Musings on sex scenes ....

[justacat]

I can't believe how long it's been since I've posted. I'm never prolific, but I've rarely gone this long without posting since I started on  LJ ... and it feels like longer, because it's been such a busy few weeks.  The reason, I think, is a combination of extensive travel over the past few weeks (Escapade, which I haven't written about but maybe

Comments

[nakeisha]

Good to see you back. And as always you raise some very interesting points. I shall pick out only two.

But also, I really would be interested to know how the writers among you feel about this way of looking at and analyzing writing. I mean, it's fun for me from an analytical perspective, but does thinking about rules "get in the way" of free expression?Er, well if I was planning on writing an academic paper or a high-brow literary book, then fine. If I was still studying English Literature, then yes, I'd think this kind of thing was enjoyable and worthwhile and good. However, I'm writing fanfic. I'm writing for enjoyment, for pleasure, my own (and hey, hopefully other people's), if I started to do this with my writing I'd be waving goodbye to the fun

[gilda_elise]

You can have all of this in a slash story and not have any sex at all. This level of intimacy and throat-catching emotions, depth of attachment, transcendent bond can be achieved without going into actual sex - unless you are including kissing and embracing and sharing intimacy in that way (which for me is far, far more intimate than the actual sex part) in sex.

That's very true, and I found that the story passages I most remembered weren't part of the sex scene at all. I suppose it's because I know they love each other; it's the unexpected, out-of-left-field emotional situations that make the biggest impact on me.

[nakeisha]

In many ways I feel that the sex bit is the easy bit, after all at one level it's purely about the physical and that just gets plain boring after a while, as it's nothing that they're not doing with someone else. But when the emotions and intimacy comes into it, it's something quite, quite different. Those are the things that stay with me, not the good old-fashioned Anglo Saxon bits.

[justacat]

it's purely about the physical and that just gets plain boring after a while, as it's nothing that they're not doing with someone else

See, that's where I disagree. To me that's like saying ... well, like "hugging" is just physical and something they could do with anyone. The point to me is that regardless of whether they could, they aren't having sex with "someone else" - they're having sex with each other, and sure, it's physical, but the very particulars of the physicality - how they react to each other, how they respond, what they do and when and why, not to mention the non-physicals (how they're feeling, etc.) - all of that reveals things about them and, more specifically, about their feelings about and relationship with each other. It's definitely true that a physical action may have little meaning in a vacuum - "Bodie stuck tab A in slot B." But it's the particular action, the context, this particular act of sex with this particular person, this tab A in this slot B in this time and place with these reactions, that makes

[nakeisha]

I think that to dismiss the sex scenes as "easy" or "purely about the physical" does a bit of an injustice to those who *do* enjoy it (not to mention the authors who write them well),

I am not dismissing the sex scenes as 'easy' or 'purely about the physical'. I did say 'in many ways' and also 'at one level', that is completely different from saying 'it's purely about the physical. And in many ways sex per se is easy - that is what I was saying. And it is. Sex itself, as the purely physical, is really simple. As you yourself say, it's about sticking Tab A into Slot B

[justacat]

No, you *are* right, I am not dismissing anyone who doesn't get the same level of pleasure out of sex scenes as I do - not at all. And I'm sorry if I implied that; I have to admit that (though I've tried *very* hard to keep that out of my discussion) I've always felt a bit defensive about this, perhaps because early on in my tenure in fandom a bunch of fans gave me the disdainful "oh, when you grow up you'll stop liking sex scenes" treatment, and which made me feel both rebellious and as if I have to justify my preferences, as if liking what I like makes me somehow lacking!! But I didn't mean at all to take that out on you!

There are many people involved in intimate relationships who, for one reason or another, do not have/are unable to have sex as such, and their relationship is not any the less because of it.Oh, I agree with this entirely - it's all incredibly, incredibly personal and unique; and I didn't mean to imply that lots of animalistic sex is part of any relationship, or that every couple (of whatever sex) expresses

[nakeisha]

No, you *are* right, I am not dismissing anyone who doesn't get the same level of pleasure out of sex scenes as I do - not at all. And I'm sorry if I implied that; I have to admit that (though I've tried *very* hard to keep that out of my discussion) I've always felt a bit defensive about this, perhaps because early on in my tenure in fandom a bunch of fans gave me the disdainful "oh, when you grow up you'll stop liking sex scenes" treatment, and which made me feel both rebellious and as if I have to justify my preferences, as if liking what I like makes me somehow lacking!! But I didn't mean at all to take that out on you!Thank you. I do know exactly what you mean about having to defend something, I feel the same way about defending my liking for writing/reading 'romance'. It does tend to make one a tad jaded at times. I'm really sorry to hear that you got that kind of treatment from fellow fans. Sorry, but not surprised. I got exactly the same over certain authors. The 'it's okay to like xxx when you first get into fandom, but once

[justacat]

So to me to try and do something like this would most definitely interfere with my writing ...When I thought about it a little more after I posted (I wrote that question for writers right before I posted), it occurred to me that probably very few writers of any sort *consciously* use and apply rules when they sit down to write