Mid Week Ramblings
We cannot help but relate to or equate other people’s experiences with our own. It’s a women thing. Per my sister’s Masters Thesis, women are sympathetic conversationalists, we empathise any chance we get.
Reading a very close girlfriend’s posts, I see a little of myself in her exploits; well the old self at least. Being so young and away from home brought many hedonistic moments (wow the independence!) for both of us - the flirtations with men who were (still are) bad for us, new friendships that last and those that did not, the partying 4-5 nights a week,etc. We bonded further because of these shared good and not so good experiences.
Her heartbreaks mirrored my own from a time past. On occasions I had wanted to tell her that these shall come to pass in time. But I stopped myself and offered up a listening ear instead. I was afraid that any counsel I offered up might make me sound like one of those smug couples (YUCK). And ultimately, she has to learn it in her own time.
I admire her for her drive and passion, her go-getter mentality; and yet in her pursuit of happiness and success, she remains grounded. She is the same person I had known since 2001; with more wisdom and maturity. I am truly inspired. (This is about you, Shan.)
On a separate note…
Between his late night conference calls and my gym sessions / golf lessons, Mr. P and I have settled into a sharing routine. The two of us took turns cooking, running errands, and sorting out wedding related matters.
The other day, he had even proven himself to be a very capable house husband should I ever land my dream job. For the Chinese National Day, we had planned to have a couple of friends over to watch the fireworks. I was at work (holiday coverage) and he was left to his own hung-over devices in our messy not very tidy apartment. By the time I got home, it was near brand spanking new. Now if only he could do better ironing. Hmm… I wonder if there are ironing classes available.
I am a converted believer in marriage and I think this married life business will suit me. Unlike many Singaporeans who will walk down the aisle without ever having lived with their other halves, Mr. P and I have been playing house for 2.5 years. There will be no change in lifestyle and habits; no skeletons in the closet (given that we bought them together - okay cold joke); no weird secret single behaviours, etc. Basically, no adjustment needed - just add water and instant blissful newlyweds.
I am a firm believer and a proponent of co-habitation. To know a person is to live together 24/7 for an extended period. That way, it is very difficult to conceal one’s true nature. The weekend camping (at one another’s places) or 2 week holidays stuff will only show a bare tip of the ice-berg. Your other half can easily put on a façade for the weekends that you are there. And on vacation, everyone’s senses are somewhat sheltered from reality / enhanced by pretty new things (cities, sites, etc), so one can simply hide behind a mask.
If I recall correctly, I’ve read somewhere that James C. Dobson once said, “Don’t marry the person you think you can live with; marry the person you can’t live without.”
I beg to differ from this crazy conservative Christian. We have enough Hollywood romances and Disney fairytales to inculcate the wrong attitudes toward love (the whole The ONE sham), we don’t need another fundamentalist trained psychologist to distort reality.
And so, I am marrying someone I CAN LIVE WITH. I am without a doubt Mr. P is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with and we have learnt to be complementary and accept each other’s quirks. A recipe for a successful lifetime partnership don’t you think?