(no subject)
So I'm home. I hate home. I've been here for less than 24 hours and already my mom has me on a cleaning adventure, my dad freaked out on me because of the 'tone of my voice,' and I had to wake up at 8AM to make my mom Mothers Day Breakfast in Bed.. after which she complained that it was too late, and that the jello was of the wrong consistency and I should've brought her coffee instead of tea.. here's a thought, don't wake up at 7AM, then you won't need the god damn coffee!
I did pretty decent this semester.. minus the F i got for the second spring semester in a row.. but i might be able to change that. I'm annoyed with myself because I as usual, my grades reflect my laziness, not my knowledge or talent. But what's done is done and I'll just have to do better next semester. I say that every time, and yet I never do.
I don't know how long me and Dan are going to last this summer. We've only been 'together' for a month and a half, and will basically not be seeing each other for the next 3. Odds don't look good. Not to mention he's actually kinda normal. I can't handle normal. I'm always nervous around him, and feel like I'm not good enough... which I know is bollocks, but I can't help feel that way sometimes. This might sound stupid; but he doesn't text. Well, just not nearly as much as I'm used to. Every other guy I was ever involved with would humor me and constantly text me back on every little thought I had. Dan doesn't do that. And I don't want to be that clingy girlfriend but I'm starting to appear that way even to myself. He says I'm crazy, and he doesn't see it that way.. but again, I can't help how I feel sometimes. One thing irked me about it last night though.. I texted him a goodnight thing and went to bed without a response and about a half hour into sleeping i got a text that read 'night.' I actually laughed out loud when I read it because it reminded me of Tyler. Me and Tyler always played around with words, just the smallest change of semantics and we could tell that something was wrong or different. The difference between night, and goodnight to us was a world of difference, while with Dan it was probably the shortest thing he could write so as to not get too distracted from drinking.
I finally went out to dinner with Kyle the other day. Sadly, Wendy's was closed by then so we went to taco bell instead. It was really really nice, I forgot how much I enjoyed his company. He started texting me again afterwards. They were sweet, but then turned into the 'I never should've broken up with you I suck' genre.. and if I remember the pattern correctly, soon that will turn into the 'I hate you, you're a slut, you used me' sort of text. It's funny, I've texted him more than I texted my boyfriend since I left. Go figure.
I have a lot of plans for my summer. How much of it I'm actually going to follow through on, we'll see. I'll be working at the hospital again, and I'm making my dad renew my membership to the JCC so then I'll have a gym to go to so I can stay fit for Rugby. Maybe I'll take a yoga class or something just for the hell of it. I also want to finish my portfolio and resume by the end of the summer, with Luciano's help. And hopefully get in contact with some people in the marketing/advertising business and possibly get an internship over the summer, even if it's not paying. I also have a goal of spending the least amount of time possible with my parents. Oh and I want to get a six flags season pass and go any chance I have. I also need to make letters for a few delts. And I want to read. I like reading. Wow, I guess I didn't realize how much plans I really had. Somewhere in between there I'll fit in visiting Dan, Sarah, Anna, Tyler, and Troy. Not to mention time to make up all the work for DHS... as usual, I'm very ambitious at the beginning of a project. Let's see how long it lasts this time.
I did pretty decent this semester.. minus the F i got for the second spring semester in a row.. but i might be able to change that. I'm annoyed with myself because I as usual, my grades reflect my laziness, not my knowledge or talent. But what's done is done and I'll just have to do better next semester. I say that every time, and yet I never do.
I don't know how long me and Dan are going to last this summer. We've only been 'together' for a month and a half, and will basically not be seeing each other for the next 3. Odds don't look good. Not to mention he's actually kinda normal. I can't handle normal. I'm always nervous around him, and feel like I'm not good enough... which I know is bollocks, but I can't help feel that way sometimes. This might sound stupid; but he doesn't text. Well, just not nearly as much as I'm used to. Every other guy I was ever involved with would humor me and constantly text me back on every little thought I had. Dan doesn't do that. And I don't want to be that clingy girlfriend but I'm starting to appear that way even to myself. He says I'm crazy, and he doesn't see it that way.. but again, I can't help how I feel sometimes. One thing irked me about it last night though.. I texted him a goodnight thing and went to bed without a response and about a half hour into sleeping i got a text that read 'night.' I actually laughed out loud when I read it because it reminded me of Tyler. Me and Tyler always played around with words, just the smallest change of semantics and we could tell that something was wrong or different. The difference between night, and goodnight to us was a world of difference, while with Dan it was probably the shortest thing he could write so as to not get too distracted from drinking.
I finally went out to dinner with Kyle the other day. Sadly, Wendy's was closed by then so we went to taco bell instead. It was really really nice, I forgot how much I enjoyed his company. He started texting me again afterwards. They were sweet, but then turned into the 'I never should've broken up with you I suck' genre.. and if I remember the pattern correctly, soon that will turn into the 'I hate you, you're a slut, you used me' sort of text. It's funny, I've texted him more than I texted my boyfriend since I left. Go figure.
I have a lot of plans for my summer. How much of it I'm actually going to follow through on, we'll see. I'll be working at the hospital again, and I'm making my dad renew my membership to the JCC so then I'll have a gym to go to so I can stay fit for Rugby. Maybe I'll take a yoga class or something just for the hell of it. I also want to finish my portfolio and resume by the end of the summer, with Luciano's help. And hopefully get in contact with some people in the marketing/advertising business and possibly get an internship over the summer, even if it's not paying. I also have a goal of spending the least amount of time possible with my parents. Oh and I want to get a six flags season pass and go any chance I have. I also need to make letters for a few delts. And I want to read. I like reading. Wow, I guess I didn't realize how much plans I really had. Somewhere in between there I'll fit in visiting Dan, Sarah, Anna, Tyler, and Troy. Not to mention time to make up all the work for DHS... as usual, I'm very ambitious at the beginning of a project. Let's see how long it lasts this time.