Gift Fic for lilly0 (part 2)

[jrexchmod]

Day 36

Uchi found his routine during rehearsals eventually, fitting in, trying hard to keep up with the standards of the group. He found that once he got more into it he remembered the steps more easily and also his feeling about the show changed. After their training was finished, he decided to talk to Koichi about something that had kept bothering him the past few days.
“Ne, Koichi-kun…”
“Yes?” Koichi asked, turning around, flashing him a smile. “Oh, Uchi-kun. You did really good today. I’m proud of you, you improved so much.”
“Thank you,” Uchi beamed.
He felt his face flushing with happiness, then he couldn’t help feeling a bit angry with himself - why again did this guy have so much influence on him? A single word, nice or harsh could completely turn his world upside down. He pushed the thought back, though. There was something he had to discuss with the other.

“Ah, I’m also feeling much more relaxed now,” he came out.
“I’m glad to hear that,” Koichi nodded, clasping his shoulder. “It’s very interesting and also motivating to work with you. I’m glad we picked you for the part.”
“Thank you, Koichi-kun,” Uchi smiled broadly. “That really means a lot to me. It’s also really cool to work with you. I learn so much and I think I’m really getting into it.”
“I’m happy for you, then.”
“So,” Uchi muttered, lowering his gaze slightly, “I was wondering… I think if I work into it some more, I can do even more.”
“You’re doing fine,” Koichi assured him.
“Well, I…” Uchi stuttered. “The things is… Do you think I could…? I’d like to do my own solo part. I think I can do it.”

Koichi stiffened at that. “Ah, Uchi-kun…”
“You said I improved,” Uchi pressed the point.
“And you did,” Koichi nodded. “But really, we’re too far into it now. Yuki has been practicing his parts and we’d have to start a new scene from scratch…”
“I’d work it out on my own,” Uchi tried, but he already knew it was to no avail.
“You’d need background,” Koichi continued, “and the guys are already fully covered.” He gave the younger man a sympathetic smile. “Uchi-kun, I understand your wish and your desire for more makes me happy. I’ll be even more happy if you will act with us again next year and then you can have any part that you want.”
“Any part?” Uchi asked, rising a brow. “What if I want your part?” he joked.
Koichi laughed at that. “You can get right up the stairs and start practicing the showdown,” he offered.

Uchi snickered. “No, thanks,” he waved the other off. “I don’t know how you do it anyway, again and again and…” He shook his head.
“I don’t know how to explain it,” Koichi mused. Then he grinned helplessly. “Maybe I just get off on the pain. Most of the time when people think they’re just different from everybody else it’s just a strange kind of perversion.”
“I think you are special in a way,” Uchi murmured. “The way you characterize is… unique.”
Koichi blinked at him in surprise, then he smiled again. “Thank you, Uchi-kun. For now, let’s act together and give our best okay?”
“Sure,” Uchi nodded.
He sighed slightly as he turned around to leave. He’d been hoping to get his solo part. But then, it was Koichi’s company. Koichi’s… Uchi cast a sideways glance at Koichi as he heard voices. Uekusa had come in.
“Really, Yuki…” Koichi sighed.

“What’s so bad about just having dinner?” Uekusa frowned, sounding annoyed.
“Dinner is fine,” Koichi whined, rolling his eyes. “Just. Not.Right. Now.”
“I came especially to pick you up,” the older man offered.
“Well, that’s really sweet,” Koichi offered, trying to sound more sympathetic. “But you should have called me before just dropping by like this, because then I could have told you that Takizawa ordered me in to hand in the schedule and I can’t just not show and then tell him I felt more like having dinner.”
“But really,” Uekusa tried to argue.
Koichi wasn’t even listening, though. “it won’t take too long, okay? I’ll call you once we’re done.”

He gave Uekusa a quick peck on the cheek and with that he flew out the door, leaving Uekusa and Uchi alone in the room. Even though Uchi knew he’d touch a sensitive topic he couldn’t help his urge to cheer the other up.
“Koichi-kun,” he said timidly, “is very work-bound.”
Uekusa was visibly stiff. “He is…”
“He’s not really the most sensitive,” Uchi mused.
Uekusa chuckled lightly at that. “He’s got… other qualities. He’s loyal and interesting, intelligent and…”
“Good in bed?” Uchi offered.
At first the older man stared at him, but then he laughed. “Do you think he is?”
“I don’t know,” Uchi shrugged. “But this guy sure knows what passion is.”

“That much would be true,” Uekusa agreed. “But then again, there are other things too…”
Uchi blinked at that. “Hm,” he hummed out. “Like… compassion? Being attentive?”
“There are such things,” Uekusa muttered. It looked a bit like his body was shaking.
Uchi bit his lip, for a second wondering what to do, then he simply acted out of a sudden impulse. He walked over to where the other man was standing and simply hugged him to his body.
“If you like,” Uchi whispered to him, “you can rely on me. You’ve always helped me whenever I needed support. You’re such a special person and…” He pulled back slightly to look into the other’s eyes, “…and I think it’s important that someone tells you how wonderful you are.”
“U-Uchi-kun,” Uekusa gasped, his eyes growing wide. “I…” He shook his head. “I am sorry. Somehow you always see the worst of me lately.”

“If this is your worst,” Uchi mused, his fingers slowly threading through the other man’s hair, “then your best is bound to kill with perfection.”
“Why are you…?”
His question was answered by soft lips pressing against his. Even though he’d already known that would happen, his heart skipped a beat. His head was spinning with Uchi, Koichi, the play, his love, his needs, but in the end everything blurred, fading out, everything melting into hot, white nothing.

___________________________________________________________________________________

Night 36

Uekusa looked at the naked body lying next to his and sighed. What had he done? And why? Koichi wasn’t perfect, but this…? Why had he let himself go like that? It was repulsive. He never would have thought of himself as a guy who would cheat. If he wasn’t happy, he could always break up. He kept studying Uchi’s sleeping form. Had the other had a point? Was he staying with Koichi for sex? He kept saying that he loved Koichi, and he did have tender feelings for him. But was it really a romantic love that connected them? He sighed heavily, rubbing his eyes in frustration. Uchi stirred, shifting to see Uekusa sitting on the bed. He moved closer to the other man, covering his body from behind.
“Hey,” he whispered, giving him a soft peck against his neck. “Why aren’t you sleeping?”
“I can’t believe we did this,” Uekusa muttered.

“Mh,” Uchi nodded. His hands wrapped around Uekusa, stroking his skin softly, his lips starting a loving wet trail on the sensitive skin he could reach. “I know. I’m feeling bad too. I don’t know what you’re feeling right now, but it’s not my intension to cut into your relationship.”
“Oh, I know that,” Uekusa smiled. “I didn’t even… I guess we had a weak moment.”
“So, how about we keep this right where it is now?” Uchi suggested.
“An anonymous hotel room?” Uekusa asked, sounding slightly bitter.
“In this very bed,” Uchi explained.
As he leaned in, Uekusa pulled back slightly. “Haven’t we done enough damage?”
“Damage is done,” Uchi told him. “The moment we leave this bed it’s over. Until then, we’re out of this world.”

Uekusa knew that it was a childish idea. But even so, the idea to escape from reality, just for a few hours, appeared so promising. When Uchi approached him again he did not resist. He let himself be kissed, caressed… loved. They sank back onto the sheets, enjoying their intimate little dream.

__________________________________________________________________________________

Day 42

“Uchi!”
Uchi stopped in his tracks. He counted to three in his mind, then swished around to shoot a dirty glare at Koichi.
“Do not stand on stage again,” Koichi stated coldly. The rest of the crew roused muttering.
“But Koichi…” Machida tried to cut in.
“NO!” Koichi burst out. “If you cannot fit into the crew, then I can’t help you. The stage is a moving, living thing. You have to react to it.”
Uchi merely stared at him. Then he shook his head.
“No,” he opposed. “As professionals, we have to… ah…” He scratched his head. “Oh god, sorry, I forgot the right word.”
Koichi sighed. “Really, Uchi. We’ve been rehearsing this forever.”
“I know,” Uchi muttered. “I’m sorry.”
“You seem pretty distracted today,” Koichi mused.

“I’m sorry,” Uchi sighed. “I… I know it’s not a good excuse, but… my boyfriend broke up with me and I’m feeling quite… well, down.”
“You’re right,” Koichi told him, “that’s not a good excuse for a lax working attitude.”
Uchi flinched at that, but Uekusa cut in. “Koichi!”
“What?!” Koichi demanded. “Am I being `insensitive´ again? Sorry, but Uchi, when you come here, I expect you to work properly. If you can’t, call in, tell me and stay at home. It’s not like I don’t understand. If you can’t put your mind to it, it’s okay to take a break. But when you’re like this you’re only keeping us from progressing.”
Uekusa wanted to say something more, but Uchi beat him to it.
“You’re right, Koichi-kun,” the younger man stated, bowing his head. “I’m sorry.”
“Well, you can go home now,” Koichi offered. “Take some time off.”
“No,” Uchi burst out. “I won’t disappoint you again. I promise you, I’ll give you the best character you’ve ever seen.”

Koichi grinned at him. “Look who’s developed some ambition.” He nodded as Uchi smirked back at him. “Very well, let’s take a break and then continue here.”
The crowd spread out, drinking water and resting on the benches.
“Koichi?”
“I know, I know,” Koichi waved his lover of. “I’m being too hard on the boy.”
“No,” Uekusa said, then corrected himself, “I mean yes, you are, but that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about.”
“Oh,” Koichi blinked. “What is it?”
“Koichi, we haven’t had any private time lately,” Uekusa said, voice tense.
“I know,” Koichi sighed, but this time he didn’t sound annoyed, but rather guilty. “I’m sorry, but the first curtain is drawing closer and I…”
“I understand,” Uekusa nodded. “Just… tonight. Can we meet tonight? I… there’s something I want to talk about.”

“Ah, well… okay,” Koichi nodded. “I’ll make it work somehow.”
“Thank you.”
Koichi shot him a smile, before he turned his attention back to his crew. “Okay, everybody,” he announced, clapping his hands together, “let’s get back to work.”
And so, for the hundred-seventy-fourth time (at least that’s how it felt to Uchi) they rehearsed their backstage scene again. Uchi did well, he tried to concentrate and Koichi did not scold him again. Even so they did the scene three times. Then the fighting scene. Then the stairs. Koichi didn’t do the fall every time. It wasn’t necessary and also dangerous on the small underground stage. But he always threw himself into it full force. His gestures and mimics, his movements, everything was so incredibly powerful.

Koichi could fill a huge stage as much as this narrow musty room. Koichi was graceful, royal even. Koichi’s power was beyond words. Koichi…. Koichi. Koichi. Koichi. Oh, how he wished… His eyes focused as he saw his cue move. He picked up the sword in his hands. He gripped the handle hard, turning it to aim at Koichi. He had to concentrate. If he blew this up it would be bad. He closed in on Koichi, waiting, then he felt the grip on his sleeves, they tumbled backwards, Uchi pulled back and stuck out hard and fast and with that the scene ended. As he pulled back, everybody stared, eyes wide. The blade was stained in bright red and the moment it left Koichi’s body the latter sank to the floor lifelessly. Uchi grinned in satisfaction.
"Na, Koichi,” he said in a low voice, “how about you take this experience into your show? Obviously a man who got stabbed doesn’t wobble around for five minutes before dying dramatically. Wouldn’t it be better like this? A stab and it’s over.”
“Uchi…”

Uchi turned around to take in the crew standing behind him in absolute horror.
“Quick, call an ambulance,” Uekusa ordered.
“I’ll do it,” Machida called out, running off.
Matsuzaki rushed forward, pulling the towel from his head and pressing it against Koichi’s wound, making the stabbed man grunt. For a second he felt slightly relieved. Koichi was still alive.
“Tatsumi, get some water,” he ordered, trying to keep Koichi steady. “Hang in there, Kou, help’s on the way.”
“Uchi, what…?” Uekusa stared at the younger man in disbelief. “What have you done?”
“I’ve given him what he wanted,” Uchi shrugged. “He wanted it like this.”
“No,” Uekusa opposed.

“It’s what he deserved anyway,” Uchi said, his voice hard. He turned back to look at Koichi’s unmoving form. “Do you hear me, you bastard? Who’s on top now, huh? You just thought you could have it all - without giving anything. You had a man who loved you. Your own play. People supporting you. I never had any of that. And you didn’t even know how lucky you are. You didn’t even appreciate any of it. And you… you kept playing me. And you enjoyed it. Well, it’s easy to dominate others when power is given to you at random. Some of us don’t get everything just like that. And you wouldn’t give me anything. So I’m taking things from you now. First your lover. You kept love-starving him so bad, it was only too easy to lure him into my bed. Oh yes, he followed me only too willingly and I fucked him in a way you never could. Next I’m taking your life. And then I’ll take what’s more important to you - your part."

“Oh god, Uchi-kun,” Uekusa finally broke out of his shocked freeze. “What… you planned all of this?”
“Not really,” Uchi shrugged. “Things just kept happening. Now who’s the best in characterization, huh? No other second lead ever acted out the way I did.”
“Uchi laughed at that. “When Koichi is like that it’s `passionate´, but when I act the same way I’m `mad´?”
“You fucking stabbed him,” Uekusa demanded.
Everybody’s attention shifted to the door as it was ripped open. Everybody sighed in relief as a medical team rushed in, finding Koichi almost immediately. They took over the treatment and quickly prepared him so he could be moved to the hospital.

Once the scene was clear everybody relaxed slightly, but the atmosphere was close to unbearable. Some people rushed out as quickly as they could, some others sat down together, talking about what had just happened. Uekusa had stayed with Uchi, but they didn’t talk. Only when the police arrived he got up to talk to them. Uchi did not try to escape. There was no use anyway. He merely sat there, waiting to get picked up. All the more he was surprised when the entire crew left again without even talking to him too much. He blinked at Uekusa, who glared back at him.
“What…?” Uchi asked, confused.
“If Koichi should die,” Uekusa explained, “I’ll tell them what really happened, so you’re not out of this yet. If Koichi should turn out to be okay… you might think it’s mad, maybe I am, maybe I too have fallen into the madness of all of this, just like you, but I was thinking that when Koichi comes back and finds you gone, he will be devastated - because then we couldn’t perform the play.”

Uchi first stared at him, then shook his head. “There’s no way he’d ever act with me again.”
“Do you really think so?” Uekusa grinned bitterly. “I think you know his feelings, that’s how you could do this.”
Uchi merely scoffed. “I can’t believe you’re letting me off.”
“I’m not,” Uekusa told him. “This isn’t over.”
“What if I run?” Uchi suggested.
“You won’t.”
At that the younger man chuckled. “No, I won’t.”
“See you later, then. I’ll go and check on Koichi now.”

_____________________________________________________________________________________

“I’m sorry, sir,” the nurse insisted. “Only family.”
Uekusa cursed harshly. “Dammit, I want to know how he’s doing.”
“I’ve told you…”
“He’s okay.”
Uekusa looked up and stared.
“Let him through,” Tsuyoshi requested. “I’d be happy with some company and they are really close.”
“Oh well,” the nurse said doubtfully, but eventually she broke. “Okay, fine.”
She let Uekusa pass by.
“Thank you,” he sighed in relief.
“Not a problem,” Tsuyoshi nodded at him.

Then the older man blinked at him. “How come you are here before me?”
“Koichi is the better half of my soul,” Tsuyoshi smiled at him. “How could I not be here right now?” When Uekusa merely gave him an annoyed look he gave up on his act. “Machida called me,” he shrugged, so I rushed right over.”
“And how come they let you see him?” Uekusa asked.
It was Tsuyoshi’s turn to give him a pointed look. “Domoto,” he offered, pointing at himself.
Uekusa’s eyes grew wide. “Oh, right. Neat trick.” Then his face grew darker. “How is he?”
“Still alive,” Tsuyoshi stated flatly. “Sorry, I haven’t heard anything else.”
Uekusa nodded curtly. “So we’ll have to wait.”
Tsuyoshi nodded in agreement. “Care to tell me what happened?”

Uekusa thought about re-telling the lies he had told the police officers, but in the end he knew that Tsuyoshi wouldn’t buy it.
“Uchi lost it,” he finally came out. “He’s completely… I don’t really know what it is. But he’s… completely mad. He stabbed Koichi during rehearsals.”
Tsuyoshi sighed, taking the news in. “Police?” he finally asked.
“I’m keeping them at distance for now,” Uekusa explained.
“I see…”
“Oh god,” Uekusa sighed, finally sitting down. Suddenly he felt like his legs couldn’t carry him any longer. He rested his elbows on his knees and buried his face in his hands. “Please, let him be okay…”

____________________________________________________________________________________

Koichi was sitting in his bed, looking close to normal. He was a bit pale and his eyes were unfocused, but nothing in his appearance gave away that he had been stabbed a mere few hours ago. There was a tray of food standing next to his bed and it seemed that Koichi had even eaten some of what has been brought to him. He did not say a word, though. Didn’t even recognize Uekusa as he slowly approached him.
“How are you feeling?” Uekusa finally asked carefully.
Koichi was silent for a moment. Then he turned to look at Uekusa. His mind seemed far away.
“Really?” Koichi finally asked sarcastically. “Small talk?”
Uekusa frowned, but let it slip, Koichi was probably still in shock - how very fitting.
“No, Koichi,” he opposed sternly. “I’m not making idle conversation. I was worried for your life, dammit.”
“And I almost died,” Koichi shot back. “If it’s not idle conversation, it’s fucking stupid. How do you think I would be feeling after such an experience?”

For a moment Uekusa didn’t know what to say. Then he sighed. “You have a point, actually.” He chuckled. “Even after such an assault you’re still acting so superior.”
“It’s something that comes with trauma,” Koichi shrugged. “When your mind is on overload it will close down to well-known functions. That’s why trauma is so tricky to handle, it can show in so many ways it’s not even always recognized as…”
“Koichi,” Uekusa cut in. “I’m sorry, but…”
“Oh,” Koichi made, grinning sheepishly. “Sorry, I guess I can’t help it.”
“It’s okay,” the other assured him. “I had feared I’d never hear your voice again. I just wanted to say…” He finally sat down next to Koichi’s bed. “Oh god, Koichi, I had no idea. That kid… totally got out of control. I can’t believe I didn’t notice…”
“Nobody noticed anything,” Koichi told him. “It’s not your fault.” He bit his lip. “So… what about Uchi-kun.”

“He went home, I guess,” Uekusa shrugged. When Koichi stared at him he chuckled. “What, so shocked?”
“I’m… surpsired,” Koichi explained. “Why…?”
“I wasn’t sure,” Uekusa told him, “how you would want it. I kept everything hidden for now. We can still do him in, if that’s what you want. But I wanted to talk to you first. It’s also… about the play, after all.”
“Wow,” Koichi smiled sadly. “That’s unexpected. I didn’t think you’d care.”
“I want to… I…” Uekusa was lost for words.
“You were feeling guilty?” Koichi guessed. “So what Uchi said is true?”
The older man flinched at that. “So you did hear him.”
“I heard everything.”

“Koichi, I… it is true,” Uekusa admitted. “I… was weak.”
“I see.” There was a pause. Then, “Do you like him?”
Uekusa watched his lover lying in bed, arms hanging lifelessly over his slightly bent knees as he looked out the window. He bit his lip.
“Do you really think this is the time to discuss something like that?” he finally asked.
“Why not?” Koichi shrugged, still not looking at the other. “I mean, you found it a considerate time to fuck him, so why get all shy about it now?”
Uekusa sighed. “Koichi… It’s not him.”
Finally Koichi turned his head to look at the other. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“What I mean is, I don’t want him as my lover, or anything.”
“Then why…?”

“He kind of… It’s really lame to say that, but he kinda caught me off guard,” Uekusa explained.
“So, it’s not him,” Koichi repeated. “Which means it’s someone else - whatever `it´might mean here. But I’m guessing you mean that it’s me and that you’re telling me now that you think we’re not working anymore?”
“Koichi… I’m really sorry,” the other said sincerely. “The truth is, I’ve been trying to talk to you for a while, but somehow you didn’t even look at me long enough so I can break up with you.”
For a second Koichi looked like he’d burst into tears, but then he straightened himself slightly and merely nodded.
“Wow, that’s quite a blow,” he muttered in a low voice.
“I’m sorry, Koichi, I really am,” the other assured him. “And I tried. I really did, but somehow… you don’t even seem to see…”

“So you don’t like him?” Koichi asked. “You just… fucked him.”
“What… does that have to do with anything?” Uekusa burst out. “Dammit, Koichi, do you even understand what’s happening here? I’m telling you that I’m leaving you.”
“Yeah, I heard you,” Koichi shot back, “you made a very clear point there. I can’t help being who I am and if you can’t live with it, it’s only convenient that you try to find someone more suitable for your wishes. But how could you do that to the kid? He’s a mess as it is - what’s going to happen to him now?”
“What do I care?” Uekusa shouted, shooting up from his seat. Suddenly it was him who had tears in his eyes. “You really don’t give a shit, do you? About me. About us.”
“You’re the one who’s breaking up,” Koichi shrugged.
“But you… don’t you feel anything?” the other demanded. “Anything at all?!”
“Like what?” Koichi wanted to know.

Uekusa felt like slapping him. “Aren’t you mad? Sad? Frustrated? I’m leaving you, dammit. Do you even love me?”
“Love…” Koichi mused. “It’s such a weird concept. It really bares no logics at all. If I tell you now that I don’t see the point in begrudging something I cannot change, does that mean for you that I do not love you?”
“Pretty much,” Uekusa answered in a tight voice.
“I see,” Koichi nodded. “In that case I’m afraid that I’ll make you feel that way - although I feel differently about it. I am not indifferent when it’s about you. But I cannot bend the way you want me to and if I don’t you say you will leave me, so what else is there for me to do, but accept that it’s not working?”
“You are…” Uekusa shook his head in disbelief. “You’re unbelievable. I can’t believe I fell for you.”

“It’s nothing I can help,” Koichi told him, his gaze drifting out the window again.
Obviously, their talk was over for him. For once Uekusa was happy about that, though, because he was done talking to Koichi as well.
“Well, then,” he stated as he made to leave, “that’s it, I guess. Get better soon.”
“Yuki…”
The other turned at the mere sound of his first name. Koichi very rarely used it.
“Yes?”
“Do not… leave him alone right now,” Koichi requested. “He is lost. I know the feeling. I was so close to… becoming `Koichi´. He needs help.”
“The kid fucking stabbed you and you’re concerned about his well-being?” Uekusa asked in disbelief.

“As I said, I know the misery he’s feeling now.”
“Do you even know misery?” Uekusa asked and couldn’t help feeling a tiny bit of satisfaction as he saw that obviously that hit Koichi.
“You have no idea…”
Even so, there was nothing more to be said, so Uekusa sighed as he turned around and left. He didn’t even know why he did not take off in the direction of his apartment as he got into his car.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Night 46

Uchi blinked when his doorbell rang. He got up, wondering whether the police was going to pick him up after all. As he opened the door his eyes widened in shock.
“Uchi-kun,” Uekusa greeted him. “Can I come in?”
“Ah… s-sure,” Uchi stuttered, letting him slip in.
“Koichi’s okay for now,” Uekusa told him right away.
“Good,” Uchi nodded.
“Good?” the other asked in disbelief. “You’re the reason he’s in hospital. You fucking tried to kill him.”
“I did not,” Uchi opposed. “I meant to stab him, but I didn’t go for a kill.”
“Oh wow,” Uekusa bit out sarcastically. “In that case, I guess we can all go home now and drink some tea.”

“I realize it already, okay?” Uchi spat at him. Then his eyes turned sad and he sighed. “I refused to see it… Ryo kept telling me I was drifting away. That’s why he broke up with me. He said he couldn’t live with me like that. I don’t know, I was so lost in my… haze. I just put the blame for everything on Koichi. I can’t believe I… did something like that.”
“Well, first off, that’s some (Einsicht). Congratulations. The moment you stab Koichi you realize that it’s not a good idea?”
“I know,” Uchi said miserably. “I can’t tell you why that is. Everything that had been building up inside of me simply… exploded. Afterwards I was just… empty.”
“Well, I hope you at least realize that your problem isn’t dealt with,” Uekusa stated.
Uchi blinked at him. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, you’ve got to sign up for therapy,” Uekusa explained. “Otherwise this could happen again. You’ve got to learn how to compensate your problems - without stabbing people.”
Uchi bit his lip. He nodded thoughtfully. “I guess you’re right. So… Koichi-kun is okay?”
“Quite,” the other nodded. “He’ll be alright. Luckily nothing serious got cut - which is basically a miracle.”
“I’m really glad to hear that,” Uchi smiled.
The younger man seemed bothered and Uekusa caught on pretty quickly.
“He told me to refrain from reporting you. We’ll handle this as an unfortunate accident.”
“Oh god,” Uchi sighed in relief. Suddenly tears came to his eyes. “Oh my god, I… thank you. Thank you so much. I… I would like to tell Koichi that I’m sorry and grateful and…” He broke off, sobs shaking his body.
Uekusa quickly rushed forward, taking the other into his arms.
“It’ll be okay,” he crooned softly. “It’s going to be alright.”

“Yuki,” Uchi sighed desperately. “I’m so sorry. I wish I could… do something. I wish I would have seen. You must hate me now.”
“I don’t hate you,” Uekusa assured him.
“But… oh god, please don’t think I just… I mean, I did - I used you. And I feel so… I regret it so much. Not… that we did it, just… that it happened like that. You’re always so… sweet and kind and loving. I really… like you.”
“Uchi-kun,” Uekusa interrupted him. “Stop here. We’ll talk about that some other time, okay?” He stroked Uchi’s hair lovingly. “First you have to sort yourself out. Then we’ll go about your feelings for other people, okay?”
“I’m so sorry,” Uchi muttered. He kept repeating the words like a mantra and Uekusa kept holding him, telling him that it would be okay.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Day 53

“Good morning,” Uchi called out as he quickly dropped his bag onto the floor. “I’m so sorry, there was some trouble with the metro.”
“Well, too bad that you’re late,” Koichi stated casually. “Now you’ll haveto skip the warm-up. Come on, line in quickly.”
“Ah, yes.”
Rehearsal started as usual. Quite as usual. They had resumed their work about a week after Koichi’s… accident. Ever since then things had gotten quite back to routine. The first day had been very difficult. However, everybody showed a rather big amount of sympathy for him. A few weeks later the crew was already joking about the incident. During their breaks they would sit together and talk nonsense.

“It was bound to happen someday,” Tatsumi told Uchi.
“Yeah,” Yonehana grinned. “I more than once wanted to kill him. And I’m sure I wasn’t the only one.”
“Nope,” Fukuda agreed. “I absolutely had such fantasies too.”
“How very charming,” Koichi cut in. “I didn’t realize I was that much of a pain.”
“It’s not like you’ll ever change,” Matsuzaki shrugged.
“True,” Koichi laughed.
“And we love you the way you are,” Machida smiled at him.
“I’m still feeling so stupid,” Uchi said timidly. “I can’t believe I developed such tendencies.”

“Sounds like therapie is really kicking in,” Koichi smiled at him.
“Yeah, totally no killing urges anymore,” Uchi nodded. “I already learned so much.”
“And I too can tell that you’re doing well. You’ve gotten to be one of the loudest guys in here.”
“I’m sorry, I…”
“No,” Koichi shook his head. “That’s good. You bring yourself in so well. You pass on your needs immediately. It’s a good thing to do.”
“See?” Uekusa grinned. “I keep telling you so.”
“Please,” Koichi moaned, rolling his eyes. “We don’t need any bedroom details.”
“I didn’t even say anything,” Uekusa shrugged.

“Whatever,” Koichi waved him off. “Let’s continue and…” Koichi blinked as his phone vibrated. He quickly grabbed the item and scanned it. His eyes glittered and he bit his lip. “Ah, or maybe… how about this? We finish a bit early today and do an extra hour tomorrow.”
Everybody stared at him.
“What?!” Koichi demanded.
“You… you want to finish early?” Machida wanted to confirm. “Are you… sure?”
“Yeah,” Koichi shrugged. “Why not? We come back tomorrow and stay longer.”
“Oh,” Uekusa dragged out with a grin. “Seems like someone else is improving too.” The way their relationship had ended was still bothering him a bit, but generally he was glad to see that Koichi had obviously found someone to attract his attention and make him give the man his passion.

“What are you talking about?” Koichi asked, but his face blushed slightly.
“Are you having a date tonight?” Uekusa asked, amused.
Koichi pouted. “Well… so what if?”
“Do we get to know who the lucky guy is?” Yonehana grinned. “I mean, he must be special, since you’re cutting our session short.”
“Well, he’s a busy guy, so we both agreed that every now and then we have to cut back on our work.”
“So, who is it, then?”
The second later the door swung open and Tackey stood in the frame. “Dammit, Koichi, are you coming now, or what?!”

“Er…” Koichi stuttered. He quickly rushed towards the other, hoping to avoid awkward questions, or worse, embarrassing cat-calls. “Well guys, we’re done for today. See you tomorrow.”
With that he was gone.
“Are you okay?”
Uekusa blinked in surprise at the question. Then he smiled at his boyfriend. “Sure. I have the best man of the crew.”
“Aw,” Uchi made. Then his face went stern. “Only of the crew?”
Uekusa laughed, pulling the younger man into his arms and kissing him quite passionately.
“You are the best man of all,” he stated.
Uchi chuckled lightly. The rest of the crew, however, retreated.
“Really, guys,” Matsuzaki called out as he left, “get yourselves a room.”

Uchi grinned broadly and then resumed their earlier kiss. He never would have thought that he and Uekusa would end up being a couple. But really, even though their first encounter was everything but fortunate, as time went by they fit together completely naturally. Uekusa was kind and loving and attentive, everything he ever could have dreamt of. He sighed into the kiss, pulling his lover closer.
“You’re too demanding,” Uekusa told him. “I thought it was good to `voice my needs´?” Uchi asked innocently. Then he grinned slyly. “I have needs.”
“Yeah, I can feel that,” Uekusa answered. “How about… we take this somewhere else?”
“Why?” Uchi grinned mischievously.
“Because if we do it here I’ll never be able to concentrate again.”

“Hm,” Uchi hummed. “Koichi would freak.”
“A tempting picture.”
“Indeed.”
They both chuckled.
“So,” Uekusa mused. “My place? Or hotel?”
“Oh, hotel sounds… naughty,” Uchi grinned.
“Any preferences?”
“Ah, I’ll prefer… fucking you,” Uchi told him.
“That’s not what I meant, though,” the other opposed.
“Too late, honey,” Uchi told him, pulling him along as he too moved out the door. “Your ass is mine tonight.”

__________________________________________________________________________________

Finally all done. I hope you liked it. *bows*