Musings on sex scenes ....

[justacat]

I can't believe how long it's been since I've posted. I'm never prolific, but I've rarely gone this long without posting since I started on  LJ ... and it feels like longer, because it's been such a busy few weeks.  The reason, I think, is a combination of extensive travel over the past few weeks (Escapade, which I haven't written about but maybe

Comments

[nakeisha]

No, you *are* right, I am not dismissing anyone who doesn't get the same level of pleasure out of sex scenes as I do - not at all. And I'm sorry if I implied that; I have to admit that (though I've tried *very* hard to keep that out of my discussion) I've always felt a bit defensive about this, perhaps because early on in my tenure in fandom a bunch of fans gave me the disdainful "oh, when you grow up you'll stop liking sex scenes" treatment, and which made me feel both rebellious and as if I have to justify my preferences, as if liking what I like makes me somehow lacking!! But I didn't mean at all to take that out on you!

Thank you. I do know exactly what you mean about having to defend something, I feel the same way about defending my liking for writing/reading 'romance'. It does tend to make one a tad jaded at times. I'm really sorry to hear that you got that kind of treatment from fellow fans. Sorry, but not surprised. I got exactly the same over certain authors. The 'it's okay to like xxx when you first get into fandom, but once you're 'grown up'/have spent time in that fandom, you can't possibly like her any more'. Excuse me? I'll go out of my way to avoid arguments and do tend to be fairly 'accepting' but like you this just made me rebellious. I will not be told who I can/cannot read!

And whilst it's true to say that a lot of people (myself included) do find that the sex scenes that they couldn't get enough of when they first got into fandom, no longer matter as much when they've spent time in fandom, it is simply not the case for everyone. One of my 'oldest' (in terms of she was one of my first) fandom friends, who has been in fandom for longer than you and I (and other people) put together, is just like you. She loves the sex scenes and they are really important to her and she gets the same kind of buzz and enjoyment out of them as you do (I'm afraid she isn't into Pros before you get excited about a fellow minded-person). And she isn't the only person like that. You have nothing to 'defend' and nothing to feel lacking about. But I do know exactly how you feel. Believe me I do.

I do follow what you say about sexuality and sex and it's a good point. I still don't necessarily agree with you, but I'm closer to understanding now what you meant by your comment.

And just to repeat, I really do believe that the *great* thing about fandom is that there is something for everyone - of course I like talking about why I like what I like, and it's always fun to chat with someone who likes the same things, but it truly is fine with me that others don't share my preferences!!

Hear. Hear. I agree one hundred percent with this. And have said so many, many, many times. Unfortunately, it's just a shame that there are those people out there who seem to think that their view/opinion/likes/dislikes is the only one that matters and that it is 'right'. And like you, I always enjoy chatting with someone who doesn't necessarily share exactly the same opinions. It's a lot of fun - along as there's my famous 'mutual respect' on both sides :-)

So you can have your sex scenes and I can have my romance and we're both happy :-)))