Sweet Silver Lining
I'm naturally an optimist who slowly got to grasp the ways of the world and became a realist but these days, there's no other feeling that permeates my heart other than gratitude. I was in a commercial shoot last week and during the dredges of one of the most boring things I can ever witness, shooting the product, I was suddenly hit by the realization that I've been waiting for ever since I quit law school.
Damn, I can't believe I'm here.
Because honestly, it all feels like a dream. Like an interim. Never, in my entire existence, did I imagine I could do something else other than law. That I will get to do something else other than law. Pegged as the lawyer since 2 years of age, I couldn't imagine an alternative future for me but here I am, living it, breathing it in. And slowly but surely, embracing it too. What once was a theory, albeit I theory that I was hell bent on following through, the possibility didn't sink in until that moment. Because it wasn't just a possibility now, it was reality. But it still feels like it isn't. Like I would grasp something too hard it all will go poof. And it's a completely different experience to what I've always been accustomed to. It's a situation that I have no idea how to deal with.
But by God do I enjoy it.
So yes, everyday I thank that same God for always steadying me unto paths that are somewhat unfathomable but become real. I've been blessed to always get my first choices. First choice of school, of college, of law school and of work. And somehow, I feel not only that there's a lot to prove but that everything, every harrowing decision point during my entire life, was building me up for this exact moment when I make my own choice and build my own life.
I've never felt more grown up than I am now but that naivity, that young optimistic innocence, is fresh and renewed. Revitalized. Joie de vivre.
Damn, I can't believe I'm here.
Because honestly, it all feels like a dream. Like an interim. Never, in my entire existence, did I imagine I could do something else other than law. That I will get to do something else other than law. Pegged as the lawyer since 2 years of age, I couldn't imagine an alternative future for me but here I am, living it, breathing it in. And slowly but surely, embracing it too. What once was a theory, albeit I theory that I was hell bent on following through, the possibility didn't sink in until that moment. Because it wasn't just a possibility now, it was reality. But it still feels like it isn't. Like I would grasp something too hard it all will go poof. And it's a completely different experience to what I've always been accustomed to. It's a situation that I have no idea how to deal with.
But by God do I enjoy it.
So yes, everyday I thank that same God for always steadying me unto paths that are somewhat unfathomable but become real. I've been blessed to always get my first choices. First choice of school, of college, of law school and of work. And somehow, I feel not only that there's a lot to prove but that everything, every harrowing decision point during my entire life, was building me up for this exact moment when I make my own choice and build my own life.
I've never felt more grown up than I am now but that naivity, that young optimistic innocence, is fresh and renewed. Revitalized. Joie de vivre.