Gift Fic for lilly0
Title: Life Must Go On
Pairing/Group: Uchi/Uekusa, Koichi/Uekusa, Ryo/Uchi
Rating: NC-17 for adult content
Warnings: Language, sexual situations, adultary, mental distress
Summary: Endless SHOCK is going into another round in 2010. Uchi is new to the crew and he needs to fit in. How will he do? In a company with so many different characters many things will happen. The story begins at the beginning of rehearsals on day 4.
Note: So, here it is, the story that came to my mind. I really, really hope you will like it somehow. I think it's very different from what you expected. It's also different from what I intended when I started and now it turned out like this. Please, enjoy.
Day 04
Ryo stirred as he felt something next to him shifting. He blinked his eyes open, seeing the figure of his lover getting up.
“You’re leaving already?” he asked sleepily.
“Oh, did I wake you?” Uchi asked, sounding apologetic. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to wake you up - it’s still so early and you’ve had some busy days.”
“Where are you going now anyway?”
Uchi sighed. “Rehearsals. Koichi-kun asked me to come in early. He said I need some coaching on the steps.”
“What - so you’ll be practicing alone?” Ryo asked, sitting up.
Uchi sneered slightly. “I doubt he will deprive himself of the pleasure of correcting me repeatedly, so I assume he’ll be there.”
“He can be quite a pain,” Ryo muttered. “I remember…”
“It’s not like he’s picking on me particularly,” Uchi shrugged. “It’s a bit of an unfortunate situation to be the only new guy on set.”
“I’m feeling with you,” Ryo smiled at him.
“Thanks,” the other smiled back. “I’d better hurry now, though. See you later.”
“Okay,” Ryo beamed at him.
Uchi swished out the door, leaving his lover back alone. Only a second later he stuck his head back into the room, though.
“You go back to sleep. You need to rest.”
“Get going already,” Ryo muttered, rolling his eyes, but finally shifting himself into a lying position again.
Uchi smiled at that and finally made to leave.
__________________________________________________________________________________
“Good morning, Uchi-kun,” Koichi greeted his co-actor happily.
“Good morning, Koichi-kun,” Uchi answered with a polite nod.
“I hope you had some good rest?”
“It was good enough,” Uchi told him, “but quite short.”
“Sorry for asking you here so early,” Koichi smiled apologetically. “I just thought it would be easier for you to practice without everybody else being around. You always seem a bit uncomfortable in the crowd. Of course, it’s also more comfortable for the others if we don’t keep them with basic training when everybody is here.”
Uchi nodded, biting his lip. He knew Koichi meant well and he was really actually a nice and considerate guy, but the way he said things could hit you hard. Suddenly he felt like a burden for the crew, because naturally he couldn’t live up to the standards they had. He was giving it his best, though, and at least Koichi gave him the chance to improve.
They started out with some basic movement studies. Koichi was very particular about the dos and don’ts, the logics of motorics and personal interpretation. Some of the concepts were easy to grasp and seemed almost ridiculous to Uchi. Why would anyone define 19 different standing positions? Koichi just kept insisting that definition was the basic of every science and art, which he simply had to accept. Other things, then, were completely out of his reach and too abstract to really understand.
Later they changed to choreography. Uchi found that he remembered the steps easily, much quicker than Koichi usually did, but he always had difficulties coordinating them. Koichi let him practice, inspecting him and throwing in instructions, whenever he forgot a certain element.
“Head!”
“Rise, rise!”
“Shoulders back!”
About two hours later Uchi was pretty spent and sank to the floor with an exhausted sigh.
“You’ve got quite the spirit,” Koichi praised him. “There’s still a lot to do, though. Well, for today I think that should be enough.”
Uchi merely nodded, still feeling to weak to even look up.
“You’re ruining the kid.”
Koichi swished around to find the source of the complaining voice. His eyes widened slightly in surprise.
“Yuki… what are you doing here?”
“What do you mean, what am I doing here?” Uekusa asked, sounding a bit sour. “What are you doing here?! You just sneaked out of the apartment. When I woke up you were gone, no note, or anything - what kind of attitude is that?”
“Ah, I didn’t want to wake you up,” Koichi shrugged. “I’m sorry, I…”
“Why are you even here, anyway?” the other kept complaining. “You came home at 3am and three hours later you’re already off again.”
“Because Uchi-kun needs to practice,” Koichi told him.
Uekusa looked at the young man sitting on the floor and frowned. “Do you think this is a good idea?”
“I don’t mind,” Uchi blurted out. “It’s really okay. I appreciate Koichi-kun supports me so much. Even though I’m slow sometimes, he doesn’t get mad, but he comes for extra hours of training.”
Uekusa eyed his lover. “He’d be someone to complain about people being slow…”
“I’m not saying the training is not good for me,” Koichi shrugged with a grin. “Come on, Uchi-kun, one more time."
___________________________________________________________________________________
Day 16
Uchi sighed as he sat down on a bench, completely exhausted. He was still struggling with… well with pretty much everything. The lines, the fighting, the dancing… He was pretty sure he was improving, though. And his muscles didn’t hurt as bad anymore every time rehearsals were over. Eve so Koichi kept pushing him, correcting him repeatedly and letting him do even the smallest routine over and over until he was completely satisfied. He had blended in with the crew well, though, which was nice. However, for the time being he was glad to be by himself. He had placed himself in a corner where he wouldn’t be spotted easily. He needed some alone time. He blinked, however, as he heard voices rousing.
“I can’t help thinking that it’s too much for him. He’s working hard and all, but no matter what we do, he just can’t reach the level that I need.”
That was Koichi’s voice.
“Koichi, it’s his first year,” Uekusa argued.
“I understand that,” Koichi nodded. “It takes time. But for now, he is so busy catching up with everybody, I don’t think he will manage the solo stuff. We can change his scenes in later productions, but for now I’d feel better if you took over a few things.”
“You’re too pressed,” Uekusa told him.
“It’s my play,” Koichi stated firmly. “All of this was created by me. My passion, my money, my heart goes into this. I am considering Uchi-kun, of course. But the company comes first, as does the play.”
“Your heart,” Uekusa muttered sadly. “It really goes into the play. Along with your passion, I agree. You know, sometimes I wonder why your main character got your own name…”
“Everybody is using their own names,” Koichi shrugged. “It’s for the character of the play, because it tells our own story in a way.”
“Does it?” Uekusa asked. “It feels that way sometimes. You should be more careful, Koichi. Take a look sideways every now and then on your way to the top, or else you will miss some very important things.”
“Please, Yuki, no speech now,” Koichi moaned, rolling his eyes.
“I support you where I can,” Uekusa tried to calm his lover. “I’ll take over a few parts too, if you want me to. I’m just saying, maybe you’re getting too… absorbed.”
“I think we’ve had that discussion,” Koichi stated, sounding annoyed.
“We have,” Uekusa agreed.
“Okay, and I can’t have it again now. We’ll talk at home, okay? I have to get going, I have an appointment for an interview.”
With that Koichi obviously left, because the conversation ended there. Uchi felt bad, it wasn’t nice to eavesdrop like that. But then, he had gotten caught up in the situation by accident. He could have left, of course, or shown himself. Just… He looked at Uekusa standing in the room, sighing sadly. Uchi bit his lip for a second, then he stepped out into the room. Uekusa blinked at the unexpected noise, but relaxed as he saw the younger man standing in the door.
“Sorry,” Uchi blurted out, not really knowing why that was the word that came out.
Uekusa merely waved him off, though. “It’s not like Koichi would have held back if he had known that you are here.”
“Koichi-kun… is a bit weird,” Uchi stated carefully.
Uekusa laughed at that. “Agreed. But, you know, his passion, his devotion, his passion… it’s something that I love about him. I love watching him getting engaged like that.”
“I’d be jealous, if it were me,” Uchi tried to joke.
“I am sometimes,” Uekusa said, his tone more earnest than Uchi would have liked, “but in the end, I’m the one he can rely on.”
“You are wonderful,” Uchi cheered. “Koichi is so lucky.” Once he said the words he realized how they must have sounded. He blushed furiously. “I mean,” he stuttered, “you’re a good man and Koichi really is lucky. I just hope he appreciates you appropriately.”
“Aw, Uchi-kun,” Uekusa smiled at him. “You’re really sweet. Thank you.”
Uchi blinked as he got a light peck to his cheek. Trying to change the subject he decided to get daring about what he just witnessed.
“Uekusa-kun,” he asked carefully, “do you think… Koichi-kun has issues?”
“It’s nothing much,” Uekusa waved him off.
“It sounded like… something,” Uchi tried carefully. “Like… like he’s kind of - I don’t know - blending into his character.”
Uekusa laughed slightly at that, but it sounded a bit forced. “Koichi once said that he would prefer to die at work, but I highly doubt that he meant it like that.”
“It feels weird, though,” Uchi mused.
“You shouldn’t worry about these things,” Uekusa told him, patting his shoulder. “I’m just sorry you overheard…”
Uchi blinked for a second, then he understood, blushing, but waving the other off. “Nah, it’s all true, after all. I have trouble getting through all the parts. I guess Koichi-kun is right, for a first year it might be too much for me to get a solo part too. The dancing is almost killing me as it is.”
“We’ll find something suitable for you,” Uekusa promised him with a smile.
“Thank you,” Uchi nodded gratefully. “Ne…”
“Hm?”
“Do you… love him?” Uchi asked, feeling stupid, but he simply couldn’t help it.
“Oh, I do.”
_________________________________________________________________________________
Night 16
“Fuck, Yuki,” Koichi groaned out.
He was pumping his lover hard and fast, making him moan desperately. Koichi grinned as he felt quivering hands digging almost painfully into the flesh around his shoulder blades. His lover was so responsive, always so hot, tight, it felt like the wet hole was trying to milk him and he would devour him until the very last second, revel in the feeling of hot, sweaty, sticky…
“Good,” Uekusa moaned out. “Yeah, come on, right there…”
Sex with Koichi was… hot, thrilling, dirty, passionate and many other things. He always delved into it with vigor. Even so, there were some things he would never get.
“Koichi, kiss me,” he breathed out.
He could see the annoyed gleam in Koichi’s eyes, feel the slightly unsteady shifting he did, hear the slight sigh that escaped his lips, but then he felt the plush petals against his mouth and latched on. He knew Koichi didn’t appreciate “romantic distraction” while they were fucking, but just every now and then Uekusa needed that small sign of affection. And Koichi always gave it to him too. He was just like that. Determined. In everything that he did. It was his job to please his lover. Per definition. End of story. If Uekusa wanted a kiss, he would give it to him - even though he would never understand why it had to happen in that exact moment.
Even so he dove down, kissing the other heatedly, giving him some good tongue and just to make sure he did a proper job of it he licked the sensitive area of Uekusa’s neck, right behind his ear. He felt a shaky breath blowing softly by his face and figured he had done a proper job, so he drew back and finally concentrated on the real thing again. His dick was driving into his lover like mad, making him moan and beg and ask for more. He was only too willing to give the other his everything. His hand found Uekusa’s cock, starting to stroke it with intent right from the beginning. He felt his orgasm approaching fast and doubled his efforts on his lover, who finally, with a longing sigh of relief, cramped his legs around his rutting form as he came all over Koichi’s stroking hand. Koichi heaved a small sigh of relief before he threw himself into his thrusts. It didn’t take much more to throw him over the edge too and he came, long and hard, coating the insides of his lover.
“Feel me,” he whispered into Uekusa’s ear.
“Mh, Koichi…”
“Fuck, that was good,” Koichi sighed in satisfaction.
“Oh god, Koichi,” Uekusa gasped. “I… love you so much.”
His arms went around Koichi’s neck, pulling him down into a tender kiss. Koichi let it happen easily, although that kind of thing always made him feel a bit… off. Some time ago he decided that it was okay to say the words that would make Uekusa happy - just to make him happy. He was his lover, after all, he should do what it took to make him happy.
“I love you too…”
___________________________________________________________________________________
Day 23
“Uchi-kun!”
Uchi cringed at the harsh tone. “Yes?”
The music was turned off and Uchi knew this would be bad.
“I’ll be telling you this one more time,” Koichi grumbled angrily. “It’s quarter turn left, then you shift and it’s 3/8 turn right, not a half turn, dammit. You’re never in synch with the rest of your group.”
Uchi sighed miserably. “I totally don’t get that 1/8 concept at all. Why can’t it just be a half turn?”
“I’m not discussing the choreography with you,” Koichi told him, hands on his hips, “just because you keep messing up. Why can’t you do it just like everyone else?”
Uchi bit his lip, not knowing what to say. He was trying hard, but somehow it seemed like he just couldn’t live up to Koichi’s expectations. Koichi, the perfectionist, who expected the best of everybody. He was giving it his best - what did it mean that his best obviously wasn’t good enough? He would never be able to stand next to Koichi. Never.
“I’m s-sorry,” was all he could finally muster.
Koichi merely sighed, shaking his head. “Go home, Uchi-kun. It seems you can’t get your mind to it today. We’ll be rehearsing this for you later.”
Uchi looked at the floor, sighing in defeat. When Koichi turned his back to him, though, his gaze hardened.
“No,” he opposed.
Koichi turned back to blink at him. “What?”
“No, I don’t want to go,” Uchi stated firmly. “I want to practice with everybody. You might think I’m still not ready, maybe that I’ll never be fit, but I want to keep working so you won’t have to fear that I’ll blow it on stage. Please, let me show you what I can do.”
Koichi considered him for a moment, then he grinned and nodded his approval.
“Very well,” he offered. “Show me what you’ve got, then. But for now you’ll switch into third row. Try to get in synch with the others.”
“Yes,” Uchi nodded, finding his new position.
He could not disappoint Koichi. And he wouldn’t. He’d show him what he was capable of. The following try was close to disastrous. He messed up on the pace and his directions. This time, however, he received no scolding as he had expected. At first he felt relieved, but then he understood what that actually meant. Koichi wasn’t even considering him anymore. He kept the rehearsal running with no more care of what he did. Uchi still pulled through. He had to show Koichi that he was willing to do anything - which he was. It was hard, though. Koichi picked up the pace quite some, wanting to get a few more things done.
By the time the rehearsal was over Uchi was panting hard, his legs feeling wobbly and his mind almost broken. How could he ever fit into such a production? He sank to the floor in a corner of the room, draining an entire bottle of water in one go. He didn’t even notice how guy after guy swept out, but suddenly he found himself siting there by himself. And finally he broke. Tears welled up in his eyes and he didn’t care at all anymore, he just wanted to cry it all out. The helpless frustration, the anger… Sobs started to shake his body as he curled in on himself, letting everything out, relieving his body of the unbearable tension it had been in the entire day - if not longer.
“Why are you crying now?”
Uchi started, looking up. Of course, he wasn’t entirely by himself. Of course, there had to be more. Of course, his humiliation wasn’t finished yet.
“I can’t do it,” Uchi merely sobbed out, not even trying to hide his tears - there was no use now anyway.
“Oh, stop talking bullshit,” Uekusa demanded ,rolling his eyes. “You’re doing great.”
“You heard Koichi,” Uchi insisted. “At first he just kept saying how I couldn’t get it right, then he didn’t even care for that anymore.
Uekusa sighed, crouching down next to Uchi. “Koichi,” he began, trying to sound sympathetic, “sometimes doesn’t notice when he’s being… too harsh. He’s a very straightforward guy. People often feel offended by that. He doesn’t even know he’s hurting you.”
“If I can’t meet his expectations, I can’t go complaining when he scolds me,” Uchi shrugged.
“There are many ways to say things. If you’re not okay with how he goes about it, then tell him, dammit. You shouldn’t sit here and cry in secret. He just is the kind of guy you have to slap across the face if he won’t stop annoying you. He won’t mind, trust me.”
Uchi bit his lip, thinking about that.
“Please, believe me,” Uekusa pressed, grasping Uchi’s shoulder reassuringly. “The last thing he wants to do is to get you demotivated. He wants you to throw yourself into it with passion. How can you do that when you despise the rehearsal sessions?”
“Okay,” Uchi nodded weakly.
“So, next time you feel over-strained, just let it fly towards him,” Uekusa told him. “It’ll be better, then. Okay?”
“Right.” Finally the younger man sighed in relief. His tears had dried and he gave Uekusa a smile. Next Uekusa blinked in surprise as he felt his shoulders being grasped as Uchi pulled him into a hug, holding on tightly, enjoying the warm feeling. “Thank you,” he whispered and Uekusa felt a tinge of guilt in the pit of his stomach, because he found he hadn’t felt so cherished in a long time. It was just Uchi - the kid was so sweet and loving, without having any further intentions. Just sweet.
__________________________________________________________________________________
Night 23
“Oh god, I can’t move as much as an inch anymore,” Koichi complained as he flopped down on his sofa. “Yuki, you’ll have to carry me to bed tonight,” he announced lazily. “Oh, and sorry, but I’m afraid I can’t pleasure you tonight.”
“That’s okay,” Uekusa chuckled in amusement, sitting down next to his lover, stroking his hair softly.
He loved Koichi’s hair. It was soft and shiny and downright wonderful. In his current state Koichi did not voice any complaints either. In fact, Koi chi seemed very relaxed, so Uekusa decided it might be a good moment to reason with his lover.
“You’re destroying yourself,” he scolds mildly, his fingers tracing lazy patterns on Koichi’s relaxed face. “And you’re destroying the crew.”
“Nah, they’re used to it,” Koichi mumbled silently.
“Not all of them,” Uekusa pointed out. “Uchi-kun is really trying hard, but I think you’re too hard on him. He doesn’t understand you’re only trying to make him rise higher.”
“He will understand,” Koichi argued, frowning slightly. “Do we have to talk about work right now? How about this - I’ll pull you if you pull me.”
“This is not about sex,” Uekusa told him. “I’m just really thinking that you’re asking too much of the kid.”
“You’re just being overly protective,” Koichi waved him off. “He’s doing fine. And he’ll learn.”
“He didn’t look so fine when I found him after rehearsals today crying his eyes out, because he thought you were ignoring him.”
Koichi stiffened slightly, but then merely shrugged. “There was no more I could have told him.”
“Just try and be a bit nice to him,” Uekusa requested.
“Fine,” Koichi yawned. “How about that hand-job now?”
“Koichi, I think you should have some hot drink now and then get some rest. Maybe you’ll get a full five hours of sleep.”
“Sleeping is boring, though,” Koichi complained. “Plus, so inefficient. I can’t do anything productive while I’m sleeping. It’s a total waste of time.”
“Sometimes you’re really scaring me,” Uekusa stated, a knowing smile on his face. “You’d work on your choreography, or your lines while dreaming if you could.”
“Now that would be something totally brilliant,” Koichi beamed. “I could work while sleeping.”
“You’d lose your mind,” Uekusa opposed. “You would never stop thinking about your work.”
“Maybe not,” Koichi agreed. “And it might make me lose it.”
“It’s good to think of other things sometimes,” Uekusa advised.
“What should I be thinking of?” Koichi asked, obviously wanting input.
“How about… me?” the older man joked.
Koichi chuckled lightly, actually snuggling into his lover’s warm form. “I’m thinking about you way more than would be good for work.”
“Oh?” Uekusa asked, raising a brow. “You’re thinking of me when you’re at work? Shame on you.”
“You like that?” Koichi asked, sounding amused.
“You know,” the other mused, “sometimes it feels like your work is your first love and we just… kinda happened. But when you say things like that I can’t help thinking that you did choose me especially.”
“I did,” Koichi told him.
“That is nice to hear,” Uekusa smiled.
“Hm,” Koichi hummed thoughtfully. “Now I’m wondering, would you think it’s cheating when I think about work while I’m with you?”
Uekusa laughed at that. “I don’t think I could make you forget about it entirely. So long as it’s not while we’re having sex, I’ll live with it.”
“Definitely not during sex,” Koichi told him. “Play-Koichi doesn’t have sex. He doesn’t even crave it. His drive goes into another direction completely. The ultimate love, absolutely pure. It’s beautiful in a way.”
“But also forever one-sided,” Uekusa told him.
Koichi sat up, looking into his lover’s eyes. “Which is why I share sex with you alone.”
“That’s good to hear,” the other muttered, brushing their lips together softly. “Now get changed and go to bed.”
“Okay,” Koichi sighed. “I really am tired.”
Uekusa smiled after him. And about fifteen minutes later the two of them were lying in bed together. Uekusa sighed in content. It had gotten rare for them to sleep together like that. He snaked his arm around Koichi’s waist, enjoying the warmth of his body. Soon he felt the body next to him shifting, though.
“Yuki, really… I can’t sleep like that,” Koichi complained.
“Just a few minutes, then?” Uekusa asked, kissing Koichi’s shoulder blade affectionately.
“Fine,” Koichi gave him, settling down again.
Uekusa sighed happily once more, ignoring the fact that Koichi showed no interest in engaging in the intimate moment. It didn’t matter. Not really. Koichi always accepted him happily, something he knew Koichi did not do easily, so they had a special connection. He enjoyed the closeness for a few more minutes, before, as promised, he pulled back and arranged himself to sleep next to Koichi.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Day 26
Uchi panted in exhaustion. Their session had been a lot better than any of the ones before, but even so he still felt like a nuisance. Koichi hadn’t talked to him all day and he couldn’t help wondering what the other was thinking. At the same time he felt angry with himself. Why was it so important for him what Koichi thought? Of course, he was the head of the company, but that didn’t make him something like his boss. It seemed that for the first time since he joined the company he broke down no earlier than at least some other people. Machida and Tatsumi dropped onto the floor, completely spent, Matsuzaki leaned heavily against a wall and even Koichi looked more than spent.
“Thank you, everybody,” Koichi called out, waving weakly. “Otsukare-sama desu.”
Within a mere few minutes most of the actors swept out the door, but Uchi was still feeling too weak to get up.
“Uchi-kun.”
Uchi looked up, blinking at Koichi, who handed him a fresh towel. He took the item gratefully, wiping his forehead.
“Do you have a minute?” Koichi asked. “I would like to talk to you.”
“Of course,” Uchi nodded.
Suddenly it was only too easy to get up, something he had thought of as impossible only a moment ago. Yet, there he was, standing in front of Koichi - actually towering over him. How was it he felt so inferior to that man?
“Uchi-kun, I’m sorry about the other day,” Koichi said timidly. “Yuki pretty much washed my head and I think maybe I was being too harsh. You might have… misunderstood my intentions.”
“Your intentions?” Uchi blinked.
“You have a lot of potential,” Koichi smiled at him. “I just want you to grow as much as you can.”
Uchi looked at him skeptically, considering him for a while. Then he smiled at him sweetly.
“Thank you, Koichi-kun,” he said happily. “I’m glad you came out and talked to me about this.”
“Me too,” Koichi smiled back at him. “Next time something’s bothering you, you’ll tell me straight on, okay?”
“Sure,” Uchi nodded. “Uekusa-kun already said that I should do that.”
Koichi chuckled. “He just knows me that well.”
“It’s good to have someone by your side,” Uchi mused. “We should both go home and spend some time with our respective lovers.”
“Indeed,” Koichi nodded. “See you tomorrow, Uchi-kun.”
“Yeah, see you, Koichi,” Uchi waved as he finally left.
__________________________________________________________________________________
Night 26
Ryo sighed heavily, letting off Uchi’s neck.
“Honey, could it be you’re not really into it?” he asked, smiling sympathetically at his lover.
“I’m sorry,” Uchi sighed. “That stage play is getting to my head, really.”
“Tell Koichi you want to take a day off, or maybe two,” Ryo suggested. “It might be good for you to let all of it got for a while.”
Uchi merely shook his head. “I’m behind schedule as it is, I can’t afford to miss even an hour.”
“Oh, come on,” Ryo moaned, rolling his eyes. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Koichi’s alays pushing so hard, but you don’t have to meet all of his expectations.”
“But I want to,” Uchi opposed.
“So, appealing to Koichi is more important now than loving me?” Ryo asked, looking sour.
“Oh no,” Uchi sighed out, “please, let’s not get wrapped up a fight right now.”
“Well, at least we’d have some kind of interaction,” Ryo told him. “We haven’t even talked to each other properly in weeks.”
“It’s just for a while, though,” Uchi opposed.
“But it’s not about the play,” Ryo opposed. “Even when you’re not it anymore, other things will come up. Will I always row in second?”
“No,” Uchi vehemently shook his head. “No, it’s not like that.”
“Oh, no?” Ryo raised a brow. “Then prove it. Take tomorrow off. And tell Koichi he can fucking do his extra hours by himself.”
“I…” Uchi bit his lip, “can’t,” he finally sighed. “I’m sorry, but I cannot disappoint Koichi. And what’s more, I am definitely not good enough yet. I want to be proud of what I do and it just so happens that I need to work for it more than some of the other guys. I thought you of all people would understand. You’re working a lot too. And I never complained, even if you didn’t come home for a week straight.”
“You’re right,” Ryo sighed, rubbing his eyes. “I’m sorry, I just… somehow it bothers me that he seems to be so close to you right now. You’re spending time together every day and you share memories.”
“Oh, but Ryo-chan,” Uchi choked, pulling the other close to him. “That’s…”
“…stupid,” Ryo finished the thought, his voice muffled against Uchi’s shoulder.
“It really is stupid,” the other agreed. “I always miss you when I have to work long hours.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
Suddenly Ryo found his lips captured and what he had already forgotten about came back to him slowly. Heat spread between them, making him feel excited. They started making out and this time Uchi seemed much more attentive, which was happily welcomed by Ryo. Their bodies first started to move together, they got closer, molding, finally becoming one and Ryo felt like he was flying with his lover being the wind that makes him go higher, higher, already awaiting the heavy crush he knew he would meet. When it came, the impact was almost crushing him completely - only that it was not what he expected.
“Koichi…”
__________________________________________________________________________________
Part 2
Pairing/Group: Uchi/Uekusa, Koichi/Uekusa, Ryo/Uchi
Rating: NC-17 for adult content
Warnings: Language, sexual situations, adultary, mental distress
Summary: Endless SHOCK is going into another round in 2010. Uchi is new to the crew and he needs to fit in. How will he do? In a company with so many different characters many things will happen. The story begins at the beginning of rehearsals on day 4.
Note: So, here it is, the story that came to my mind. I really, really hope you will like it somehow. I think it's very different from what you expected. It's also different from what I intended when I started and now it turned out like this. Please, enjoy.
Day 04
Ryo stirred as he felt something next to him shifting. He blinked his eyes open, seeing the figure of his lover getting up.
“You’re leaving already?” he asked sleepily.
“Oh, did I wake you?” Uchi asked, sounding apologetic. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to wake you up - it’s still so early and you’ve had some busy days.”
“Where are you going now anyway?”
Uchi sighed. “Rehearsals. Koichi-kun asked me to come in early. He said I need some coaching on the steps.”
“What - so you’ll be practicing alone?” Ryo asked, sitting up.
Uchi sneered slightly. “I doubt he will deprive himself of the pleasure of correcting me repeatedly, so I assume he’ll be there.”
“He can be quite a pain,” Ryo muttered. “I remember…”
“It’s not like he’s picking on me particularly,” Uchi shrugged. “It’s a bit of an unfortunate situation to be the only new guy on set.”
“I’m feeling with you,” Ryo smiled at him.
“Thanks,” the other smiled back. “I’d better hurry now, though. See you later.”
“Okay,” Ryo beamed at him.
Uchi swished out the door, leaving his lover back alone. Only a second later he stuck his head back into the room, though.
“You go back to sleep. You need to rest.”
“Get going already,” Ryo muttered, rolling his eyes, but finally shifting himself into a lying position again.
Uchi smiled at that and finally made to leave.
__________________________________________________________________________________
“Good morning, Uchi-kun,” Koichi greeted his co-actor happily.
“Good morning, Koichi-kun,” Uchi answered with a polite nod.
“I hope you had some good rest?”
“It was good enough,” Uchi told him, “but quite short.”
“Sorry for asking you here so early,” Koichi smiled apologetically. “I just thought it would be easier for you to practice without everybody else being around. You always seem a bit uncomfortable in the crowd. Of course, it’s also more comfortable for the others if we don’t keep them with basic training when everybody is here.”
Uchi nodded, biting his lip. He knew Koichi meant well and he was really actually a nice and considerate guy, but the way he said things could hit you hard. Suddenly he felt like a burden for the crew, because naturally he couldn’t live up to the standards they had. He was giving it his best, though, and at least Koichi gave him the chance to improve.
They started out with some basic movement studies. Koichi was very particular about the dos and don’ts, the logics of motorics and personal interpretation. Some of the concepts were easy to grasp and seemed almost ridiculous to Uchi. Why would anyone define 19 different standing positions? Koichi just kept insisting that definition was the basic of every science and art, which he simply had to accept. Other things, then, were completely out of his reach and too abstract to really understand.
Later they changed to choreography. Uchi found that he remembered the steps easily, much quicker than Koichi usually did, but he always had difficulties coordinating them. Koichi let him practice, inspecting him and throwing in instructions, whenever he forgot a certain element.
“Head!”
“Rise, rise!”
“Shoulders back!”
About two hours later Uchi was pretty spent and sank to the floor with an exhausted sigh.
“You’ve got quite the spirit,” Koichi praised him. “There’s still a lot to do, though. Well, for today I think that should be enough.”
Uchi merely nodded, still feeling to weak to even look up.
“You’re ruining the kid.”
Koichi swished around to find the source of the complaining voice. His eyes widened slightly in surprise.
“Yuki… what are you doing here?”
“What do you mean, what am I doing here?” Uekusa asked, sounding a bit sour. “What are you doing here?! You just sneaked out of the apartment. When I woke up you were gone, no note, or anything - what kind of attitude is that?”
“Ah, I didn’t want to wake you up,” Koichi shrugged. “I’m sorry, I…”
“Why are you even here, anyway?” the other kept complaining. “You came home at 3am and three hours later you’re already off again.”
“Because Uchi-kun needs to practice,” Koichi told him.
Uekusa looked at the young man sitting on the floor and frowned. “Do you think this is a good idea?”
“I don’t mind,” Uchi blurted out. “It’s really okay. I appreciate Koichi-kun supports me so much. Even though I’m slow sometimes, he doesn’t get mad, but he comes for extra hours of training.”
Uekusa eyed his lover. “He’d be someone to complain about people being slow…”
“I’m not saying the training is not good for me,” Koichi shrugged with a grin. “Come on, Uchi-kun, one more time."
___________________________________________________________________________________
Day 16
Uchi sighed as he sat down on a bench, completely exhausted. He was still struggling with… well with pretty much everything. The lines, the fighting, the dancing… He was pretty sure he was improving, though. And his muscles didn’t hurt as bad anymore every time rehearsals were over. Eve so Koichi kept pushing him, correcting him repeatedly and letting him do even the smallest routine over and over until he was completely satisfied. He had blended in with the crew well, though, which was nice. However, for the time being he was glad to be by himself. He had placed himself in a corner where he wouldn’t be spotted easily. He needed some alone time. He blinked, however, as he heard voices rousing.
“I can’t help thinking that it’s too much for him. He’s working hard and all, but no matter what we do, he just can’t reach the level that I need.”
That was Koichi’s voice.
“Koichi, it’s his first year,” Uekusa argued.
“I understand that,” Koichi nodded. “It takes time. But for now, he is so busy catching up with everybody, I don’t think he will manage the solo stuff. We can change his scenes in later productions, but for now I’d feel better if you took over a few things.”
“You’re too pressed,” Uekusa told him.
“It’s my play,” Koichi stated firmly. “All of this was created by me. My passion, my money, my heart goes into this. I am considering Uchi-kun, of course. But the company comes first, as does the play.”
“Your heart,” Uekusa muttered sadly. “It really goes into the play. Along with your passion, I agree. You know, sometimes I wonder why your main character got your own name…”
“Everybody is using their own names,” Koichi shrugged. “It’s for the character of the play, because it tells our own story in a way.”
“Does it?” Uekusa asked. “It feels that way sometimes. You should be more careful, Koichi. Take a look sideways every now and then on your way to the top, or else you will miss some very important things.”
“Please, Yuki, no speech now,” Koichi moaned, rolling his eyes.
“I support you where I can,” Uekusa tried to calm his lover. “I’ll take over a few parts too, if you want me to. I’m just saying, maybe you’re getting too… absorbed.”
“I think we’ve had that discussion,” Koichi stated, sounding annoyed.
“We have,” Uekusa agreed.
“Okay, and I can’t have it again now. We’ll talk at home, okay? I have to get going, I have an appointment for an interview.”
With that Koichi obviously left, because the conversation ended there. Uchi felt bad, it wasn’t nice to eavesdrop like that. But then, he had gotten caught up in the situation by accident. He could have left, of course, or shown himself. Just… He looked at Uekusa standing in the room, sighing sadly. Uchi bit his lip for a second, then he stepped out into the room. Uekusa blinked at the unexpected noise, but relaxed as he saw the younger man standing in the door.
“Sorry,” Uchi blurted out, not really knowing why that was the word that came out.
Uekusa merely waved him off, though. “It’s not like Koichi would have held back if he had known that you are here.”
“Koichi-kun… is a bit weird,” Uchi stated carefully.
Uekusa laughed at that. “Agreed. But, you know, his passion, his devotion, his passion… it’s something that I love about him. I love watching him getting engaged like that.”
“I’d be jealous, if it were me,” Uchi tried to joke.
“I am sometimes,” Uekusa said, his tone more earnest than Uchi would have liked, “but in the end, I’m the one he can rely on.”
“You are wonderful,” Uchi cheered. “Koichi is so lucky.” Once he said the words he realized how they must have sounded. He blushed furiously. “I mean,” he stuttered, “you’re a good man and Koichi really is lucky. I just hope he appreciates you appropriately.”
“Aw, Uchi-kun,” Uekusa smiled at him. “You’re really sweet. Thank you.”
Uchi blinked as he got a light peck to his cheek. Trying to change the subject he decided to get daring about what he just witnessed.
“Uekusa-kun,” he asked carefully, “do you think… Koichi-kun has issues?”
“It’s nothing much,” Uekusa waved him off.
“It sounded like… something,” Uchi tried carefully. “Like… like he’s kind of - I don’t know - blending into his character.”
Uekusa laughed slightly at that, but it sounded a bit forced. “Koichi once said that he would prefer to die at work, but I highly doubt that he meant it like that.”
“It feels weird, though,” Uchi mused.
“You shouldn’t worry about these things,” Uekusa told him, patting his shoulder. “I’m just sorry you overheard…”
Uchi blinked for a second, then he understood, blushing, but waving the other off. “Nah, it’s all true, after all. I have trouble getting through all the parts. I guess Koichi-kun is right, for a first year it might be too much for me to get a solo part too. The dancing is almost killing me as it is.”
“We’ll find something suitable for you,” Uekusa promised him with a smile.
“Thank you,” Uchi nodded gratefully. “Ne…”
“Hm?”
“Do you… love him?” Uchi asked, feeling stupid, but he simply couldn’t help it.
“Oh, I do.”
_________________________________________________________________________________
Night 16
“Fuck, Yuki,” Koichi groaned out.
He was pumping his lover hard and fast, making him moan desperately. Koichi grinned as he felt quivering hands digging almost painfully into the flesh around his shoulder blades. His lover was so responsive, always so hot, tight, it felt like the wet hole was trying to milk him and he would devour him until the very last second, revel in the feeling of hot, sweaty, sticky…
“Good,” Uekusa moaned out. “Yeah, come on, right there…”
Sex with Koichi was… hot, thrilling, dirty, passionate and many other things. He always delved into it with vigor. Even so, there were some things he would never get.
“Koichi, kiss me,” he breathed out.
He could see the annoyed gleam in Koichi’s eyes, feel the slightly unsteady shifting he did, hear the slight sigh that escaped his lips, but then he felt the plush petals against his mouth and latched on. He knew Koichi didn’t appreciate “romantic distraction” while they were fucking, but just every now and then Uekusa needed that small sign of affection. And Koichi always gave it to him too. He was just like that. Determined. In everything that he did. It was his job to please his lover. Per definition. End of story. If Uekusa wanted a kiss, he would give it to him - even though he would never understand why it had to happen in that exact moment.
Even so he dove down, kissing the other heatedly, giving him some good tongue and just to make sure he did a proper job of it he licked the sensitive area of Uekusa’s neck, right behind his ear. He felt a shaky breath blowing softly by his face and figured he had done a proper job, so he drew back and finally concentrated on the real thing again. His dick was driving into his lover like mad, making him moan and beg and ask for more. He was only too willing to give the other his everything. His hand found Uekusa’s cock, starting to stroke it with intent right from the beginning. He felt his orgasm approaching fast and doubled his efforts on his lover, who finally, with a longing sigh of relief, cramped his legs around his rutting form as he came all over Koichi’s stroking hand. Koichi heaved a small sigh of relief before he threw himself into his thrusts. It didn’t take much more to throw him over the edge too and he came, long and hard, coating the insides of his lover.
“Feel me,” he whispered into Uekusa’s ear.
“Mh, Koichi…”
“Fuck, that was good,” Koichi sighed in satisfaction.
“Oh god, Koichi,” Uekusa gasped. “I… love you so much.”
His arms went around Koichi’s neck, pulling him down into a tender kiss. Koichi let it happen easily, although that kind of thing always made him feel a bit… off. Some time ago he decided that it was okay to say the words that would make Uekusa happy - just to make him happy. He was his lover, after all, he should do what it took to make him happy.
“I love you too…”
___________________________________________________________________________________
Day 23
“Uchi-kun!”
Uchi cringed at the harsh tone. “Yes?”
The music was turned off and Uchi knew this would be bad.
“I’ll be telling you this one more time,” Koichi grumbled angrily. “It’s quarter turn left, then you shift and it’s 3/8 turn right, not a half turn, dammit. You’re never in synch with the rest of your group.”
Uchi sighed miserably. “I totally don’t get that 1/8 concept at all. Why can’t it just be a half turn?”
“I’m not discussing the choreography with you,” Koichi told him, hands on his hips, “just because you keep messing up. Why can’t you do it just like everyone else?”
Uchi bit his lip, not knowing what to say. He was trying hard, but somehow it seemed like he just couldn’t live up to Koichi’s expectations. Koichi, the perfectionist, who expected the best of everybody. He was giving it his best - what did it mean that his best obviously wasn’t good enough? He would never be able to stand next to Koichi. Never.
“I’m s-sorry,” was all he could finally muster.
Koichi merely sighed, shaking his head. “Go home, Uchi-kun. It seems you can’t get your mind to it today. We’ll be rehearsing this for you later.”
Uchi looked at the floor, sighing in defeat. When Koichi turned his back to him, though, his gaze hardened.
“No,” he opposed.
Koichi turned back to blink at him. “What?”
“No, I don’t want to go,” Uchi stated firmly. “I want to practice with everybody. You might think I’m still not ready, maybe that I’ll never be fit, but I want to keep working so you won’t have to fear that I’ll blow it on stage. Please, let me show you what I can do.”
Koichi considered him for a moment, then he grinned and nodded his approval.
“Very well,” he offered. “Show me what you’ve got, then. But for now you’ll switch into third row. Try to get in synch with the others.”
“Yes,” Uchi nodded, finding his new position.
He could not disappoint Koichi. And he wouldn’t. He’d show him what he was capable of. The following try was close to disastrous. He messed up on the pace and his directions. This time, however, he received no scolding as he had expected. At first he felt relieved, but then he understood what that actually meant. Koichi wasn’t even considering him anymore. He kept the rehearsal running with no more care of what he did. Uchi still pulled through. He had to show Koichi that he was willing to do anything - which he was. It was hard, though. Koichi picked up the pace quite some, wanting to get a few more things done.
By the time the rehearsal was over Uchi was panting hard, his legs feeling wobbly and his mind almost broken. How could he ever fit into such a production? He sank to the floor in a corner of the room, draining an entire bottle of water in one go. He didn’t even notice how guy after guy swept out, but suddenly he found himself siting there by himself. And finally he broke. Tears welled up in his eyes and he didn’t care at all anymore, he just wanted to cry it all out. The helpless frustration, the anger… Sobs started to shake his body as he curled in on himself, letting everything out, relieving his body of the unbearable tension it had been in the entire day - if not longer.
“Why are you crying now?”
Uchi started, looking up. Of course, he wasn’t entirely by himself. Of course, there had to be more. Of course, his humiliation wasn’t finished yet.
“I can’t do it,” Uchi merely sobbed out, not even trying to hide his tears - there was no use now anyway.
“Oh, stop talking bullshit,” Uekusa demanded ,rolling his eyes. “You’re doing great.”
“You heard Koichi,” Uchi insisted. “At first he just kept saying how I couldn’t get it right, then he didn’t even care for that anymore.
Uekusa sighed, crouching down next to Uchi. “Koichi,” he began, trying to sound sympathetic, “sometimes doesn’t notice when he’s being… too harsh. He’s a very straightforward guy. People often feel offended by that. He doesn’t even know he’s hurting you.”
“If I can’t meet his expectations, I can’t go complaining when he scolds me,” Uchi shrugged.
“There are many ways to say things. If you’re not okay with how he goes about it, then tell him, dammit. You shouldn’t sit here and cry in secret. He just is the kind of guy you have to slap across the face if he won’t stop annoying you. He won’t mind, trust me.”
Uchi bit his lip, thinking about that.
“Please, believe me,” Uekusa pressed, grasping Uchi’s shoulder reassuringly. “The last thing he wants to do is to get you demotivated. He wants you to throw yourself into it with passion. How can you do that when you despise the rehearsal sessions?”
“Okay,” Uchi nodded weakly.
“So, next time you feel over-strained, just let it fly towards him,” Uekusa told him. “It’ll be better, then. Okay?”
“Right.” Finally the younger man sighed in relief. His tears had dried and he gave Uekusa a smile. Next Uekusa blinked in surprise as he felt his shoulders being grasped as Uchi pulled him into a hug, holding on tightly, enjoying the warm feeling. “Thank you,” he whispered and Uekusa felt a tinge of guilt in the pit of his stomach, because he found he hadn’t felt so cherished in a long time. It was just Uchi - the kid was so sweet and loving, without having any further intentions. Just sweet.
__________________________________________________________________________________
Night 23
“Oh god, I can’t move as much as an inch anymore,” Koichi complained as he flopped down on his sofa. “Yuki, you’ll have to carry me to bed tonight,” he announced lazily. “Oh, and sorry, but I’m afraid I can’t pleasure you tonight.”
“That’s okay,” Uekusa chuckled in amusement, sitting down next to his lover, stroking his hair softly.
He loved Koichi’s hair. It was soft and shiny and downright wonderful. In his current state Koichi did not voice any complaints either. In fact, Koi chi seemed very relaxed, so Uekusa decided it might be a good moment to reason with his lover.
“You’re destroying yourself,” he scolds mildly, his fingers tracing lazy patterns on Koichi’s relaxed face. “And you’re destroying the crew.”
“Nah, they’re used to it,” Koichi mumbled silently.
“Not all of them,” Uekusa pointed out. “Uchi-kun is really trying hard, but I think you’re too hard on him. He doesn’t understand you’re only trying to make him rise higher.”
“He will understand,” Koichi argued, frowning slightly. “Do we have to talk about work right now? How about this - I’ll pull you if you pull me.”
“This is not about sex,” Uekusa told him. “I’m just really thinking that you’re asking too much of the kid.”
“You’re just being overly protective,” Koichi waved him off. “He’s doing fine. And he’ll learn.”
“He didn’t look so fine when I found him after rehearsals today crying his eyes out, because he thought you were ignoring him.”
Koichi stiffened slightly, but then merely shrugged. “There was no more I could have told him.”
“Just try and be a bit nice to him,” Uekusa requested.
“Fine,” Koichi yawned. “How about that hand-job now?”
“Koichi, I think you should have some hot drink now and then get some rest. Maybe you’ll get a full five hours of sleep.”
“Sleeping is boring, though,” Koichi complained. “Plus, so inefficient. I can’t do anything productive while I’m sleeping. It’s a total waste of time.”
“Sometimes you’re really scaring me,” Uekusa stated, a knowing smile on his face. “You’d work on your choreography, or your lines while dreaming if you could.”
“Now that would be something totally brilliant,” Koichi beamed. “I could work while sleeping.”
“You’d lose your mind,” Uekusa opposed. “You would never stop thinking about your work.”
“Maybe not,” Koichi agreed. “And it might make me lose it.”
“It’s good to think of other things sometimes,” Uekusa advised.
“What should I be thinking of?” Koichi asked, obviously wanting input.
“How about… me?” the older man joked.
Koichi chuckled lightly, actually snuggling into his lover’s warm form. “I’m thinking about you way more than would be good for work.”
“Oh?” Uekusa asked, raising a brow. “You’re thinking of me when you’re at work? Shame on you.”
“You like that?” Koichi asked, sounding amused.
“You know,” the other mused, “sometimes it feels like your work is your first love and we just… kinda happened. But when you say things like that I can’t help thinking that you did choose me especially.”
“I did,” Koichi told him.
“That is nice to hear,” Uekusa smiled.
“Hm,” Koichi hummed thoughtfully. “Now I’m wondering, would you think it’s cheating when I think about work while I’m with you?”
Uekusa laughed at that. “I don’t think I could make you forget about it entirely. So long as it’s not while we’re having sex, I’ll live with it.”
“Definitely not during sex,” Koichi told him. “Play-Koichi doesn’t have sex. He doesn’t even crave it. His drive goes into another direction completely. The ultimate love, absolutely pure. It’s beautiful in a way.”
“But also forever one-sided,” Uekusa told him.
Koichi sat up, looking into his lover’s eyes. “Which is why I share sex with you alone.”
“That’s good to hear,” the other muttered, brushing their lips together softly. “Now get changed and go to bed.”
“Okay,” Koichi sighed. “I really am tired.”
Uekusa smiled after him. And about fifteen minutes later the two of them were lying in bed together. Uekusa sighed in content. It had gotten rare for them to sleep together like that. He snaked his arm around Koichi’s waist, enjoying the warmth of his body. Soon he felt the body next to him shifting, though.
“Yuki, really… I can’t sleep like that,” Koichi complained.
“Just a few minutes, then?” Uekusa asked, kissing Koichi’s shoulder blade affectionately.
“Fine,” Koichi gave him, settling down again.
Uekusa sighed happily once more, ignoring the fact that Koichi showed no interest in engaging in the intimate moment. It didn’t matter. Not really. Koichi always accepted him happily, something he knew Koichi did not do easily, so they had a special connection. He enjoyed the closeness for a few more minutes, before, as promised, he pulled back and arranged himself to sleep next to Koichi.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Day 26
Uchi panted in exhaustion. Their session had been a lot better than any of the ones before, but even so he still felt like a nuisance. Koichi hadn’t talked to him all day and he couldn’t help wondering what the other was thinking. At the same time he felt angry with himself. Why was it so important for him what Koichi thought? Of course, he was the head of the company, but that didn’t make him something like his boss. It seemed that for the first time since he joined the company he broke down no earlier than at least some other people. Machida and Tatsumi dropped onto the floor, completely spent, Matsuzaki leaned heavily against a wall and even Koichi looked more than spent.
“Thank you, everybody,” Koichi called out, waving weakly. “Otsukare-sama desu.”
Within a mere few minutes most of the actors swept out the door, but Uchi was still feeling too weak to get up.
“Uchi-kun.”
Uchi looked up, blinking at Koichi, who handed him a fresh towel. He took the item gratefully, wiping his forehead.
“Do you have a minute?” Koichi asked. “I would like to talk to you.”
“Of course,” Uchi nodded.
Suddenly it was only too easy to get up, something he had thought of as impossible only a moment ago. Yet, there he was, standing in front of Koichi - actually towering over him. How was it he felt so inferior to that man?
“Uchi-kun, I’m sorry about the other day,” Koichi said timidly. “Yuki pretty much washed my head and I think maybe I was being too harsh. You might have… misunderstood my intentions.”
“Your intentions?” Uchi blinked.
“You have a lot of potential,” Koichi smiled at him. “I just want you to grow as much as you can.”
Uchi looked at him skeptically, considering him for a while. Then he smiled at him sweetly.
“Thank you, Koichi-kun,” he said happily. “I’m glad you came out and talked to me about this.”
“Me too,” Koichi smiled back at him. “Next time something’s bothering you, you’ll tell me straight on, okay?”
“Sure,” Uchi nodded. “Uekusa-kun already said that I should do that.”
Koichi chuckled. “He just knows me that well.”
“It’s good to have someone by your side,” Uchi mused. “We should both go home and spend some time with our respective lovers.”
“Indeed,” Koichi nodded. “See you tomorrow, Uchi-kun.”
“Yeah, see you, Koichi,” Uchi waved as he finally left.
__________________________________________________________________________________
Night 26
Ryo sighed heavily, letting off Uchi’s neck.
“Honey, could it be you’re not really into it?” he asked, smiling sympathetically at his lover.
“I’m sorry,” Uchi sighed. “That stage play is getting to my head, really.”
“Tell Koichi you want to take a day off, or maybe two,” Ryo suggested. “It might be good for you to let all of it got for a while.”
Uchi merely shook his head. “I’m behind schedule as it is, I can’t afford to miss even an hour.”
“Oh, come on,” Ryo moaned, rolling his eyes. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Koichi’s alays pushing so hard, but you don’t have to meet all of his expectations.”
“But I want to,” Uchi opposed.
“So, appealing to Koichi is more important now than loving me?” Ryo asked, looking sour.
“Oh no,” Uchi sighed out, “please, let’s not get wrapped up a fight right now.”
“Well, at least we’d have some kind of interaction,” Ryo told him. “We haven’t even talked to each other properly in weeks.”
“It’s just for a while, though,” Uchi opposed.
“But it’s not about the play,” Ryo opposed. “Even when you’re not it anymore, other things will come up. Will I always row in second?”
“No,” Uchi vehemently shook his head. “No, it’s not like that.”
“Oh, no?” Ryo raised a brow. “Then prove it. Take tomorrow off. And tell Koichi he can fucking do his extra hours by himself.”
“I…” Uchi bit his lip, “can’t,” he finally sighed. “I’m sorry, but I cannot disappoint Koichi. And what’s more, I am definitely not good enough yet. I want to be proud of what I do and it just so happens that I need to work for it more than some of the other guys. I thought you of all people would understand. You’re working a lot too. And I never complained, even if you didn’t come home for a week straight.”
“You’re right,” Ryo sighed, rubbing his eyes. “I’m sorry, I just… somehow it bothers me that he seems to be so close to you right now. You’re spending time together every day and you share memories.”
“Oh, but Ryo-chan,” Uchi choked, pulling the other close to him. “That’s…”
“…stupid,” Ryo finished the thought, his voice muffled against Uchi’s shoulder.
“It really is stupid,” the other agreed. “I always miss you when I have to work long hours.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
Suddenly Ryo found his lips captured and what he had already forgotten about came back to him slowly. Heat spread between them, making him feel excited. They started making out and this time Uchi seemed much more attentive, which was happily welcomed by Ryo. Their bodies first started to move together, they got closer, molding, finally becoming one and Ryo felt like he was flying with his lover being the wind that makes him go higher, higher, already awaiting the heavy crush he knew he would meet. When it came, the impact was almost crushing him completely - only that it was not what he expected.
“Koichi…”
__________________________________________________________________________________
Part 2