!" He sat his butt down on the edge of the bathtub and yelled: "Fine, I'll remember that when you ask me to scratch yours!" I finished brushing my teeth, rinsed and then asked him if he wanted me to continue to scratch his back, to which he did not reply. GRR! I may have replied a little harshly, but I was in the middle of brushing my teeth, and had a mouth full of toothbrush and toothpaste.
I ignored him and continued to get ready, washing up the remaining dishes in the sink, including our coffee cups. I poured, and made our coffee's and went to see if he was finished in the washroom. He wasn't. He was in the shower. I dried the sink (he sprays water everywhere when he shaves) and went to start styling my hair and apply my makeup. We ignored each other until it was time to go.
We stopped at Tim Horton's (as is customary most mornings) and he didn't even get out of the car to go in with me. I was nice, and I got him breakfast anyways. I shouldn't have! (<-- ok, that was me just grumbling a little). He ate his muffins, and finally said thank-you. I had my mouth full, so I nodded, and he "waited" for my answer. I said "thank-you" but again, my tone of voice may have been a little off. Up until then, neither one of us had spoken! GRR!!!
By the time we got to the office, it was all out war. He was yelling, I was crying. He was yelling cuz I was crying... gah! I was crying because he was raising his voice at me. I got out of the car, bawling my face off... and he drove away. I managed to calm myself down before walking into the office, but the boss knew something was up. He asked, is today a happy day or a quiet day... I replied quiet.
(M) called me, from his work @ exactly 7am to appologize. His appology became a "but you..." type of appology and I was cold to him on the phone as the boss was in the next room. I think I am going out for lunch with the boss today. I'll think about calling him during the day, but I am not sure. I will appologize for my tone of voice. I will ask for an appology for him yelling at me because I started to cry. This isnt the best way to start off a weekend... especially a weekend with the kids.
Do we ever need a weekend WITHOUT them. I love them to bits, but... crap! We are going on 4 weeks in a row (next weekend will be 5) that we have the kids for the weekend. That means no "couple" time. (S) is my little shadow when we are together, and I am flattered by that, but I don't know how to tell her to back off when I am cranky/tired. (N) is a little hand full, demanding attention because he doesnt get any when he is at home. I love them a lot, but (M) and I need some time for us and we haven't had any since the fire... and the stress is weighing on us. But, on the opposite side, I do not want to dissappoint them. They need their Daddy time. Such a freakin' dilemma...
Sorry 'bout the rant f-list... its been one of those mornings and I just needed to get it all out!
Ok, here it goes... I got out of bed as usual @ 4:30am. Went to pee, then went to make coffee. I was getting dressed when (M) crawled out of bed. We both happen to get into the bathroom at the same time. He says: "Just when I wanted to shave" as I start brushing my teeth. He asks me to scratch his back, which I do ONE HANDED while brushing my teeth with the other. (I am trying really hard not to sound petty right now) It obviously wasn't good enough for him... he said: "Just scratch stop teasing me baby!", with hand on toothbrush and mouth full of toothpaste (which usually makes me gag on a GOOD morning) I replied "I can't I'm brushing my teeth!" He sat his butt down on the edge of the bathtub and yelled: "Fine, I'll remember that when you ask me to scratch yours!" I finished brushing my teeth, rinsed and then asked him if he wanted me to continue to scratch his back, to which he did not reply. GRR! I may have replied a little harshly, but I was in the middle of brushing my teeth, and had a mouth full of toothbrush and toothpaste.
I ignored him and continued to get ready, washing up the remaining dishes in the sink, including our coffee cups. I poured, and made our coffee's and went to see if he was finished in the washroom. He wasn't. He was in the shower. I dried the sink (he sprays water everywhere when he shaves) and went to start styling my hair and apply my makeup. We ignored each other until it was time to go.
We stopped at Tim Horton's (as is customary most mornings) and he didn't even get out of the car to go in with me. I was nice, and I got him breakfast anyways. I shouldn't have! (<-- ok, that was me just grumbling a little). He ate his muffins, and finally said thank-you. I had my mouth full, so I nodded, and he "waited" for my answer. I said "thank-you" but again, my tone of voice may have been a little off. Up until then, neither one of us had spoken! GRR!!!
By the time we got to the office, it was all out war. He was yelling, I was crying. He was yelling cuz I was crying... gah! I was crying because he was raising his voice at me. I got out of the car, bawling my face off... and he drove away. I managed to calm myself down before walking into the office, but the boss knew something was up. He asked, is today a happy day or a quiet day... I replied quiet.
(M) called me, from his work @ exactly 7am to appologize. His appology became a "but you..." type of appology and I was cold to him on the phone as the boss was in the next room. I think I am going out for lunch with the boss today. I'll think about calling him during the day, but I am not sure. I will appologize for my tone of voice. I will ask for an appology for him yelling at me because I started to cry. This isnt the best way to start off a weekend... especially a weekend with the kids.
Do we ever need a weekend WITHOUT them. I love them to bits, but... crap! We are going on 4 weeks in a row (next weekend will be 5) that we have the kids for the weekend. That means no "couple" time. (S) is my little shadow when we are together, and I am flattered by that, but I don't know how to tell her to back off when I am cranky/tired. (N) is a little hand full, demanding attention because he doesnt get any when he is at home. I love them a lot, but (M) and I need some time for us and we haven't had any since the fire... and the stress is weighing on us. But, on the opposite side, I do not want to dissappoint them. They need their Daddy time. Such a freakin' dilemma...
Sorry 'bout the rant f-list... its been one of those mornings and I just needed to get it all out!