(no subject)

[justalilcrazy]

I realized today that there is no possible way this is going to work. He makes me feel too anxious, and I annoy him just about all the time. And I hate feeling like I'm the problem. He's unreliable, all his friends think so, but I can't say so because that would break 'guy code.' And we just aren't the same as how we started. We were crazy about eachother, and spent any possible moment together. Over spring break we talked online and through texts non stop. Now I'm afraid to even text him once because I think I'll come off as pushy. There is no way we'll make it through the summer.. so I might as well end it now.. right? Or would that just be me ending things too soon? Not letting a good thing develop? I don't think I can make it through the summer. It just sucks so much. I really do like him a lot, but I've realized a while that liking someone doesn't make things work. And the way we handle relationships, not just romantic ones, but just the way we relate to people, is so vastly different.

In other news.. I went to the gym today. I am officially a member of the JCC again. It felt good working out, hopefully I'll get a chance to go a lot this summer. Tomorrow I'm off to the city to hang out and get some work done with Luciano. Wednesday I drive my parents to the airport and have the house to myself for 2 weeks. Thursday, if I get a hold of someone at the hospital, I'll start work, and sunday, if all goes right I'll be going to six flags in New England with Kristi, Dan, and two of his friends... but I don't know anymore.