Dear Diary~ [Page 20 - Yoochun]
[Page 20 - Yoochun] Poor Chunnie. ^w^ *Stares at dead writer's block demons* Mwahahaha! This is how it should be. >:D
Dear Diary,
Darn it, Changmin got me.
I should’ve known it was a trick when he said my pillow was in the laundry room closet. Why would it be in there? Jaejoong wouldn’t wash the entire pillow. Just the pillow case. Diary, I just wanted to take another nap. Now I’m stuck in this stupid closet. With no pillow.
Guess I’ll just have to write in you from here. I was going to write in you right before I went to sleep…you know…after I got my pillow…and settled down in the living room…but I guess plans changed. Stupid dongsaeng…
After weeks and weeks of playing my favorite game with Junsu, I think I’ve realized something about myself.
I like him, Diary.
I’m not as clueless as I feel because it took me so long to figure out why I like playing with him so much, right? I just thought grabbing his butt was normal.
…
Okay, maybe not normal normal, but not totally unnormal. I only figured it out when Junsu was bent over picking up a coin in the elevator and I almost got caught staring at him when I suddenly thought, Man, I want to do so much more than grab this guy’s butt. Good thing I’m such a good actor with awesome reflexes and the other three were spaced out in that elevator or else Junsu would know for sure it was me.
I need to tell him.
I’m not the type to just sit around and let that special person slip by so easily. At this point, I don’t care what his reaction is. I need to get it out in the open. Jaejoong and Changmin are open and they look happy. Jaejoong and Yunho were all secretive and look where that got them.
How do tell Junsu I like him?
Maybe I’ll be slick and catch him off guard. Then he’ll fall into my arms. How about, “Su, babe. Let’s be like Sim Me and Sim You and get married.”
Okay, that’s…that’s not gonna work. Wouldn’t he just get creeped out? Actually, he wouldn’t even take me seriously. Okay, so how about, “Su. Su, Su. All I need is you.”
…
No.
How about a good old fashioned pick up line? “Junsu, did it hurt when you fell from heaven?” Or what about, “You must be tired cause you’ve been running through my dreams all night.” Oh my gosh. The only way Junsu would fall for either of those would be if he was completely stupid. I wouldn’t even fall for that. Aish.
None of those lines even imply that I want to be his. Like, his. I could maybe ask him out on a date. Where would we go? The park? Restaurant? A movie? The arcade? The mall? Hyukjae’s house? Candlelit dinner with Jaejoong’s cooking? Aquarium? Planetarium? Incheon? Vegas? New York? Toronto? Mexico City? St. Petersburg? Paraguay? Peru? Papua New Guinea? Indonesia? Sweden? Jordan? Italy? Australia? Mongolia? The Sun? The moon? The stars? My bed?
I promise you, Diary, I want more than Junsu’s body. Although that option is not a bad one. I think I should take him on the absolute most perfect date ever known to man if that’s how I’m going to ask him out.
Junsu’s a simple person. He likes soccer, so maybe I’ll just take him to the park. How would I ask him that and still imply that I want to kiss him afterwards rather that buy him ice cream?
“Junsu, let’s go play soccer in the park. If you win, I’ll tell you who’s been grabbing your butt. If I win, I’ll kiss you.” Hmmm. Seems like either way, I win. If he knows that I’ve been grabbing his butt, then I’ll have no choice but to confess my feelings right there.
Actually, Junsu is really good at soccer, so it’ll more than likely end up as the first choice. And…I kinda really like that second choice… Maybe I’ll switch them. He wins = kiss. But maybe since I totally just threatened to kiss him, he’ll be thrown off the entire game wondering what I meant by that and he wont be concentrating. Then I’ll win.
Well, that sucks because now I don’t know which option will definitely land me with Junsu’s lips on mine. How about, “If you win, I’ll kiss you. If I win, you kiss me.” That’s pretty good.
Would Junsu even go for that? He’d probably stop before we started playing and ask me a ton of questions. Man, I’d confuse the crap out of him if I said that. And if he’s too confused to function, then how am I gonna get Junsu to fall for me?
This is too complicated. Asking the guy I like to play soccer is dumb, anyway. Where is the romance?
Simple, simple, simple.
I’ll secretly send him roses and love notes until I finally come out and say it was me. How would I do that? Maybe I’ll stick the last rose in the waist of his pants before I grab his butt, and he’ll swivel around and see my smiling face. “Surprise, Junsu! I love you!”
…
I don’t think that will happen. Plus, I don’t think I should confess my feelings for him and reveal that it was me grabbing his butt at the same time. Me saying, “I love you” will throw him off (maybe scare him) and me saying, “It was me grabbing your butt” will get me hours of dolphin squeals and a slap in the face. He’s seriously freaking out about that whole deal. Maybe I went too far…?
Focus, Chun!
Need a perfect date, perfect date. I’ll just take him out to dinner. How’s that?
Maybe I’ll be discreet about it and go through a friend. I’ll ask Changmin to-
I’m sorry, Diary. I think I just went crazy for a minute. I’ll ask Yunho to tell Junsu to meet his secret admirer at the restaurant Ryeowook works at. And I’ll be sitting there with a rose and a smile and…I know he’ll have a dozen questions but I’ll just have to tell him. At least it will be within the calm of a nice restaurant.
Actually…I don’t think I should ask Yunho. All his roommates are hooking up without him. I know he seems to accept everything, but I still don’t want to open up any wounds. I’ll ask Jaejoong to tell Junsu.
…
Jaejoong has a mind of his own. He’ll do something weird like send Junsu on a scavenger hunt (Scavenger hunts are me and Junsu’s thing!) and I’ll never see that kid for days. Or he’ll just be confusing in general and use word play and Junsu won’t understand what the heck he’s supposed to be doing. All I need is for him to show up at a restaurant. Gah! Why am I getting mad at Jaejoong and I haven’t even asked him to do anything yet?
Okay, so maybe I’ll ask Kangin to tell him.
No.
He has a big mouth. Kangin will tell Junsu all my plans before I do. Should I ask Hyukjae? I…I don’t know. He might start crying or something.
I’ll tell Junho. Plus, it would be a good idea to tell Junsu’s own brother about our feelings first.
Wait, I don’t even know Junsu’s feelings. What if he-?
I’m not going there. I just need to get this done before I explode…from inside a closet…
I don’t think Junho is a good idea. Even if he did accept the way I feel about his brother, if he and Junsu even spend a minute in the same room together or on the phone, that minute turns into an hour. Then four hours. Then four days. Seriously, how do they talk for that long?
If I got a friend to ask Junsu to meet a secret admirer somewhere, would he even go? He’d probably silently freak out at home while I’m sitting there twiddling my thumbs at the restaurant. He’d be pacing around weighing his options and blushing that cute way he does. He has a bad sense of time, so the restaurant would close and I’d be chased out before Junsu even realized it. Then he’d just give up and complain about his life to Jaejoong.
I know him too well. And if that’s true, then…
WHY CAN’T I FIGURE OUT A WAY TO ASK HIM OUT?!?!?!
This is seriously screwing me up. I wish he would just come out and tell me he loved me so I wouldn’t have to go through all this stress. I mean, I can’t ask him out normally because there are so many factors that could ruin the whole thing. And I can’t just jump him in a dark corner when no one is home and LIP RAPE him until my mouth goes numb because that would say I’m only interested in a physical relationship and plus, he’d freak out of his mind.
I want peace!
What happened to laid back, playful Chunnie? I can’t do this! I feel all high strung like Changmin. Ah, not good, not good.
Crap! I swear I just saw some small, beady eyes flash by that little hole in the corner of this closet. I want out. I want to come out of the closet!!
…
See, this is why I like to sleep. It keeps my mind in check. So I don’t…flip out like now. And I can’t nap now because:
1. I’m in a closet
2. My pillow isn’t even in here butthole Changmin
3. Junsu is terrorizing my thoughts
4. I’m in a freaking closet
This is so stupid. Stupider than when Sungmin told Kangin to lose weight. Stupider than Leeteuk calling Jaejoong his granddaughter. Fine. Since, there is no other way on this planet to cleanly tell Junsu how I feel about him, I’ll just do it the most primitive, raw, idiotic, honest, ordinary, pathetic way possible. I’ll say-
“I like you.”
Someone is coming in.
Ha! Changmin got in trouble for locking me in the closet! You tell him, Yunho! Okay, looks like I’m getting out of here, Diary. Wish me luck.
~Chun in love
Turn the page~ Page 19 - Changmin || Page 21 - Jaejoong